how to grieve?

Question

Lately over the past week i have been very upset,for one obvious reason,my granddad died (who i was very,very close with) last year 2005 on the 1st december
i'v suddenly had lots of upsetting dreams ,i wake up crying,a week after my grandda sdied i had a very vivid dream with him in it,standing out side his house (that he has now) in his navy suit (he was in the navy) standing there on the other side of the road standing like he was in his navy portrait but he had blonde hair he was young again (i never knew he had blonde hair as a young man) my father told me this fact ,becuase i have never seen him in his young age,after my dream
i dont know what to do,i cant talk to my perents becuase they would just think i am looking for attension ,
i cant stop thinking about him, Talking to my perents is ruled out i need to sort this out on my own i dont want to speak to help lines
please any suggestion how do i get over such lost grief

Answer 1

Katie,

Your grandfather is sending you messages from the other side to comfort you and let you know he is still with you. He's fine! The other side is much better than here. Pay close attetion to the dreams. He's showing you things he wants you to know about him!

You are blessed to have this second-sight. Do not be afraid. He's still your grandfather and loves you. This is just his way of coming through to you and letting you know that all is well with him.

When you realize that, your grief will lessen.

May the Creator bless you!

Answer 2

You don't stop grieving. It does dull but it never goes away.
My mema passed away on Jan 1. Around that time of year I always get depressed. Some times I don't know what is wrong with me but I always understand when I look at the calendar. Go put flowers on his grave on his death date. I do that every year. If you can't take a moment of your day and talk to him out loud. Do it in your room or outside or in the park.
Remember you are not alone. Everyone grieves in different ways. Some people seem to just forget. Others seem to cry it all out. But others like ourselves just need time. Time to remember and time to miss.
Love doesn't just stop. Remember the good and the funny.
It has been 3 years for me and I still miss her like it was the day she died. But it has dulled. (dulled is the only word I can think that fits) It didn't go away but I can handle it now. You can too.
They wouldn't want you to be so upset. They would want you to live a happy life.
Remember that it is normal to be sad and miss them.

Answer 3

Talking things through is the best way to not only grieve, but heal at the same time. Talk with a good friend and share the great memories of your grandfather with them.

Dreams do tell a lot, and I do not doubt that they have some subliminal meaning.

Either way, I think that you should not fear these dreams, but try to better understand them. It sounds like you have done that, for the most part.

Good luck.

Answer 4

greiving is very personal to the person suffering its condition - the pain never goes away - just gets duller with time, only to burst open red, raw and angry after something triggers a past memory. Just remember greiving is normal - my son was identified with heart problem, and as a consequence only lived for four and half days after he was born - its only been two years and two months (and we have been trying for a chid for the last seven years - makes it the more bitter for us) , but i remember the four and half days as if it were still yesterday, when I'm feeling really depressed i might even break down into tears - it sounds really stupid - im a big bear of a man, but i huddle in my room by myself and a picture of my son and bawl my eyes out . . and i loved him to bits even though we only had but a number of days together - and some days it hurts so much i can barely breathe, but know this the pain will *never* go, it is your minds mechanism to remember someone you may dearly love or miss, but you *will* be able to manage it better with time. Time is a great healer . . .

Answer 5

There is no exact answer to this question. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. Some handle it better than others. Even years after someone has gone you can suddenly feel like crying and can't stop thinking about them. If you want to talk about find a friend who will listen, it doesn't even have to be someone who knew your grandad. Death is part of life. Everyone loses someone who they love. Remember that you are not alone.

Answer 6

The human soul is weird. I can imagine that his death didn't hit you until just now, because with people it takes a while to realize what has happened. I understand that all of your greiving has came at once. You need to just let the dreams and your tears go. Once they are out you will feel better. Until then, anytime you dream about him or cry for him don't stop yourself; just let them come and they will go in due time.

Another reason may be because he misses you. His spirit may be watching over you and then he comes to mind. I'm sure he loved you and you loved him. Don't let your love fade, but realize that what has happened happened.

The human soul is weird. Your not the only one to feel this type of grieving.

Best of Luck.

--bowski--

Answer 7

I lost my granny when i was 10 I'm now 27 and i still grieve especially at important times in my life like when i got married or had my kids i take comfort in attending her grave every week or two and having a chat to her when i miss her mos,t you never forget but it does become more bearable

Answer 8

its coming up to a special time when yo will miss the important people in your life who aren't here, but you know he wouldn't want you to be sad you have to carry on for him, maybe go and visit his grave with some flowers and a card and wish him happy Christmas, if it is really getting you down then go and see your doctor he may organise some sort of grieving counciling for you, and there are always spiritualist churches as well where if you are lucky you will get to hear from him...

Answer 9

loved ones are supposed to visit you in dreams. your granddad was just coming to show you how he looks now and that hes happy, say a little prayer for him and its natural to grieve especially with his anniversary here, have a little cry and let it all out, try to talk to some one about how you feel, maybe visit his grave or have a photo of him near your bed,will take a while , but slowly you will feel better

Answer 10

You say that you do not want to speak to help lines but (as you are plainly struggling on your own) you need to speak to SOMEBODY.
Why not ring your local Salvation Army The 0fficers are likely to be a husband and wife team who have some experience oif similar situations to yours.