My fiancee says Tell Him....
My ex-husband told me if he ever sees us together or finds out he'll
get crazy... U know ... nuts. Like Do somethin...What I don't know. I'm crazy in-love with my fiancee. My ex-husband and
I are friends and also have a teenage son we share custody of.
I care about my ex-husbands feelings. Im not romantic with my ex-husband of course. We were married 11 years thats over. What to do? Cause I want to be open about my engagement At the same time I don't want the drama. U know...?
2006-12-19 10:46:50 · 14 answers · asked by jane m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Gosh well first of all your ex has to grow up! He has to realize that whatever you two had is way over and it didnt work out obviously because you got divorced. If he cares about your son he should be happy to know that you're very happy and in love with someone new. By you being happy in some way that means your son well be better off. He should be happy for you. How long ago did you divorce? If it wasnt too long ago and he didnt really want the divorce i can understand the way he feels. However, you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk. You cant hide your engagement. Tell him that if he really cares about you he should be happy for you just as you would be if he was in your situation. I dont really think he'll go and do something i think its just something he says. Hope I helped. Happy Holidays.
2006-12-19 10:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by LD82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey . . . this is not good. ANY time a man (or a woman) stays out all night and won't tell you where they've been it is very, very obvious what they are up to. I don't know about you but I would be hurt to the brink of insanity at this point. I am not one to cheer on the side of divorce but the honest truth is that marriage is tough enough when both people are in it 100% and it sounds like your husband isn't even almost in it 100%. You can't carry this thing on your own and if he is calling this a mistake and is all full of regret, wanting after another woman he had previously committed to? AND he is pushing you away, acting angry and refusing to seek counsel? You have a serious set of issues on your hands and you need to consider making an exit. You need to really think about whether you are willing to put up with an unfaithful, unhappy man for the rest of your life or at least until he gets the nerve to leave you. Staying with someone for the child is not always right either, especially if they are being exposed to conflict and anger between the two of you. How do you know he would get custody? Is that a legal, proven fact? I don't mean to sound pessimistic but it's hard enough to fix this kind of thing when both parties are committed and I just don't want to try to sugar coat.
2016-05-22 22:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by Ardis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw your ex husband and what he threatens to do. If you are really afraid of anything and that he may harm someone, be prepared to get a restraining order. I believe that he does have the right to know you are planning on marrying this other guy, since you both share a child and this decision will affect your child. But do not care about what your ex thinks, this is your life and he should have no say in how you live it.
2006-12-19 10:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by mydds07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-husband is just that, the ex. He has no say so in your life now. Sounds like he still has feelings for you. Does your son know that you are engaged? He would probably tell his dad just by mentioning it in passing. I never told me ex husband about anything that I was doing pertaining to being engaged or getting married. I told my son and then the told his dad. He dad did congratulate me once he found out but I didn't feel that I had to report to him.
2006-12-19 10:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your ex are over, period. You and your fiance are now and what you two do is your business. Your ex is about to find out one way or another so why not from you. He threatens to go nuts but he gave you up and has no more ties to you, but out of what you two did have let him know. He will be alright.Its better to be honest up front as it may just well prevent future problems. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-19 10:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, being that you share a child, your ex is going to find out sooner or later. I would tell him now, and deal with the drama now, rather than down the road. I betcha most of the stuff he says is just hot air. He'll get over it; don't let him intimidate you.
2006-12-19 10:53:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex husband needs to find other personal business to take care of instead of poking his nose in yours.
Period.
Tell him if he continues to pry into your personal activities, which include dating someone whom you care for... If he threatens one more time about you seeing someone... That you'll go directly to the police and report him for harrassment.
Have contact information on-hand from two or three police officers (not just a 911 phone number) and dare him to make one comment... And you'll report him!
In two weeks if he opens his trap at all... Call the police and establish an order for protection against him.
It is not your obligation to tell him you're getting married!
Nor is it his obligation to pry it out of your son either.
Comprende?
2006-12-19 11:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there has to be a reason why your ex husband does not like your Fiancee so ask him, it you knew you might be able to do something about it.
2006-12-19 11:53:41 · answer #8 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want the drama, then don't cause it. Tell him when and if you marry, and make it short and sweet. Otherwise, you come off as a tease, a drama queen, etc., because you already know it will punch his buttons, hon.
2006-12-19 10:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's going to find out sooner or later, and it's probably better coming from you than on the grapevine.
2006-12-19 10:49:54 · answer #10 · answered by helly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋