how can i tell if my husbands cheating on me?

Question

Me and my husband have been togther foreva lol since we were 16, he cheated on my 3 times when we were in high school and now I feel like he could do it again i wouldn't even notice. Sometimes i just think he would do it again becuase i let him get away with it before. I dont know what to do or what to think. I love him. HELP

Answer 1

1. You get an inkling/feeling/intuition that he is.


Women KNOW. Trust yourself.

2. He works late at least one night a week and either talks too much or too little about it.


And he smells differently when he gets home (either he took a shower, covered up with cologne or.......)

3. He does "really nice things" for you, when he usually doesn't.


Men don't just "get nice" for no reason. Usually they are covering something up or they want something.

4. He has to "go away" for a weekend, but he doesn't want/can't have you join him.


The is usually acceptable, but the feeling/inkling is not.

5. You call the office late, and someone is 'covering' for him.


This should never happen.

6. He's being distant, emotionally.


Well, more than usual, anyway.

7. Your friends start to look at you with a sense of concern/pity.


THEY know.

8. HIS friends avoid you or are overly nice to you.


THEY know.

9. The frequency/passion of sex with each other changes.


These type of changes happen for a REASON!

10. You start getting attracted to another man/men.


This is your body's way of letting you know that your husband isn't meeting your needs.


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Answer 2

Does he smell like another woman perfume or has his routine change? Are other women calling your house or has his sexual desires changed? These are a few things to look for. But what good would it do if you love him just that much. You should never let a man think that if he cheats that you will remain with him. Even if you know different, let him know that if you find out that he is cheating again, then you will leave him because you deserve better. There are just too many STD's out there. Have you been reading the lastest magazine articles? There was one that I read where a husband cheated on his wife and later found out that he had HIV. Of course, he told his wife which felt that this was unfair. But we have to keep things like this in mind. I was married to my husband for eight years. I was so blind that I didn't know that he was cheating on me. I was told about the first one, then the next one. Pretty soon, I started finding out things myself. I gave him a choice and he chose to continue to do the same things. I left because I deserved better than that. I started saving my money and moved with my two children. I left everything that we had. Oh, not to mention, at one time he had me and two other women pregnant. He denied the child until the mother past away. We were already separated. This way before HIV got as bad as it is now. Thank God for that.

Answer 3

As a person that has been on both sides of the cheating (not proud) I would say that if the suspicion is there then he is already showing signs of thinking about it or has actually done it. After being married for so long you know the way he act and dresses. He is in a routine, when the routine changes alarms go off..his way of dressing, his cologne, even fighting changes...either he gets defensive or he gives in easier....phrases like "I need some time for me." or " I just need to find myself" or "I need a change" He is trying to ease you into it...He is giving signals off and he doesn't realize it. Staring out the window or at the door a lot is a good sign also..guarding the phone or the PC is a give away. watch for the signs he will tell you if you know what to look for.

Answer 4

What did he do the last three times? Do you have more reasons to love him or more reasons to need him?
How does he act when you find out that he has cheated again? I'm sorry. I'm asking you questions. I can't understand why men can be such bastards.
Do you think that he loves you? Have you cried when he cheats or do you thank him for showing you that he can get it up for another woman?
Are you in a position where you can make him wonder where you are and if you are cheating on him?
Don't cheat on him--just make him wonder. Do you work? Can you support yourself or do you have family that can help.
You sound like the pro at telling when your husband is cheating---treat him with the same disdain---your forgiveness has not been met with compassion. Why do you love him?

Answer 5

Read this book "The Cheat Sheet".

It lists a whole bunch of ways to tell if he is cheating.

And how to fix it, and make it not happen in the first place.

Most often, once a cheater, always a cheater.
I'm wondering why he married you if he cheated on you before. Maybe you sorted things out and he won't cheat, but on the other hand, you wouldn't be thinking like this unless something wasn't quite right.

Listen to your intuition and find out what is actually going on without letting him know you are snooping.

Answer 6

he may be cheating if 1.he stays out all night,2.worries about looking real good when he goes out and putting on the colone.3.doesnt need sex 4.if hes home with you every night you probably don;t have any thing to worry about. get a friends car that he doesn't know and a wig follow him sometime then you may find out for sure.you can try asking but doubt he;d tell you the truth. try to show him how much you love him give him a reason not to stray,spice things up,and try to keep your self looking good .good luck and merry Christmas hope hes not cheating on you.

Answer 7

WOW you must be a really forgiving person and I hate to say this but I think he is playing on that, forgivness can be a good thing at times but it can also be used against you to hurt you, and to be honest I think he is doing that.
I say you should investigate abit more into this, you could just ask him but he will more then likely just get defensive and if he is cheating he will try and be more sneaky. Play dumb and do some snopping around, I know its not good to do that but It might turn out his totally inocent and it will make you feel alot better knowing that. but if you do find something, confront him with it and leave his sorry ***.

Answer 8

If you feel your husband would betray that trust that you've shared - you can go three ways - ignore you intuition and see if it actually goes away - spy on him without his knowledge - or sit down and talk rationally to him - tell him your feelings and gage his reaction. If he bolts (acting like your concerns are crazy) then he may be doing something , but if he talks calm rationally and does not ...I say does not accuse you of cheating (that is the number 1 sign a person is cheating - they accuse you of doing what they are doing)...wait..also you can go to a bookstore and buy books on how to tell...there is a lots of subtle details that this forum would not be able to cover...

Answer 9

Well since you didn't say how long you've been married it's kinda hard for me to give a good answer.

I think you should trust your husband 100% until you actually know something is going on.

A marriage won't last if there's no trust or if the trust is fragile.

Answer 10

oh yeah , by taking him back three times you basically wrote him a permission slip to nail any skank he wants cos you will be right there to take him back...you should have left after the first time, and you should talk to a therapist to find out why you didnt leave him then...maybe if you have a clearer look into your psychological makeup you will understand what you did by letting him get away with it...