I'm a shy, sensitive and quiet person who doesn't like receiving a lot of attention. Sometimes, though, people will make lighthearted comments about something I've done or said and will sort of playfully poke fun of it or make a lightearted sarcastic comment about it. Normally, I get very shy about it, especially when I'm with a large group, and I will just avoid eye contact and smile a lot. I've been told by family members that I'm easy to make fun of and that it's easy to play on my emotions.
It's not that my feelings are hurt by these actions (though I do tend to get sensitive towards a few things) and I know that people are not trying to upset me.
So I'm just wondering why people like to playfully tease quiet, sensitive and fairly shy individuals? What makes them SO easy to tease? Do others find it endearing or is it something else?
2006-12-19 08:44:47 · 23 answers · asked by Chelsea 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think that some people might unconciously see sensitive quiet people as easy targets for their teasing. That type probably wouldn't take it well if you teased them back, so they feel you are 'safe' to tease.
Others might be doing it to try to draw you out, misguided attempt that it is.
Others are just jerks, tease and ridicule everyone, but sensitive folks notice it more.
2006-12-19 08:50:14 · answer #1 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question. I can be this way. Not so much now as when I was younger. I had an uncle that was relentless, leaving me in tears every time.
I can't give an definitive answer. I can however surmise.;
Could it be that people like to be the bully. Or perhaps would it make a bully out of an otherwise nice person. People succumb to peer pressure quite easily. It could be peer pressure. Then again, it could be quite harmless and it tends to get blown out of proportion.
I can tell you this, the older I have gotten the more I tend to let things slide off my back like water off a ducks back. I still don't like to be harassed. Made fun of. Or teased. But, I realize now that it isn't so serious and I wont die in the end. Take care.
2006-12-19 08:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To put it simply, because it's easy. Most people who are sensitive and quiet will not bounce back with a retort and usually just roll over and take the comment, much to the bemusement of the person making the comment and their friends.
It's not usually something many find endearing, and many with low self-esteem are frustrated by their inability to fight back. The best thing to do is to either confront the person and talk to them about the comments if they are truly bothering you, or laugh off the comment as if it doesn't bother you at all.
People make the comments to get a reaction, if there's no reaction, then the comments will cease. Good luck!
2006-12-19 08:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by politechaos 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are shy people such easy targets?
Some people amuse themselves through confrontation. The bigger the reaction they get from someone, the more inclined they are to continue. It is a character flaw. It is not something you want in a spouse. When you live with someone, you find out what it takes to push their buttons. A truly evil individual will taunt his/her partner and push their buttons at the slightest provocation rather than try to resolve an issue. It is a deliberate attempt to hurt someone, even if there is no physical contact. I sometimes wonder if these individual find entertainment from pulling the wings off of flies, roasting ants with a magnifying glass, etc. They have no empathy skills.
2006-12-19 09:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well until about 2 1/2 years ago, i was just like you. for me it did upset me and i too looked for the answer to why ppl do it. i concluded that people tease and poke fun at the shy, quiet person because its an easy way for them to destress their insecurities. your the quiet one, your the one that they dont expect and/or plan on receiving a response from. they will poke fun and tease you because your the easiest person for them to do that to... i mean for example if someone tried to get from point a to point b as fast as they could, they would take the straight line rather than a curvy path. i know the analogy is very "out there" but it makes sense. a person will always poke fun at the quiet person or tease them because they are the easiest to do such to... usually they are trying to cover up their insecurities by poking at yours. it took me a good almost 3 years now, but i broke through that wall that was holding me back, the same one thats holding you back, i broke through and have been strong ever since...basically the only way to solve the situation is by making yourself emotionally stronger and more secure, dont let the little things get to you, remember, what hurts you now, makes you stronger later. keep that in mind. Good luck, Arek
2006-12-19 08:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by Arek Ryzak 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I'm shy, and people tend to tease me, but, unlike you, I'm really sensitive, so I get defensive.
But, anyway, back to you. I think they do that just to include you in their conversations. Laughter and jokes are ice-breakers for some people, and they probably just want to talk to you, or maybe they're testing out your sensitivity level and see where you break.
2006-12-19 08:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I came from both sides. I used to be the sensitive target people use to pick on and I also was a person that teases people. People use to pick on me because I was quiet and shy, they use to tease me. Later on, I became sick and tired of being tease on so I became a monster because I want to stand up for myself. I became so aggressive and mean, people used to hate me for looking down on people.
2006-12-19 09:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sort of like you - that's my basic character. However, when it happens to me, I tend to think it's because they want to include me in conversation or whatever is going on. I tend to do it to people who are quieter than me, and it's just a natural impulse becuase I would like to get to know the person inside the shell. Maybe I'm asking too much in a large-crowd situation.
2006-12-19 08:49:12 · answer #8 · answered by James 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a book that describes personalities and why people act the way they do. It helped me figure out what I'm all about.
It's called: Personality Plus, How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself
You can get it at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Personality-Plus-rev-exp-Understanding/dp/080075445X/sr=8-1/qid=1166565239/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-0773897-9000931?ie=UTF8&s=books
2006-12-19 08:57:51 · answer #9 · answered by jasarile 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm one of those people too. Even one of my teachers said about me, "She's so quiet, sometimes we forget she's there." I think it's because they know we won't talk back or tease them, so we're easy targets because all the teasing goes in and nothing comes back out...sortof...Sorry if I didn't make sence
2006-12-19 08:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋