We have been together for 3.5 years and he refuses to pick up after himself. I work 2 jobs in addition to caring for our 2 yr old and am WORN OUT! This is our only problem, so please. No "dump him" letters.
2006-12-19 11:35:28 · 28 answers · asked by daisyjzmum 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi well this situation sounds familiar! my husband always conveniently forgot to pick up after himself which understandably drove me crazy and was setting a bad example for our son who is 6yrs old. i found a large box and if he did not put his clothes in the hamper i would place them in the box if he left anything lying around (e.g. papers,shoes,clothes,keys,food) i would place them all inside his special box which i labelled with his name *John Doe. lazy box! and placed it on the deck which as you can imagine is quite embarrassing for him i also went that mile extra and took the shame factor to the extreme by taking pictures of his unclean habits and posting them to family friends and neighbors which made for interesting conversations for him when visitors come over at first he did not care but eventually he ran out of clean clothes and as i refused to wash his clothes he magically discovered how to use the washing machine and the clothes started to magically appear in the laundry hamper i told my husband that if he did not pick up after himself i would not clean up after him again at the time i was 7months pregnant working evening shifts caring for my 6yr old and maintaining a stable home 4months on we have a beautiful daughter and my house is in tip top condition we have the odd days of untidiness but this time it is my son and not my husband and i am so grateful
2006-12-19 12:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you might have a problem if he was always like this because you cannot change a person. That said, you can express how it makes you feel when he doesn't pick up after himself and hope that he cares. Anything that doesn't sound like nagging would be good. My wife and I have had arguments about things like this. When we actually sit down and talk about why she is so mad about me forgetting to take out the trash or some other trivial thing that seems like no big deal to me, and she explains how it makes her feel unappreciated, the picture becomes more clear to me and I am then happy to do what I can to help. Because I know that she is the type who feels loved by my random little acts, especially if she doesn't have to ask. So try explaining it to him in simple, plain words that a man can understand and hope that he listens. Otherwise, get over it, that is how he is and how he always will be, don't try to change him.
2006-12-19 11:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by micah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you have 2 two year old in the house! Well as for the adult 2year old I say tell him you needs to clean up Stop buying food until he starts cleaning up Does he have a job? If so he needs to hire a maid if he does not have a job then that's his kick in clean up if he doesn't want to clean up or hire some one to clean up then I GUESS YOU WILL !!!!! Seeing as you don't want to hear kick him to the curb! Me myself I can't stand dirt in my house my husband is a slob but he's a contained slob.His dirt is contained to the bedroom. He pays all of the bills and I still say stay out of my living room bathroom and kitchen!! The family room is fair game the kids maintain that!!!! So you make the choice. Try containing the dirt to a room like the family room or the bedroom I know the baby makes a big enough mess Good luck hope this helps
2006-12-19 11:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by sun4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try something like this:
An example: My hubby likes to breakfast at his desk. You cannot imagine the desk beneath the piles of junk. I told him if he cleaned it up, I would serve him there. He did and I do. I also added, "You're breakfast my king!" with a curtsy. I just can't get over how organized his desk has become.
Another example: He has a bad habit of leaving his under shorts where he took them off. So annoying!!! I quit washing his undies. At first this experiment seemed to backfire, he kind of liked the feeling of running around commando. One morning I discovered his undies in the laundry hamper and noticed baby powder on the counter in the bathroom. I have still have to repeat this lesson as needed and am working on a cure for baby powder on the counter.
Raising our man really can be a lot of work and it takes pure tlc and patience but it is very well worth the effort.
Peace :)
2006-12-19 12:02:56 · answer #4 · answered by rezany 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i ought to understand element of her difficulty if she is a operating spouse. If she is a stay at residing house spouse there is not any excuse for operating a grimy loved ones. possibly she thinks all you basically sit down round and do not some thing to assist so why might want to she. My granddaughter replaced right into a slob also as she would drop issues interior the midst of the floor, go away a huge mess to freshen up and and so on. i'd %. up her issues and throw them interior the garbage. at the same time as she requested the position such & such replaced into, i'd tell her interior the garbage considering she threw it down or left a mess. It broke her habit quick.
2016-11-30 23:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should just "Go on Strike". Why should he "pick up after himself" if he KNOWS that you are going to do it for him? Maybe you should just let things (all things...dishes, laundry, clothes on the floor, trash) pile up and see how long it will go before you find "his" pain threshold...where even he can't take it anymore. Why not...what have you got to lose. Or maybe suggest that he hires a maid for you. Really though, he needs to step up to the plate & be a real man and do the right thing.
2006-12-19 11:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by punchie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I did...
I stopped doing it all. You need to continue to ask him for help but don't assume that he knows you need or want help. Men are not mind readers like us ladies so be clear with him. Try giving him a few small things to do and let him know that it would help you out alot. Also remember to show appreciation because he will like the positive reaction and therefore he should continue with out constantly being asked...good luck.
2006-12-19 11:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by Love2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually DON'T dump him! If you do you will be upset and he won't change. You need to talk to him about his behaviour. Compromise and reward. Sounds funny but you need to start treating him like a child. You need to train him to help you out. He does something for you, you reward him. If he won't change then you might have to consider moving out, just for a while, until he realises how big of a job he expects you to do.
2006-12-19 12:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Jono H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, if it is something simple like clutter or clothes, leave them on his side of the bed, or talk to him about how hard you work and explain that you want him to help you clean. I am sure that after 3.5 years, he would be understanding to your plight in this situation.
2006-12-19 11:37:39 · answer #9 · answered by snookums 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, that is a tough one. My hubby never picks up his clothes! I have wined and cried and begged, but he doesn't do it. I end up doing it myself, because frankly it's less energy. Did he used to help you clean before? Honestly, you cannot make anyone do anything they don't want to do. Ask him nicely, to me, seems like the only way. Sorry for the cheesy answer.
2006-12-19 11:40:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋