What power does a parent have over their child after the child turns 18?

Question

I am 18, and I still live with my mother. She has a problem with the places I want to go and when I want to go sometimes. I am just trying to make sure that she has no power over these things. She only has power over what I do in her house and whether I can live with her or not, right?

Answer 1

If you honestly want freedom, move out. I'm 18, and Ive been living away from my parents for a few months now. As long as you live in a person's home, related to you or not, you must follow their rules.

The reality is, while you don't like the way your parents treat you now, you are going to miss them like hell when they aren't around anymore. Love your mother and father, and be kind to them. I wouldn't be able to live comfortably if I had mistreated my parents, and left them feeling like they had not raised me well.

Answer 2

In a way you are right, but remember "YOU STILL LIVE IN YOUR MOTHERS' HOUSE!", and as long as you do, she still have the power to:

1) Demand Respect
2) Demand Courtesy
3) Demand that you respect her wishes to return home at a
certain hour if she want to go to sleep and not have any
interruptions of her sleep .
4) Demand that you obey all house rules.

You are 18 now and your mother cannot tell you "when" to come and go, or "where" you can come and go from, but, she still do have controll over her house and is still the "head of household decision maker". If you don't like her rules, you can move out. But, my advice to the two of you would be for both of you to come to some kind of understanding as to what each other want and to respect each other for the persons that you are, and not be afraid to love each other. Tell Mom that rules are made to be broken sometimes, especially by young adults over the age of 18, as long as you are not out there doing the wrong thing or engaging in activity that could bring some hurt, harm or danger to anyone else, she should embrace you and try to look pass some of the things that young people do. By the same token you need to understand your mother and try to compromise with her and her feelings.

Sweetpea

Answer 3

are you still going to high school? if so she still has total authority over you till you graduate. But if not then she has no legal responsibility but it is still her house and her rules and you have an obligation to live by those rules especially if you are using her car and other property for your own purposes. She is your mother and you should respect her wishes if you are to continue to live with her rent free. She is not expecting anything of you that you could not expect of her if she was living under your roof. My advise to you is to have a heart to heart talk with her in a comfortable environment where both of you are at ease with the subject.

Remember that you are still young and don't have the benefit of her wisdom that comes with age. Your mother loves you and doesn't want to see you make the same mistakes that she did when she was your age. But now that you are technically an adult you are responsible for you. Everything that you do reflects upon you and you alone are responsible for your actions. The choices that you make will forever change your life and shape who you will become. Your mother only wants you to become better than she has become. That is the hope of every parent to see their children become better than themselves.

Just be respectful when talking to your mom and try to understand where she is coming from. Its ok to tell her how you feel. But try to look at the situation from an objective stand point with out the emotional baggage. Trust me when I say this, some time when you are older you will suddenly be hit with the realization that you mom was right about this or that. This what she means when she tells you that you will understand when you're older.

Answer 4

I concur.

Legally, she doesn't have much, to any, "power" over you when you are 18.

Unfortunately, if you are still living with your mother, in the house in which she pays for, she, for lack of a better word, does have "power" over you until you either move out or start pulling your own weight.

It's funny, I use to think the same way when I was a teenager. My sister would always run away when she got in trouble and my father would say, "...if you live under my roof, you live by my rules..." so, to prevent that, she would leave.

...and she would leave once a year until she was 18; when she finally moved out for good.

Me on the other hand, I knew, at 16, 17, 18... I wasn't ready to live on my own, so I had to put up with all their rules... and rightfully so, it's their house.

Bottom line...
If you can make it on your own at 18yrs (and trust me, depending on the lifestyle you want for yourself, it's not all that easy), then move out and you won't have to worry about her rules

-or-

Stay.
Finish school.
Focus on getting a career.
Save some money.
Just, use the time you have at home wisely... to prepare yourself for the world beyond the walls of your mother's home.

It may seem a little difficult now, but you will have all the time in the world once you've moved out.

Besides, part of the fun of being a teenager is being bad... sneeking out, underage drinking, rebelling against your parents and thier "rules." (totally kidding...kinda)

.pEace.

Answer 5

As the mother of an 18yr old myself, i will tell you that most of the comments already posted are correct. The "legal" power and responsibility for you now lies with you and not your mother, which is both a blessing and a curse for the both of you. B/c while all parents want the absolute best for their children and will sacrifice greatly to protect and help their children, the ultimate decision is now yours. You don't have to agree with your mother - only respect her. Being honest with her and talking with her openly is the key to opening your relationship with her up to the new phase of life you are both entering, now that you are 18. As difficult as it is for parents to "let go", it is just as difficult for you to recognize and accept that you don't know everything, and that even if the law says you are of age, doesn't mean you don't need guidance, & still have a lot left to learn. We all do! Life is an ongoing learning process, not just academically, but spiritually as well. Good luck, and rem, she's your mom, she loves you and the more upset she is about your decisions, indicates the level of her concern for you! Good Luck

Answer 6

Legally you're correct. The issue is that since you live in her house, she does have the power to kick you out. You know the old saying "You live under my roof you abide by my rules"? Can she tell you that you can't do something outside of the home. No. She can, however, boot you out if you do something or go somewhere she has said not to. You can preach all of the legalities to her about what she can and can't do to you, but I'd search for alternate living arrangements prior to this conversation. Move out, buy your own food, pay your own bills, and then you can do whatever you want.

Answer 7

Wrong. She has the right to kick you out tomorrow if she wants to because it's HER place. Her name is on the lease, deed, or mortgage, she's the one making payments on it, therefore she is the boss and you have NO SAY WHATSOEVER. That goes a lot farther than what you can do in her house and whether you can live with her or not. You live in her house then you live by her rules, period. No if's, no and's, no but's, no exceptions. If you tried to take her to court for trying to run your life while you're living under her roof the judge will laugh you out of the court room and tell you to grow up.

Answer 8

Your mother has no legal rights over you. However, if you want to get out from "under" your mother's conditions for your own life, get a job, pay rent and lead your own life. Your mother is totally within her rights to impose conditions over you if you choose to remain under her roof and eating her food. It's not unlike the conditions placed on you by an employer -- if you do not like it you can always find another job. Likewise if you do not like your mother's rules, become independent and move out. Otherwise, realize she is doing you a huge favor, and give a little instead of just taking.

Answer 9

Legally you are an adult. Factually you still live with your mother and she can still make the rules until you move out! Of course you can break them, but the streets don't look so good at this time of year!

If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one, or move out and do anything you want, including paying rent! Seen the price of Apartments these days?

Answer 10

It's her house and since she is your mother, she has the power to do whatever she wants. Until you move out, your mom's gonna have some control. That's what parents do.