My wife is a compulsive spender, divorce and bankruptcy are coming soon - does it matter which comes first?

Question

My wife is a compulsive spender and has driven us near bankruptcy. Because she refuses to acknowledge it or get help, I am probably going to have to declare bankruptcy in the next few months, and probably will also file for divorce. We have 2 kids and live in Georgia.

From a financial and legal aspect, does it matter which action I take first? I will be filing for custody of both kids. One is 15, the other is 12. My wife, due to the compulsive spending and other emotional issues, is incapable of taking care of them. She has not held a job since our first child was born, though she has been offered a number of positions.

I don't want to take either action, but she really leaves me no choice. Any suggestions or perspectives from people who have been through this are appreciated.

Answer 1

As you probably are aware, the bankruptcy laws underwent a major revision recently. Under the old laws it almost always made more financial sense for a couple to go through bankruptcy first and then file for divorce. It may still be the same.
Look at it this way - in a divorce you can allocate debts to each person. For example she get the Sears debt you get the JC Penny debt. However, Sears doesn't care about the divorce and if she doesn't pay they can still come after you! Then the only thing you can do is to bring her back into court for contempt of the divorce judgment. Believe me this is a very messy way to deal with all of this.
Please make a short appointment with a bankruptcy attorney (a divorce attorney will just send you to one anyways!)

Answer 2

In your case this site can be very helpful QUOTESDEAL.NET-

RE My wife is a compulsive spender, divorce and bankruptcy are coming soon - does it matter which comes first?

My wife is a compulsive spender and has driven us near bankruptcy. Because she refuses to acknowledge it or get help, I am probably going to have to declare bankruptcy in the next few months, and probably will also file for divorce. We have 2 kids and live in Georgia.

From a financial and legal aspect, does it matter which action I take first? I will be filing for custody of both kids. One is 15, the other is 12. My wife, due to the compulsive spending and other emotional issues, is incapable of taking care of them. She has not held a job since our first child was born, though she has been offered a number of positions.

I don't want to take either action, but she really leaves me no choice. Any suggestions or perspectives from people who have been through this are appreciated.

Answer 3

Oh you poor thing! First since she does not have a job close the joint accounts then open up accounts with just you as the owner. Then you give her an allowance per week. Since she's a big spender cut the credit cards up remove her as an user. Then change the credit card numbers because she will still be able to shop on line if you don't Then you give her a choice you want to shop get a job! You beening the man in this story you pay the mortgage and the utility bills when necessary do the shopping for the boys let her continue to buy food. Cut out the extras!!!!

Answer 4

Take your wife with you to file for bankruptcy ... let her know just what is going on and how it will effect both her and HER children . Give her the names of places where she can go stay and tell her then you will be applying for a divorce due to these issues

give her a time limit to get her act back together ..

if she doesn't then divorce her .. the children are your main concern right now ...

Best of luck to you and the children

Answer 5

First of allI would take all opf her credit cards and cut them up I would also take her off of your savings and chequing account take the brunt of paying the bills and watching the finances give her an allowance if thats what it takes. Talk to her most women do this because they may feel neglected or depressed and do this to cheer themselves up i would get her to talk to a therapist this is destroying everything around her and until you sit her down and tell her that you cant deal with this anymore you should
stick with it it is only money can you really leave the lkove of your life and the mother of your children your vows state in sickness and in health, cherish, and through good times and bad do not use money as an issue for divorce if you do your a fool. If you knew she was like this when you got together then why did you marry her you need to cut her off of the money that is the only way she may change her ways tell your banks she is not allowed to withdraw funds at anytime and give them a picture for reference you are not controlling her you are trying to save your family. God Bless and Good Luck.

Answer 6

It sounds like your wife has a serious mental health issue. If you love her at all you would insist that she go for counseling to address the emotional issues that are leading her to spend compulsively to begin with. I would suggest that you arrange for marriage counseling. Lay it on the line for her. Tell her that you love her and you want to save the marriage but she needs to get counseling. Unless she does so you will have no alternative but to file for bankruptcy and start the paperwork for a divorce.

You need to remember that when people are mentally ill they aren't always willing to acknowledge they are sick. Chances are she knows it but she is in denial.

I have OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder and I also have a tendency to spend in excess when I am under alot of stress or when I feel neglected by my husband. Sometimes I have felt like having more "things" will make up for the emptiness I feel inside of myself. It never works though and I continue to do it over and over again. I collect things so I guess you would say I hoard things, a form of OCD so my shopping is OCD related in my case. Other people who are severely depressed or have emotional issues will do the same kind of things though to attempt to fill a void.

I hope you can get her some help for her sake, yours and your kids' sake. Good luck...

Answer 7

i'm particular that contained in the start she did not exhibit any style of habit that could make you've self belief that she develop into in it for funds or love. You married her for all the right motives yet you not in any respect stated in case you felt like those issues she stated are real. were u rather paying too a lot interest on your household and not in any respect to her, did you adult men rather have funds complications. If this develop into an difficulty then perchance in her subculture she is familiar with otherwise. My suggestion to you is to easily enable her flow and count number your losses. That way you go away with a sparkling experience of precise and incorrect understanding that you probably did each and everything that a husband develop into meant to do. What case do you've in case you strive against. If an american passport is what she particularly needed then she has already received. And by technique of the regulation of marriage till there's a prenup the resources are to be shared in 1/2.

Answer 8

If you can prevent bankruptcy, do anything you can to do so. File for divorce, then look at how you can reorder your finances to take care of your existing debt. Any new debt will be her problem. Why ruin the rest of your financial life because of her problems? Get out and protect yourself and your kids. Good luck!

Answer 9

If you have tried everything you can then definately divorce because in most states the bills will be split down the middle and you will be able to take care of things not having her around to spend all the money. If she can't handle paying the bills and she won't because she has no job then let her deal with having a bankrupcy on her record. There is no reason you should have to deal with it on your record if you can avoid it.

Answer 10

File for the divorce before you run out of money.