I was recenlt married in October and ever since I got married my best friend has been getting bent out of shape. Things have been busy for me and my husband we are in a new house we moved in a week before we got married and we are comfortable staying home spending our nights after work together doing nothing. My best friend will call me and want me to go shopping with her. I have worked all day and don't really feel like shopping. When I tell her know she will call me the next day and ask agian. I agian will say no I like to shop on the weekends when I have the energy and the money. She gets upset with me and says we never hang out and she knew this would happen when we got married. and gets all deppressred about it. We see each other once a week and I feel that is enough. I love her to death like I said she is my best-friend but sometimes lately for the last few months she has been driving me crazy and I dont want to hurt her. She right now is single and feels that she needs me.
2006-12-19 10:25:20 · 11 answers · asked by BabyDolll128 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Do you think i am wrong for this. I know alot of my problem is I have sesonal effective disorder so I am depressed in the winter and don't feel like doing much at all. The only peron I really enjoy to do alot of things with is my husband. We have been together for 6 years married only a few months. I really don't want to be a bad friend I just can't do it.
2006-12-19 10:27:51 · update #1
just one more thing I would like to add I don't really think she is lonely she has several men that she is dating. That is another part of the reason I think things are kinda off between us. She plays games with these guys one week she really likes the one and then the next day she doesn't meanwhile she is still seeing the guy she has been seeing for 2 years that treats her like crap. Its just non stop drama and I am the one that always has to listen to it. I am not complaining thats what friends do but sometimes I will admit it gets to me
2006-12-19 10:31:57 · update #2
may be she is mad because u dont give attention to her as past
she may be sad because she feel that marriage take u away from her
she is sad because she will not has wonderful time with u as past
she may be sad because she is not married yet
all this factors made her depressed
my advice for u , just give her some attention
2006-12-19 10:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she just went through a big thing as well as you. You guys have always been close and now you can't because weather you admit it or not your husband is becoming your best friend. Look at it from her point of view. Her best friend just got married and nothing will ever be the same. Is she married? If she isn't then maybe she is just lonely and justs turns to you like she would have before you got married. If she's single try hooking her up with someone and go on a double date with her and your husband and slowly she will move away with her own life and you will make her really happy.
2006-12-19 10:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i understand where you're coming from (i've only been married 9 months) i'd rather spend my free time with my hubby than anyone else in the world...but as her best friend perhaps you should give her a little more of your time. if she feels she needs you, then she needs you. of course, i'm not saying spend every night with her. but maybe have longer phone calls a few times a week in addition to hanging out once. she probably feels like she's lost you, which is understandable because in a way she did. but after time, that'll settle down and you'll be okay again. just try to be sensitive to how lonely she probably feels, seeing you happily married while she's single.
2006-12-19 10:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can just about guarantee once she finds herself a man she won't be so clingy! She's lonely and jealous. Why not fix her up with one of your hubbies friends? Otherwise, I agree: Once a week is enough. You're going to just have to tell her "I'll see you on Sat (or whatever day you get together)!" "sorry, I can't. I'm tired and I want to be with "hubby"...see you on Sat." Maybe fit in a phone call before she calls you and say..."see you on Sat." When Sat. comes around and you girls go to lunch just tell her; "Look, I love you. You're my best friend. And I don't want to hurt your feelings. The only time I have recently is work and hubby. So, I don't want you to feel slighted about only meeting once a week. I really look forward to seeing you."...No apologizies. Geeze...find the girl a man!!! godloveya for being a good and sensitive friend. you're right..hubby comes first.
2006-12-19 10:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before everything congratulation,,wish you will lead a good,loving existence with Ur husband. See u love your buddy and that's amazingly good reason pals love and guard the different,,and there is no injury in that. yet to pass away each and every thing in the back of and working after Ur buddy is something no longer suitable,, now u have a clean existence plus a clean duties. i'm useful that Ur buddy will understand quickly that Ur maximum acceptable a thoroughly new existence,, so do no longer sense to blame reason seeing Ur buddy as quickly as a vulnerable is basically too good,and whilst she married she'll understand the entire stuff from being a wake the entire evening :) ur buddy unhappy reason she felt as dropping you ,, yet have faith me each and every thing will exchange quickly.
2016-10-15 06:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make plans ahead of time with her. Call her on a Monday and say lets make plans for Sunday I have a very busy week. She is probably jealous and resentful. She loves youa nd feels she is losing you to this man. try not to be too hard on her. Let her know you love her and love spending time with her, but explain the importance of building a strong foundation in your marriage, She will understand even if she is somewhat upset or dislikes it. If she is a true friend,. she will respect what it is you want and give you some space.
2006-12-19 10:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by BlondeBarbie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes you are in a tough situation, but she needs to respect your new life and situation. one of the most important relationships you'll ever have has officially started (your husband) and you should gently explain that to her next time she gets upset you are never around. Next time she asks you to shop during the week, just say you can't tonight but how about a sat/sun afternoon? If you suggest the next time to get together, she shouldn't call every day asking to hang out! good luck!
2006-12-19 10:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by should be working 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your not wrong .. mariage is marriage
u have a right to yourn privacy she needs to understand this i think u may need to be less attached as friends become really clingy and later on may have an effect on ur marriage. true friends with understand what marriage is and should give u space, u need a long hard talk with her and explain. maybe invite over and sit down and explain to her
2006-12-19 10:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by sabrina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's jealous.
But if you want to keep your husband, you're going to have to cut down drastically on your contact with her.
Don't go out with her alone. And don't see her more than once every couple of weeks.
Get caller ID and just let it ring out when it's her number. She's got to learn to give you enough space or she'll lose you completely.
2006-12-19 10:29:29 · answer #9 · answered by Feinschmecker 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know this sounds odd but if you help your friend find a new man it will no doubt take the pressure off you, and I agree once a week is fine, your priorities have changed and hers have not.
2006-12-19 10:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋