mixed married couples....problems???

Question

I am engaged to a wonderful man... he is black and I am hispanic.. We have a great relationship and plan to marry this summer. My family is wonderful with him..they adore him.. his parents are nice to me..but i dont think they love the idea of me being hispanic..but hes a grown man.. and im a grown woman..so we pretty much do what makes us happy. Hes not too close to his family anyways..so its never caused us any problems.. do any of you that are married have ANY problems concerning race in your relationships??? does it effect your children..and your everyday life??? thanks for your answers...

Answer 1

I am an American white married to a Nigerian. No problems at all. He is my soul mate and I could not imagine my life without him. Maybe people might look at us a little more than they would look at a same race couple, but that doesn't bother me in the least. People are just curious. I don't think they mean anything by it. And I am pregnant now with our first child. Don't know how she'll feel about things, but I think as long as we communicate our feelings openly with her, she'll be fine.

You should go with what your heart tells you. The world is too vast to pigeonhole yourself with one "type" of person.

Answer 2

these days it almost like no such things as a same race relationship. I am black and my honey is white. at first i thought that it would be a problem but the families involved had no problems it was his friends that had the problem. when you are a different race they always think that you are after something, ie: money or whatever. after a year the friends saw that they were wrong about us. our familes treat us as if we were always a part of each others family so to make a long story short we have now been together 20 years and havent had any racial problems. as for children, as long as you give them all the love they need i wouldnt worry about it. people may still say rude things sometimes but thats just their ignorance, they'll get over it and if not thats their problem

Answer 3

You must be a lucky woman. At least his parents are beeing nice with you. I had a chinese friend and her boyfriend was jewish. His parents don't accept her even though she is beeing respecful and giving them all sorts of gifts. Some people prefer keeping the circle of there own country people. But in your case, you said that his parents are beeing nice to you soo I think it should be ok. As long as you are respecful to the elders, the family will be in peace. On the other hand, the traditions of both you and your husband are different. For example, some people eat lamb meat and rabbits but since I am asian, i don't eat those. Religion can be also an issue if your beliefs are different. What religion will be your children be? What will be their primary language? My dad was latino and mom was asian...soo if your parents accept each other, it's all good.
And congratulations :D

Answer 4

Welcome to the "real World"...

Inlaws are the same as outlaws, they should all be banned from having a say in the marriage, unless you find that you have an abusive spouse, then they should come to your rescue.
(But, thats not often the case, because they didnt like you anyways :).

Being a Christian, I never cared if my children married into black, white, yellow, or red. We are all GOD'S children, and we are all part of the Human Race.

Interracial marriages are becoming more common now, so the stigma is not as prevelant as in the 50s or there-abouts.

I wouldnt worry about inlaws, and the kids will be just fine. You will probably find that most schools now days, have more "mixed" races than "normal" blends anymore...

I wish you well...

Jesse

Answer 5

In the same relationship however we are both previously married. I was married to a black, she previously married to a black man (I myself am black if you didn't pick that up). Because of where we live I don't think its a big deal (N. Cali) but I am originally from North Cac. We visited a couple times and get "some" looks. My family, as your fiance's, have some issues but nothing they would ever voice or make known to me publicly. I just know their policy "better bring home a black girl". So its a little of a shock to them. Her kids have mentioned to us before that some black kids have teased them about being mixed (black/hispanic). Her kids are 8/6/4. Other than that, I think men in opposite races tend to have the biggest problem, as feeling they are losing a woman they could have had. For example, my girl is Rican/Mexican. Her mother (Rican) has no issues with me and me and her family are cool. Her fathers side (he is only one generation removed from Mexico) doesn't want me around but hell they don't take too kind to her half Puerto Rican brothers either, so no big deal to me. Sorry for a long story, but to make it short. I think it depends on your area but undoubtedly you will probably get some kind of stares or comments somewhere in your lifetime, just don't let it bother you. As for his family, once they see how you treat him and you guys are together for awhile I am sure they will come around.

Answer 6

I'm white, I married a puerto rican guy. The only problem I had was the culture shock when we first dated. I never had to "air kiss" before and everyone wanted to feed me. Weddings, baby showers, parties, were way different than ours. At first a lot of things his family and friends did made me feel nervous because it was different than what I was used to. I found that sometimes when people are a little standoffish they are nervous about something.
Maybe they don't have any experience with an Hispanic person.
Now that we are married, I have embraced his culture and it doesn't affect our lives at all. His parents love me, my parents love him etc......

Answer 7

First, congratulations on the engagement! Hope you are both very happy!

I'm in a mixed marriage myself - I'm Roman Catholic and she's Southern Baptist. Yeah, I know it's not the same thing, but the family issues this causes and the compromises that must be made are just as personal, and sometimes just as touchy. We just don't have to deal with the "issues" anywhere outside of our respective Churches.

You do have one advantage - nobody's gonna pressure you to convert to "African American," and he's not likely to face the question "So...when you gonna take the plunge and become hispanic?"

Answer 8

Love is blind. Love does not see color. If you are truly happy with someone and you love them, then don't let some of societies feeble minds affect your given right to happiness.

I have been in an interracial relationship for the past 14 years. The odd time we have gotten strange stares, especially in some predominately black neighbourhoods/cities, but nobody has ever said anything to our face.

I am very happy with my wife, I can't imagine not marrying her just because some people in society think that it is not right. Nobody is perfect so nobody has a right to judge anyone for any reason. If any two people are happy and in love, they have a right to happiness just like everyone else, regardless of race, gender etc.

I will not let society dictate my happiness, you shouldn't either.

Congratulations on your engagement,
S.

Answer 9

If the two of you love each other it don't matter what the other family members think-and no it don't effect your kids if you don't let it-I have the mixed grand kids and one great granddaughter and I love them dearly and I love my dtr-in-law and great granddtr-in-law-color don't make a difference-people are the one that cause a problem for the children and the parents-you can stop that to if you want to -your everyday life is what you make it.

Answer 10

I am white and i am married to a hispanic man. It does not cause issues on his side they love me but on my side my family puts up with it, but they dont like it cause they think he is using me and we have had problems in the past, and we dont fuss infront of the kids but there was a period of time it was hard on them but, its ok now we have worked though it but I try to not let my familys option bug me to much. my guess is you will be ok if you both compromise because with any mixed couple you will have problems but if you learn to breathe, and talk though it rather than yellin and gettin mad you should be fine. And dont let other peoples option get to you.