Hi there,
To start the story from the beginning.... My good friend has a rented house and her and her other half have broken up so she needs a hand paying the rent. I said in a moment of desperate insanity living with my parents that i'd move in. It means I'd be sharing a room with her, which goes against my wishes of moving out for lack of space. Also its further from work and will mean getting up an hour earlier!
Im supposed to be moving in the next 2 weeks. How can I let how down so late on? Please help! I really don't want to lose her as a friend!
2006-12-19 12:48:26 · 13 answers · asked by Emily K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks guys, I can't tell her now as its 2.05 am and i'm sure shes asleep! I will first thing tomorrow though. I'm going to offer her a months rent.
It is a 3 bedroom house, every room paying £225 pcm. So she wants me to share the room as she's only used to paying half that. Unless she finds herself a new bloke she wont be able to share the room!
2006-12-19 13:07:05 · update #1
I don't see, at this late in the game, how you can change your mind and keep the friendship. You have a hard choice to make.
2006-12-19 12:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her immediately that you have thought it over and you have decided that you cannot move in with her. Use the distance from your work as the reason. Tell her that you have a hard time getting there on time as it is, and if you had to get up an hour earlier, you know you will often be late, and then you will lose your job. When you tell her this, also tell her that you will help her find a roommate, if she wants you to. If she has a rented house, why would the new renter need to share a room with her? Couldn't she allow the renter to have a room to herself? That way she would have a better chance of finding a renter. But whatever you say, you have to tell her tonight. Don't put it off because the closer it gets to the time, the more hurt she is going to be.
2006-12-19 20:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anniesgran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
⺠Sorry if I seem rude
It was your fault for agreeing with your friend in the first place (think b4 u talk), acknowledge that when you explain to her that you aren't moving in with her.
The reasons you gave are excellent reasons to not move in. Tell her, she'll understand. She is, after all, a friend. She deserves to be mad at you, and you deserve for her to be mad at you. Actually, the longer you wait, the worse you're making it. Just tell her, right now, that you won't move in.
Right now, she's planning for you to move in. The more immediately you tell her, the more time she has to arrange something. Don't give in, either. Remember that it is, after all, just plain dumb to move in with her because you'll only be farther away from work and so on. If she is your friend, you shouldn't have such desperation to keep her such. Friends don't just break up over a misunderstanding. In fact, it may have been this desperation that led to your agreeing so thoughtlessly and absently. You have to be a little more independent in your actions and speech.
Call her, right now, and explain to her that you're not moving in. Tell her your reasons. Remember, it's your choice. The sooner you call [NOW] the more time you're giving her. Don't make this hard on either of you, TELL HER NOW.
However upset she is she'll be more upset should you not let her know until it's TOO LATE and she has to pay the rent. Don't make this complicated, tell her NOW while you can.
I hope you aren't still reading. Tell her. Call her so soon that you won't have to read the next sentence. If you're reading this, you really need to find some guts. What kind of a friendship is this whence you have to submit to whatever she says?? Why can't you stand up for yourself? If you could, you would have called her.
Call.
Now.
Stop reading. I don't hear a phone ring!
lol, but seriously, call her today, now. She deserves to know, and you are a good friend enough not to ditch your friend at the last second when she needs you. For your friendship's sake, tell her now that you still can. Every second you waste is a piece of trust. I honestly don't know why you're still reading; if it were me, I'd call.
NOW
2006-12-19 20:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by Maziar S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you already told her you would move in, you have obligated yourself to be responsible for paying half of everything. (Is this a one bedroom house? There aren't many one bedroom houses out there. Are there others sharing the house too?) If you bale out now, it will not give her enough time to find someone else to help cover the next month's rent. Give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, give her 30 days notice in writing. That way, you won't run into any sticky legal battles over rent and household bills. If you plan to not move in, tell her that you calculated how much more that it would cost you in time and money and tell her that you are not ready for that much financial responsibility. That way you aren't offending her and you are being somewhat honest.
2006-12-19 20:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by hazeleyedbeauty1967 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her ASAP so that she can begin locating a boarder if she needs help with the rent. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Just tell her your sorry, you've changed your mind after much consideration. You might consider offering her half on one months rent, to tide her over until she can find a roommate. This should be sufficient restitution. If she is a good friend, she will understand. If she ends up getting back with her lover, she may even be glad.
2006-12-19 20:56:38 · answer #5 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you didn't think it through properly & that you will move in with her but only until she has either found somewhere cheaper or found someone else to live with her! You can always go back to your parents once you're fed up with sharing a room with your friend!
2006-12-20 10:43:56 · answer #6 · answered by C Greene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you have given it consideration and dont think it would be practical. If she finds a new fella where would she entertain them. and the same goes for you. Plaus your outgoning would increase with the extra travelling plus the extra rent etc. Say you would like to save up for a holiday or something with her instead
2006-12-23 19:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by bren_elvis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, you got a good one! you may be stuck until you can find her a new roommate. 2 weeks is not enough time for her to get someone else and you do want to keep the friendship, right?
decisions made in the heat of the moment will always come back and bite you in the ***. all you can do is deal with it and learn from it...
2006-12-19 20:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by mama dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her as soon as possible and help her find someone to share with, tell her that you can't afford it or make some excuse up she may be annoyed but at the end of the day if she is a good friend she should try and understand although if i was her i would be more annoyed that you didn't tell me sooner
2006-12-20 05:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her what you told us. It's totally unreasonable to expect you to downsize and give up free rent at your parents. It will be worse if you move in. You really would fall out then. She may well be having second thoughts too, and may be relieved to hear you have changed your mind.
2006-12-20 06:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by helen g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋