I kinda am thinking that holding out untill marrage is just a way of making him marry you, he wants the goods and he loves you but the only way he can get the goods is if he marries you who says that means he loves you more or less, the only difference in reality is that you file taxes different and your credit will fluxuate.
2006-12-19 10:53:05 · 43 answers · asked by missthang 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People who see sex as a natural part of a healthy adult relationship don't have the need or the moral imperative to "wait until marriage". In t he past, it was probably wise to wait til marriage because of the complications that an out-of-wedlock child could bring into one's life. Nowadays, with the freedom we have to make our choices (including reproductive choices), it is less critical to follow the old dogma that may have made sense 500 years ago. For some people, it still carries a symbolical meaning, and that's fine. But for the most part, sex is now viewed as an integral part of social relations.
It never occured to me personally to be "holding out" til marriage, sex has never been a big deal in and of itself, I've always felt it was just one more means to connect with another person - along with conversation, sharing hobbies, having good times together, and the like. From my perspective, it would be kind of like saying - I'm going to spend time with this person and share my life with them, but I'm not going to talk to them at all until we get married. I mean, lets face it - sex can be "meaningless"; but a conversation can be too. It is up to each one of us to make these things as meaningful as we'd like them to be - which doesn't necessarily mean foregoing them altogether.
2006-12-19 11:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe in waiting until marriage for many different reasons.
1) Marriage is based on trust, and when you aren't married, the relationship is more built on lust, and guys will say ANYTHING to get in bed with you. This means they will lie to you about who they have been with, and things like that.
2) Sexually transmitted diseases. Since a lot of people lie about where they are and what they've done before, it is really easy to get allured by a liar and then find yourself a) pregnant, or b) with a sexually transmitted disease.
3) If you get pregnant, typically the guy just runs off and leaves you with the responsibility.
4) Some sexually transmitted diseases are incurable and are for life, and once you have one, you will transmit it to anyone else who is a partner of yours.
5) I thought I would also address this thought. "Sex is okay, as long as you use condoms." Not exactly. Sure, it's safer, but you can't be 100% safe from STDs and pregnancy unless you totally abstain from sex.
6) It's morally unethical, according to the Bible.
In conclusion, there are plenty of reasons to wait until married. It's just not worth the risk. Even if you walk away from sex without any repurcussions, you will still feel guilty and will have what if? thoughts running through your head.
2006-12-19 10:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, thats a very good question. I didn't concern myself with that the first time i was married. She has passed away, and I am now looking to get into a new relationship, hopefully even remarried someday..... I think sex is a personal decision, but I believe it should at least be between 2 people that care about each other. Otherwise it's meaningless. And remember, there is more to life than exchanging body fluids...
2006-12-19 11:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you believe in being legally bound to another person (sounds a bit like slavery, doesn't it?), only prudish religious fanatics believe in abstinence-until-marriage.
Real commitment requires no official approval, from either the government or the church. If you truly love someone, don't get married; therefore the issue of no sex before marriage should be moot-- if two people are in love, there is no reason for them to refrain from having a relationship, and that can include sex.
It's past time for us to grow up and face the fact that sex is not "dirty", that it's a natural part of life and a normal part of romantic love. It's time for us to grow up and stop seeking approval from god or the State, too.
2006-12-19 11:07:16 · answer #4 · answered by Shadetreader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think you should have to married to have sex. It would be nice But when you truly love someone.. just make love to them .. you shouldn't let any traditions or rules hold you back. Do what makes the both of you happy. Sex is also a way for both of you to get the feel for one another and enter that comfort zone and thats a good thing to establish before marriage.
2006-12-19 11:00:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes alot of people I'm not sure on the before mariage scenario but I know alot of people hold on for the one they will marry and
give up to them. I think it is good and strong for a relationship to
build a friendship and a bond before sex. Thats what my wife and I did. But it is also sometimes in this day and age to see if you physically attracted to one and another and if the chemistry is there without the clothes on. But I do believe having children out of wed lock should be avoided at all costs.
2006-12-19 13:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. My best friend, companion, and more or less S/O is doing just that, and I think it's great. She has the will to resist those feelings and emotions until the right time, i.e. marriage. It has advantages, too. As an artist her work is definitely enhanced and more focused. Now, there are many of you who think that women who choose to retain their virginity aren't beautiful, think again. my lady friend is a real hottie! One of the prettiest and attractive women I have ever seen. So, it is also one of the things I admire most about her. If a lady wants to wait, and you can respect that unequivocally, she'll appreciate you all the more, too.
2006-12-19 11:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by The Mystic One 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had waited until marriage to have sex. Sex has hurt me more times then I wish to count. I wish I had never had sex with some one I didn't love. It was fun but so intimate and its not something you should share casually because the consequences are not casual. You shouldn't sleep with some one if you don't know if they want to be a parent, if they have an STD, if you want to spend the rest of your life with them, etc. God designed sex to be a form of bonding in marriage to bring you closer to each other and I so wish I had done want God told me to do and wait until I got married because I could have prevented a lot of pain. But don't use sex as a weapon to get a guy to marry you. With hold sex until marriage because its the best decision for you. I will pray for you and I hope that I have helped.
2006-12-19 11:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't that REALLY a decision to be made by each individual couple? It didn't hurt us one bit; we've been happily married for 36 years.
If you're really in love with someone, having sex is certainly a consideration at some point, whether married or not.
And being abstinent UNTIL marriage is no guarantee of anything.
2006-12-19 11:19:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holding out is a good guide to whether someone is sincere but until marriage went out since 1948 this is a new era things have changed sex is not the key to marriage but it is an important part holding out should not me a motive but information for direction
2006-12-19 11:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by Richard e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋