I am a single parent and pay $1200/month for rent. I am a nurse. I am having a lot of trouble paying my bills and keeping up with all the other things (such as food and entertainment). My sister has asked me to move in with her until I can catch up on bills, but my 14 year old son is dead set against it. Is there any way to persuade him to change his mind? I know that moving is hard, but I have no family near me (besides him) and he is stuck at home while I work as many hours as possible to make ends meet. Any suggestions?
2006-12-19 11:01:43 · 18 answers · asked by stuartsmom1 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I swear some people on here are dumb such as the idiots saying youare the parent and it is your choice, honestly to those saying that shut up, you obviously know nothing about what it is like for a kid to move.
It is really hard on your son to move, it is hard on any child. They are leaving there friends behind and the place they know as home and being a teenager it is real difficult because he is going threw so many changes like growing from a kid to a young man.
Does your sister have any kids around your sons age or will he have his own room?? I can see if he is against it becuase he will not have his own room, that is totally understandable....
What you need to do is sit down and talk to your son about your situation. Try to explain to him that you are working so much to try and pay bills and take care of you both but just can not do it any longer and tell him good things such like moving in with your ssiter will be good because you will have less bills to pay so you will not have to work as much and will have more time to spend with him and when your not around he will have your sister...You should talk to your sister about boys around her neighborhood who are the same age as him, see if she knows anyone who has kids his age and introduce him to them.
Moving is going to be hard for your son and after you move in he will be a little down and may seem a little depressed and that is very normal for any child who has just moved but the best thing to do is give him space and let him get use to the change, try to keep his head up. Once he starts school he will make new friends but do not expect him to become happy straight away, it is going to take time.
2006-12-19 12:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 3⤊ 4⤋
He is the child and YOU are the adult! HE knows nothing of the real world or what it's like to be an adult and have to deal with work and balancing life, finance and everything else. Teens as well as kids are resilient. He'll be pissy and quite an P. I.A. but you are doing the best thing for him and sooner or later he'll know that! Just go where it will be esier for the both of you and if he dosen't get that it that's too bad! Make sure he has all the numbers and mail addresses for all his friends and tell him that while he is making new friends he can talk to his old ones. Do what is the best for the both of you! Not what he thinks he wants. Good luck! Bye.
2006-12-19 11:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by mistyfan69 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you're the parent, he's the child. it's your decision, not his. he needs to get over it and understand that either he moves, or you end up homeless and have to move anyhow. might as well keep your credit somewhat good by not letting everything get any further behind. you're his mother, lay down the law. when i was 15, we had to move and i was dead set against it, but you know what? we moved. i had a say, and i was overruled. you overule him in all decisions. if his vote counts for one, yours counts for two. is he paying any rent? is he paying any bills? no? then he has no say as to where you live. be it here, alaska, anarctica, south america, africa, england, or anywhere else.
and you know what? i was actually happier after we moved when i was a teenager. sure, it was hard leaving my friends behind, but i made new ones. and i wasn't one of those pretty, little cheerleader types who make freinds easily. i was more of the shy type, and never made freinds easily, but i did it successfully. so i DO know what it's like, and i still say that it's YOUR decision.
2006-12-19 12:52:50 · answer #3 · answered by Mommyof4 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is FOURTEEN. It's not up to him.
This is what is going to happen. You're going to move, he's going to be crappy about it for a couple of weeks, and then he'll make a few new friends and he'll start to get over it.
He just doesn't want to change his life right now, but he doesn't understand the wonderful world of bills, yet.
Why don't you sit him down and show him the check book vs. the bills coming in. Make sure that you add all of your expenses for groceries, things that he enjoys, and clothing. If he sees it on paper in front of him, he's going to realize that he (and you) don't have a choice in the matter.
Who knows? He may even be supportive if he understands the situation.
2006-12-19 11:22:19 · answer #4 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
While I can understand your son's reluctants with moving but explain to him that financially it would be best and let him know that you would be happy to have his friends over occassionally. I believe it to be his fear of losing his friends and having to make new ones. He could find it easier if you allowed him to visit his friends in the old neighborhood sometimes so he don't feel so distant. In comprimise it's a give and take situation but if that fails your the parent and if he resists just do it he will adapt.
2006-12-19 12:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can be the parent anyone likes and consider what he goes through: make new friends
get used to new school
and then u can try moving into a house near u as in he goes to the same school
or be the parent he will hate till he dies and she "TOUGH FUC*IN LUCK u dont work and until u do find a d*mn job tht can help me pay bills then u move wen the f*ck i want to so get used to it"
2006-12-19 11:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you will stay if he goes get a job too to help you pay the bills which he is not old enough.
2006-12-19 13:39:07 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Natasha♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is rebelling at the way you are raising him up. He is resenting something about you.
You are gonna have to ask him straight and tell him you want a straight answer back on why he does not want to move. BE REAL and expect a REAL answer. NOTHING ELSE!
Then work on the solution. The kind of easy part now.
2006-12-19 11:46:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't have a choice. This is a life learned lesson. In life there are a lot of things that he may not like,but he will have to accept them.
He may be dead set against it because he has freedom whileyou are out slaving away at work. He needs someone to watch over him to make sure he is doing what he suppose to be doing.
2006-12-19 11:06:23 · answer #9 · answered by JadedEzzence 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just move. He'll deal. He doesn't pay the bills, so he doesn't make the decisions. It's nice that you ask him for his input, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and I know you'll try and make it as pleasant for him as possible.
2006-12-19 11:04:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋