My hubby hits the bars with his female co-workers and thinks nothing of it. I know these people working there being an ex bartender. He tells me to go out with my male friends. I think this is disrespectful of your spouse. I have gone out with them once and one of the women told me I must be a really understanding wife letting him go out with her. She told me men ask her if she is out with her grandpa. Which I have not told my husband about this thinking it will hurt his feelings. We were all sitting at a table and my husband got up so his male friend that was sitting next to me moved closer to her when my husband returned he told his friend that he was sitting in his seat so his friend moved back over by me and my husband sat next to this female coworker again which made me furious.I have children at home and can't always go. I quess what I am trying to ask is it OK for married people to go out with the opposite sex in everyones elses mind?
2006-12-19 13:01:36 · 21 answers · asked by deedee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is disrespectful to you if it bothers you and he knows it. He should take your feelings into account. You have let him know that you are not comfortable when he goes out with out you, let alone with other women of questionable morals. Draw the line!
2006-12-19 13:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by JillA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Situations like this are always asking for trouble. Eventually there will be a problem. My husband and I only go out together. Weather it's with his friends onr my friends, or both. I wouldn't spaz about the co-worker. Maybe she didn't want the "male friend" sitting near her. I have asked my guy friends to watch my back before, that might have been the reason for the seating arrangement. Although hubby should have explained that to you, but then again men are clueless. Find a good baby sitter and hit the outtings together. Happy Holidays.
2006-12-19 13:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you both need to get on the same page and work things out. He happens to be a married man and his obligation is at home. If you can find a babysitter, then do things that you both can include your child. Bars are only trouble in this particular case. If he needs a drink, make one at home.If he's looking for entertainment, put your son to bed early. The best advise I can give you is to sit down quietly and talk with him. You both have a child to consider, and to make things work there has to be good communication and trust and compassion for each other. Just let him know how you feel and discuss it as an outside problem without putting blame on each other.
2016-05-22 22:37:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off im assuming you have talked to him about this because if you hve not that is the only thing that is going to help you. But no i do not think that what is happening in your situation is ok at all. Married couples should go out and have fun together not seperate it creates a space which you shouldn't have since you are one. Just the fact that you are putting this out there for an opinion lets me know that you fel you are being comprimised so guess what hes your husband go ahead and talk to him let Him know how you are feeling.
2006-12-19 13:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Silly Goodgirl! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an adult, you're not his mother, and you have no place giving or denying "permission." That said, this is an issue of trust, communication, and maturity.
I'm female and work in the technology field. Most of my colleagues are male and married. We go out frequently to lunch or happy hour as a mixed group. This includes both men and women, single and married. We are all mature professionals who are secure in our relationships, and there has never been any impropriety whatsoever. It's never even come up.
What it comes down to is how much integrity your husband has, how well you trust him, how strong your relationship is, and how well you communicate.
If he's going to cheat, he's going to do it no matter what and at that point, you have to re-evaluate your situation and what you are willing to accept. Chances are there's nothing going on and nothing ever will. Trust him until you can't and make your decision then. Good luck!
2006-12-19 13:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
THAT IS A BIG FAT NEGATIVE. I would say going out every once in a while with co-workers i.e. females/friends is ok. But I would say plan it in advance and give you the chance to go. I think it might be time for a wake up call. If you know when they plan to go out again, I would get a sitter, not tell him and show up at the bar ! YOU might get all the answers you need. I would say make sure he doesn't see you at first. You learn more that away ! I bet it works try it and let us know !! REMEMBER you can't tell him you just have to wait a while, let them get a few drinks in them and BAM show up ! HAVE FUN !
If there is nothing to hide, then no one will be upset you showed up and you will see and learn nothing
2006-12-19 13:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No - I do not think it is okay - especially if he knows that it bothers you. Your husband should be more concerned about how it makes you feel because if the tables were turned, I'm sure he would not want you to hang out at bars with your male co-workers/friends.
2006-12-19 13:06:41 · answer #7 · answered by pegasus172 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hell no!!!!
give hubby an ultimatum,either it's you or his female co-workers!!!,he acts like he's going thru a middle age crisis,although I don't know if he's middle age,don't know any man that would tell his wife,to go out with her male friends,I don't know many wives that have male friends,if you husband doesn't stop this bs with his female co-workers throw him out , and move on,I agree I think what he's doing is very disrespectful
you don't deserve that
2006-12-19 13:14:08 · answer #8 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that really depends on how much you trust him. i wouldn't put every one of his moves under a microscope or anything, but if he hasn't given you any reason that he could be cheating, then take his word for it. if he has cheated in the past or you really think that something's going on behind ur back, show up at the bar one night "accidentally" on purpose and see what happens. if he gets nervous and angry that you're there, then there's something going on. if he just embraces you and welcomes your presence then you're totally fine. good luck!!
2006-12-19 13:05:53 · answer #9 · answered by chingona1027 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your husband should have some priorities in his life you being right under GOD. If he does feel the need to go out bar hopping then it should be with you, not "friends".
2006-12-19 13:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by what do you think? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋