OK. I'm about to go crazy! There are two people I like. Two people I really have feelings for. One is my ex, who at first excused himself from our relationship because he was going through some hard times with his mom getting sick[cancer]. He has now come to me and stated he was wrong to do that and wants to give us 100% effort. The other is a guy I've met since my ex, and he is a perfect gentleman and wonderful to be with, etc. etc. He lives 150 miles from me, so seeing each other would be a once-in-every-two-weeks sort of deal, when my ex is in my same city. I feel as though I need to choose now, before it gets worse, because I don't want to hurt anybody. What should I do? Who should I choose, or should I walk away from both and not choose at all??? What do you think??
2006-12-19 08:58:42 · 12 answers · asked by mattkent22 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Deep down, don't you already know the answer?
2006-12-19 09:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by mammamia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like others have stated it's obvious that you want to be with your ex. You said he excused himself from the relationship because he was having a hard time with his mother having cancer. You need to have a heart and try to understand where he was coming from. Yea it may have hurt you when he did that but inside you know that hurting you wasn't his intent. It's obvious you still love him and he loves you. Why are you willing to jeopardize that for someone that lives over 150 miles away from you? How did you even meet this other person? Since he's so far away I'm going to assume over the internet. If that's the case please don't be the typical gay guy and try to build a relationship over telephone conversations and e-mails. Long distance relationships don't work. Especially in the beginning of a relationship. You can't have a happy successful relationship with someone that you see twice a month. You're not going to get to know who that person REALLY is and you can't find out who they REALLY are just by having weekend visits. Work on what you already have with your ex, your question made it obvious that's what you want. If it wasn't what you wanted you would have never given his proposal a second thought. Don't toss your ex to the side for someone over 150 miles away because in the end you will regret it. He seems like a good genuine person who made a mistake and learned from it and that's very hard to find within the gay lifestyle. I sure do wish I had someone tell me that they wanted to give me 100%. You're lucky for that, don't throw it away.
2006-12-19 13:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by pacguy97 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically, I would say never go back to the ex. But, considering the circumstances, it's not like he was trying to hurt you and cheating. Unless you don't really want to put in the effort, I'd say go back to the ex. Besides, long distance relationships aren't easy.
2006-12-19 09:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by joyfulpoisongirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you know the answer... and according to what you wrote, that would be you ex... otherwise... why are you doubting?? 150 miles.... if you guys REALLY like each other is the smallest of your problems... but.. you need to be really carefully with who you take back in your life.
2006-12-19 09:12:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Cuban 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've tryed to answer your question about ten times now, but nothing sounded right,
its like i know you, weird
one lives 150 miles away from you, too fair. unless you move after awhile,
you ex lives in your town,
he sounds like he loves you, you need to go with your heart it wont matter witch one you pick aslong as your HAPPY...
you sound like a GOOD GUY. my hats to you,
2006-12-19 09:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might just want to walk away... That doesn't sound good. I would choose the ex, because he's close.
2006-12-19 09:08:58 · answer #6 · answered by §~You can't judge me!~§ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about your ex, will he do the same again if someone else is ill, at he same time I can see he loves his mum and rightly so. the other is too far away, I would advise someone new, good luck.
2006-12-19 09:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by t.i.m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
150 miles? That doesn't sound like that'd work out very well... How'd you even meet him?
2006-12-19 09:03:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart and the rest will fall into place.
2006-12-19 10:49:12 · answer #9 · answered by sfcastrolionmark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do
2006-12-19 09:08:28 · answer #10 · answered by Marvin R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋