And he has told me to shut the F up a couple of time. He says sorry, but I have a hard time forgiving over and over again. What can I, he or we do to save our relationship. We have a baby together and he is mostly wonderful. I just can't deal with the rages. He has admitted that his mum used to rage at him when he was a kid. Can we change this pattern and heal our relationship. Please help..
2006-12-19 10:28:14 · 22 answers · asked by ann b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a we situation. There is nothing you can do as a individual. His mother used to do this, fine and dandy but this is a excuse.
If both of you want to change it is hard but the two of you can do this, if both of you work on it...There is no I in We.
Get some professional help, he sounds as if he has issues. Get these addressed and out in the open. Guarantee there is more to the story then what he has told you thus far....
Like a plant who's roots have been damaged that we can not see, the leafs will show the damage and we can see them...
2006-12-19 10:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-06 01:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that he is simply acting out repressed emotions of pain and frustration from the childhood. He could also have a problem with rage which needs to be addressed. I recommend that you too go through therapy together and deal with this thing. After all, you owe to yourselves to equip your relationship and home with the best
living conditions that you can otherwise disaster will meet you soon enough down the line. Don't put it off.
Sincerely,
Mr. M on "verbally abusive."
2006-12-19 10:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
The verbal abuse will only get worse with time. Any type of abuse has no place in the relationship or a home with a child in it. Try getting counseling for him and the relationship. In counseling he can learn to deal with his anger and other issues. Take care and happy holidays.
2006-12-19 10:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by ppv918 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful with that. Verbal abusive can turn into physical abuse rather quickly. Maybe he can get counseling to help him deal with the rage he is experiencing.
2006-12-19 11:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by Thunderman9 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a counselor if will will agree. It really works. But you need to talk to him about how it makes you feel. If he is like me he will be to hard headed to understand. so you will probably need to leave him for a while. this usually makes us think about things and try to put our selves in our womans shoes. Don't give up though. I am sure he does not do it on purpose. and he probably really loves you. some of us just have issues and we do not know how to deal with them. He is porbably really young and usually when we mature we get better with our anger problems. But keep telling him how you feel and try to understand what makes him mad. Show him that he does not need to be a jerk for you to understand him. Maybe he feels like you are not listening to him. mybe he just wants to tell you his problems but does not know how. I'm the same way but I am getting better.
2006-12-19 10:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by JV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think anyone can change if they want to but he has to want to. Tell him to see a doctor, he may need some counseling and possibly medication to prevent him from having outbursts. Just keep in mind you are responsible for making sure you are safe and your child is safe. Do what is necessary to make sure that happens. If he doesn't change then you don't have a choice but to go.
2006-12-19 10:39:38 · answer #7 · answered by Angee D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he needs to seek some kind of class that discusses abusiveness. it doesnt classify him as a bad person to attend those classes, it will just better him
he can also seek psychiatric help to help him deal with his past problems which are affecting his current lifestyle.
there isnt anything you can do for him except to let him know when he is getting out of line and that he is hurting you mentally. you should let him know that you cant take it much longer and that he needs help.
dont let this continue and have it affect your child.
2006-12-19 10:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see a counselor... if not then leave him. They guy that I just left, he was verbally abusive, we have a 4 year old... she HATES him! I try to make them like eachother but.. I can't force her to like someone that she's scared of. You don't want that for you kid. Plus they can grow up and think that's OK.
2006-12-19 11:20:17 · answer #9 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First tell him that this hurts you and how much it bothers your to forget it. Then if he still doesnt make an adjustment then tell him he has a problem and he needs to go to anger management and learn how to respect you if he loves you. If this doesnt help leave him... There are millions of trillions of men who will respect you the way you respect them.. Never settle... try and try to make it work but tell him to hit the road if he doesnt do anything about it
2006-12-19 10:32:05 · answer #10 · answered by Mily1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋