my bf and i have been together for 5yrs and living with each other for 2yrs.he always seems to be bitter towords me.for example when i got a well deserved raise at work instead of being happy for me he was almost jealous.whenever anything good happens to me he never seems to care.he also does not care that his exwife talkes badly about me to everyone we know.its not like hes depressed he gets excited to do things with his son,dad,and even friends but when we do anything its like he just wants to get it over with.he never comes home and wants to do anything with me i am the one that always has to bring something up.our datting started with me going over to his place to watch dvds. thats been the highlight except for a few trips that i had to plan completely and had to talk him into.I allways think i'm asking for to much thats why i stay.can you men out there tell me why a man would would want to stay with someone he did not love? we do NOT have children together and its not for sex.
2006-12-19 13:09:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
were both in our mid 30s
2006-12-19 13:09:40 · update #1
I've been with my boyfriend for five years, and he has never treated me like that. I would not put up with it, and neither should you. Life is short, and you have already wasted five years! Move ON.
2006-12-19 13:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes it is just easier to stay in a relationship then to end it and try to start all over again. It sounds like your boyfriend is in a comfort zone that you are meeting all of his needs and you in turn are receiving nothing. Without some kind of mutuality a relationship becomes painful for the person affected by this imbalance of power. You are a young woman who sounds very intelligent and caring and you should really not have to get thrown a few scraps now and then by a man who is interested in nobody but himself. After five years you will never be able to change his selfcentredness, but I sense from you question that you are already aware of that and are probably just looking for some remote reason why you would want to stay. You will probably just see many examples confirming your own feelings of helplessness over this situation. Your boyfriend is petty and you know that you deserve so much better.
Why not give yourself a wonderful gift this year of letting go of this sad relationship and find the person that will appreciate you and make your heart dance. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-19 13:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in the same exact situation only we were married. We were even in our early 30s. This is so hurtful. after a few years apart, I asked him why he treated me so badly. He told me I made so much money that he did not feel like a man anymore. He thought if he get someone that really depended on him he would feel like man again. so he married her. now he is trying for a reconciliation with me. sound like he wants to stay because he does not want to be alone. when he finds some one else he will be gone.
2006-12-19 15:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by KinWin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its called the convenience zone. yet extremely, do you opt to stay with somebody that would not even look to love you? whilst a guy has an ex that's bags allready accrued. You sound such as you could make it on your individual. If the region is on your call purely kick him out after Christmas. yet whilst its his place purely look at renting a truck and get your stuff out of there whilst he's at artwork. Make it a sparkling smash.
2016-10-18 12:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Convenience. If you say he acts depressed, he may also not have the energy to re-evaluate his life and thinks it is easier to stay with you then go out and find someone else. But who cares about him, what about you? You are obviously not happy in the relationship and you deserve to find someone that is excited to spend time with you and initiates trips and activities and is happy and supportive of your every move. You can't change your boyfriend but you can change the situation, and I say if you are not happy, then get out of the relationship so you can find happiness, too. Good Luck.
2006-12-19 13:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by melissa_anne_maison 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This relationship started with a date to watch dvds at his place and you moved in with him the man didn't romance you then so why are you with him? if he keeps putting you down and spends no time with you, ask yourself over and over again why are you still with this man. The sex can't be that good and you have no kids together.
2006-12-19 13:18:02 · answer #6 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sometimes men dont like to be alone. they can be completly miserable and still stay with you. your saying he isnt happy but what about you? you have to be happy to. ask him why he is with you and if he has no good explanation then cut your losses. it will be painful but you dont want to live the rest of your life with a man who does not love you. i mean did you ever ream of being unhappy? of course not no one does. dont settle wait for the one you cant live without, the one who makes you happy, and teats you with respect. it will be worth the wait when it happens.
2006-12-19 13:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is more for convenience for him. You probably take care of him cook, clean, laundry, etc... Most men go from one woman taking care of him to another. Most men do not like being by themselves they have to have someone to take care of them. I do not think he treats you right. For God sake he does not even take you out. I say kick him out and find someone who will love and appreciate you!
2006-12-19 13:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by d3midway semi-retired 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would wager that you are afraid of the process of starting over with someone new. the familiar is comfortable even if you don't like what you are doing. new is scary. staying in your rut takes no effort.
2006-12-19 13:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by atlas shrugged and so do i 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a question only that particular man can answer.
2006-12-19 16:02:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋