Do you think that is is right to have your daughter to believe your her real mom when your not?

Question

I have a older brother who in past realtionships has 2-daughters by two different moms. He just a bout 4years ago married a women who has 2 -children of her own. Now the oldest daughter to my brother knows her real mother. However my brothers youngest daughter dosen't. She only know her mom as my brothers current wife. Now I do know it is them who have to tell her the truth. She is now 7.. Don't you think she should know sooner then later? I don't personally think it is fair to her just in case the marriage dosen't last.

Answer 1

I don't think it's fair period. whether the marriage lasts or not. The child has an absolute right to know. What they need to think about when considering such is....someday regardless, she will realize it, either on her own or someone will tell her. She will then feel betrayed by people she thought cared about her the most. The outcome of keeping it from her can't turn out good, no matter what the circumstances of her biological mother not being involved.

Answer 2

That's a tricky question because I am in a situation like that. I have two sons. The youngest from my husband and a four year old from an ex. My husband has raised my 4 yr old since he was 1 yr. That's the only daddy he knows or will ever know. My situation may be different, but my son's real father is a deadbeat. He has made no attempts to visit, pay support, or nothing. I don't know if we will ever tell my 4 yr. old otherwise because he is happy. I think your brother knows his situation better than anyone and he will make the best decision on his own. You can't force an issue even if it's your niece. That's his child and he will make the best decision for her. I think if your brother's wife is doing right by your niece, there is no reason to stir it up. Let her feel secure and stable.

Answer 3

Whether or not the marriage lasts it best to be honest regardless. It may be difficult for the child to accept but it far better to explain and answer questions while a child is young and open rather than decieve the child until she is "old" enough to understand and strip her of her identity. This will only breed negative emotions and a feeling of distrust toward the current parents. The child will understand if the people who love her explain that the world she lives in is not perfect.

Answer 4

They need to tell her NOW. Why have her grow up believing something else and then find out the truth. she will really be upset and hurt and most of all betrayed. It isn't fair to her because if they do get divorced(hopefullynot) then what are they going to tell her. Why hasn't he told her about her real mom? Was she so bad? Even still that is not his decision to keep that from her, she needs to decide that on her own.

Answer 5

Maybe your brother will tell her when she is older and can understand better.Some 7 years olds are more mature than others and some aren't.I do agree that she needs to know who are mother is.You know every woman that has children aren't mothers.Maybe her mom realized that and left rather than stay and abuse her daughter. To me his wife is her mother.She does everything a mother is suppose to do and if she is giving her the love and affection and support that she needs to grow up and be a mature stable woman What difference does it really make?

Answer 6

I dont think it is your place to tell her

Perhaps the daughter will want to know one day but let her enjoy her childhood if the woman is being a good mother then dont stir up any drama. Besides What is a mother I would say its the woman who nutures you, show you culture, is there when you need her, loves you unconditionally, teaches values and murals and how to be a mature adult not necesssarly the woman who carried and gave birth to you is your mother.

Answer 7

The lady who is her real mother is the lady that raises her. This does not have to be the biological mother. The daughter should eventually be told, but it should be when her parents feel that she is old enough to handle the information. Too soon and it may devastate the girl and cause damage through her teenage years.

Answer 8

I think the parents should tell her that the mom isn't her real mom. It shouldn't matter to the mom or the 7 year old, but I think honesty is always the best answer. By telling her now will create less drama down the road.

Answer 9

wow, that could make me ask your self too, maximum mothers and fathers have image's from delivery, she has to have a delivery certificates that you'll flow to college, you may visit with a relied on instructor in college and perchance she will be able to look it up that you'll help reassure you, perchance she is operating from her kin and left the picture's in the back of? Is there an aunt or grandma you should communicate with? does your mum have any buddies she has had for a lengthy time period? i'd imagine flow with the first call you had and the first image of you as a baby you'll discover, her first call you keep in ideas and commence looking on the internet, she had to flow to college quicker or later besides? perchance she is understanding of your authentic dad's kin? who's acquainted with, communicate inclusive of her in case you may if no longer, i'd attempt the instructor element first. sturdy success both way she could love you to flow to all this worry!

Answer 10

I think your right. She's getting older an it's crucial that she knows who her real mother is. I'm pretty sure one day she's gonna need her birth certificate for something and then she'll know. I think it's better for him to tell her instead of her finding out on her own because then she'll resent him.