I filed for divorce n the notice reach him 2 mths ago. He ask me to consider for the kids sake saying the affair is over. He put a password on his phone (that's how I discovered -from his sms) , we start conselling, he comes home more often, is much more loving, spends more time with the kid \, kid loves him, he plans for the future, plan to go on holidays.
I got his password, they are exchanging loving sms. They are collegues. She's deliverying her husbands baby so they wont see each other for sometime after week of 18 Dec. She sms about them having a better year ahead. He lied n say she was on leave since 2 wks ago. I told him a source tell me she is not on leave. He just denies everything n change his password
He came home with a Mont Blac pen. His claim on the source is obviously a lie.
Do I confront him now or wait till the holidays is over? Divorce procceding was suspended till end Jan. Do I "enjoy" the last holiday as a family or show hand now?
2006-12-19 12:14:58 · 37 answers · asked by peaceful 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Rather confronting him at home where things could get ugly or ignored, why don't you wait until the two of you are sitting with your marriage counselor? Since Christmas is only days away I doubt you will gain anything by doing it now anyway. Allow your children their holiday. You said your divorce proceeding was suspended until the end of January. Another option would be to just document every incident or bit of evidence that you have against him and go through with the divorce in Jan. It's up to you to decide if you want to stay in a marriage with a cheater or not. I suppose if it were me, I would just sit on the info until my first visit with the counserlor after the holidays. I doubt I would say anything to him at all. When the counselor asked me how things were going or if we had done some of the exercises we'd been assigned I'd tell what I knew to the counselor and watch him squirm. He'll probably deny it all but he won't be fooling anyone if he really is still cheating. Good luck to you.
2006-12-19 12:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by hairdvs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awwwww sweetie i feel so bad for you! i would end it now, why should you suffer because of what he's doin'? i don't think thats fair to you at all.. i would be like "honey, i'm not gonna sit here and fight for something that isn't there... i don't care what you have to say, but my eyes don't lie to me and i know that your still not being totally honest and i don't deserve that, so if you need to stay here until christmas is over thats fine, but as soon as those papers come in i want them signed so i can get on with my life, just like you are"... dont' let him speak to you, you talk and let him know that you are not gonna sit around and be second best to anyone, you have a kid that needs love and all this crap thats going on is just making me upset and i know that the kid feels it.. walk away and feel good about it cause your a bigger person by not putting up with this crap.. and theres no reason that you should have to sit aside and let him be happy while your not.. go have a life and be happy and love your kid.. good luck and best wishes! hope you have a merry christmas and a happy new year!
2006-12-19 12:23:03 · answer #2 · answered by ~broken~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow through with your divorce. Tell him that you are done. As far as enjoying the last holiday as a family, do it for the kids sake if at all. He broke up the family so you are not much of a family right now.
2006-12-19 12:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is having a baby? How do you know it's not your husbands baby? I would boot him out so dang fast he wouldn't know what hit him...
Sorry, as far as cheating goes, I would never forgive that. Especially when he is obviously still having "something" going on with this woman. And they work together? No way he is he done with her.
I am sorry this is happening to you, I don't think there is anything worse for a partner to do to another!
I would kick him out, but allow him to come over for christmas...But you have to do what YOU feel is right. No way could I live in the same house, same bed with a man who is dipping it elsewhere!
2006-12-19 12:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the KDIS sake... cause they are the ONLY ones important... I would let it ride and just use this week to kinda prepare yourself. Meaning stash some cash, get prepared.
let the kids enjoy this last holiday with you both together. Just fake it till the 26th.. Dont stay .. he wont stop after the first time, he wasn't truly sorry.
Get out after Christmas.
2006-12-19 12:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was the for the kids sake bullshit.Your second mistake is you stop the divorce. Your children will be fine a little therapy and love from you and him everything will be fine as far as he is concern LET IT GO BOO!!!!!!!!! It's like this if he loves you he would not be with her it sounds to me that he loves the one he with. He wants he cake and he wants to eat it too. Honey they have some disease out here you can't get rid of. Most importantly he is disrespecting you, your marriage, your children and your womanhood.Now in order to love someone you have to first have RESPECT sweetie he does not have that for you.You can't be in love with him because in order to have love the other thing you need is TRUST you don't have that in him because if you did you would not be on his phone catching him talking with this other woman. Girl move on with your life if no for yourself for your kids. You are teaching them the wrong things early in life it's not OK to be a door mat for anybody not even your HUSBAND!! You can do bad by yourself you don't need no help to starve to death GOD BLESS YOU!!! and good luck No you don't wait til after the holidays to put your foot and his butt out. Did he wait til after the holidays to disrespect you and your kids??
2006-12-19 12:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by sun4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is there to enjoy? That guy is sick...having an affair with a woman who is pregnant with somone elses baby and married. I am sorry your soon to ex is such a sick MF. Ask your kids if they would like to leave before or after the Holidays, that is what I would do. Be honest with them and tell them why.
2006-12-19 12:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg. What a bastard! You've got to confront him now. Get him OUT of you life. If you wait your family might seem happy and joyful but you'll know that it's all just a lie and it may look good but it wont feel as such. Get him out and then have a great time with your family and bring the kids to see your parents.
2006-12-19 12:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by diadame_2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're going to dump him anyway, hon. You have no marriage, the guy has betrayed your trust, your Admiration, Respect Passion, and Trust are all gone. Without these four things gone, you have a roommate..... It's just a matter of serving him papers, and getting out. Betrayal is the deal-breaker in a marriage,--- we all know that---- and he sure is a jerk, you know it, and so does he.....he's been thinking too long with his little head. Do what you feel best about doing....It is kinda delicious to know things he doesn't know you know, and then let the hammer drop, tho, isn't it???
2006-12-19 12:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend wait for then end of the holidays? WHat does a holiday or love have to do with it? Did he wait for the holidays to be over to cheat? If anything tell him he has until the holidays are over to get rid of his spare tire or get out!
2006-12-19 12:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Alicia S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋