Her son best friends with my son, both are in third grade. We discovered that he walks home alone, no one is there from 3pm - 5pm with him, and they do not even give him a house key, they just leave the door unlocked.
Today he showed up unannounced at our house, telling me that his mom told him "he had to get out of the house for a couple hours" and did not tell him where she was going or doing. I asked him if he asked when she would be back he was told " it's none of your business".
I let him stay and play for about 4 hours today, but was unable to contact this kid's mom. Finally, his dad came home, and he returned there.
How should I confront his mom, and possibly both parents, about their apparent lack of care & concern for their child, as well as their rudeness in depositing him on anyone they could, without even checking to see where he might be?
2006-12-19 11:57:14 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If your main concern is the child, your best course may not be to confront his parents directly.
It is almost a certainty that if you do confront this boy's parents, they will react in some negative way. Face it--if they cared, they would not behave this way, would they? Confronting antisocial people usually leads to more antisocial behavior. They might retaliate against you in some way. At the very least, I expect they would cut off ties with you, and wouldn't permit any contact between their son and you. That would mean that you would not be able to monitor, assist and be a good influence on him.
The only thing that might work is that the parents be sanctioned. You can contact the child welfare authorities in your area, and tell them what you observe, and leave the rest up to them. There is still some chance the parents will figure out that you made the call, and it is likely that they will react as I've described above. But you will at least be able to play dumb, and you may still have the opportunity to be of help to the child.
People who treat their child as you describe are not rational, are not concerned about what other people think, and are probably not law-abiding in other ways. And so you should keep in mind that appealing to such persons' common sense and human decency are not likely to be of any benefit.
I know this isn't the answer you would prefer, but in my experience as a child-welfare social worker, this is what I've seen. Call the authorities, and hopefully they will be able to improve the situation.
2006-12-19 12:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by chuck 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tread carefully here, child services would probably not get involved, although reported they might check it out and make it worse for the kid. How about approaching her with something like I signed my son up for the boys club or something and he wants your son to join too, that way he would have something to do during that time and it would be constructive, and you are not stepping on toes. She is in the wrong but child services has a lot more to deal with than a child who is unfortunately left alone a couple hours a day. I still wonder what the hell this world is coming too.
2006-12-19 12:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by K~ (AKA Korndog/Girlnut) 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Offer to babysit and help her...go meet her with a cake or something and talk to her about the weather a while. Keep conversation light and maybe she will open up to you and you can talk to her.
I suggest killing her with kindness...that or calling social services but social services are famous for dropping the ball and do an even worse job of taking care of children than this mother does...social services can put children in horrific foster home situations or take no action at all until the child is killed by their own parent's neglect.
See if you can't get throught to this mother yourself...be nice to her. Its true she may be dealing drugs or something but the law isn't likely to do much about it right away. Do your best to take care of that boy...he will remember you always and you can change a life. Go ahead and be someones hero!
2006-12-19 12:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is vey difficult to answer...I'm a school bus driver and when I work with these type of people it doesn't do any good to say anything...They just get defensive and don't hear anything u say...You either have to stick with this child and help him or tell his parents he can't come over when their not home.Otherwise they will stick him with u as often as u let them... I say since he is your sons friend then let him stick around and help him with what is right and wrong. I know your thinking this isn't your job but it looks like maybe the man upstairs wants it to be. Good luck
2006-12-19 12:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and that i are dealing with very very nearly the comparable element. an intensive relatives pal of ours has a 2 365 days previous daughter and he or she isn't living in an exceedingly sturdy environment, a million br, and 3 adults, the baby became drowsing on the floor. the individuals smoke weed all day and nighttime infront of the baby. properly we butted in and the mummy is having us shield the baby until she has sufficient money to get an apt of her very own. this mom does love her daughter and could in no way abandon her. we spoke to an attourney and our preist approximately it. They counseled us to fill out a short lived guardianship style and function it notorized for 2 reasons, for us to have the flexibility to sign scientific care if an emergency, and it states until the mummy is recent. and that way if dcf does get in touch they'll see that she is doing the main surprising element by ability of no longer having the baby in that environment and protecting the main extreme element approximately all of this.... healthcare emergencies And as for the guy who mentioned the baby is a baby no longer a automobile with a identify... this is thoroughly out of line. neither people could ever concider this or any baby being an merchandise!!! We in basic terms would desire to be sure those infants are being right cared for!!!!
2016-12-11 12:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try approaching the father and ask him about the unlocked door, the mother is unstable and would just find someone else to baby sit her child for free without their consent. Tell the father you are concerned for his son's safety and you have a son his age also and would not want anything to happen to him.
2006-12-19 12:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow, I feel sorry for this child, can you imagine how he must feel? I would get in touch with social services if this continues. It's not safe for a child to be home alone now days.
good luck and thanks for being a concerned adult and parent
2006-12-19 12:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't. The next call you should make should be to either the police (who can make a referral to a child protective services agency) or to the agency itself. These parents won't change.
2006-12-19 12:00:31 · answer #8 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i dont think you should confront his mom... i think you should report the neglect to social services... it would be alot safer that way and the parents would probably not know it was you reporting....you wouldnt have to worry about your son losing a friend either...
2006-12-19 12:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should contact child services in your area, it'll be in the government pages of your local phone book.
2006-12-19 11:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋