I am a married woman who has had an affair with a married man. This man has come to be my best friend. We are very close. I know it is not all about sex but the temptation is there and attraction is mutual. We have had sex only 4 times in almost a year. We don't see eachother very often but we are in constant contact via phone and email. I know it is wrong to have an affair. I am considering ending this relationship as well but please be open-minded with your answers. Thanks.
2006-12-19 08:06:58 · 15 answers · asked by R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trojans encouraged to reply. Fight On!
2006-12-19 08:08:47 · update #1
This is the first time I have had an affair in the 14 years of my marriage. He has had at least 2 in 11 years of his. I didn't know what to expect and it has been difficult, painful for me. I don't recommend having an affair, especially if there is no love and one or the other will not leave their spouse.
2006-12-19 08:52:20 · update #2
You are not in love.. I dont think you are you are having an affair which means you are not happy that is only normal men do it all the time when they are not happy ///you are looking for affection but you are not in love because it is obvious the person you are cheating with is also married which means you are ok with sharing him with his wife....You are just confused maybe you should be alone to find yourself.....And do not fall for the married guy unless he has fallen for you and you both are ready to be together you leaving your spouse and he leaving his wife
2006-12-19 08:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by melanni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man you are having an affair with is probably filling some emotional need that you are not getting with your husband. A marriage is very hard work and it is easier to see and feel great things with another instead of facing all the hard work a marriage entails. I forget the numbers but, the divorce rate percentage of second marriages is far greater than that of first marriages.
I had a similar experience but the man I had an affair with was not married. I left my husband to be with him. Things did not work out. I thought he was the love of my life, my soul mate, but he ended up not being the person I thought he was. The grass is always greener on the other side.....
2006-12-19 08:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by edawns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a simple distraction...
Look back through your old pictures with your husband before you married, how was it? wasnt it the best feeling to be with him? wasnt he your "best friend'? wasnt it exciting? this man is simply there because he is a new figure simply because you are used to what you already have and want something different... keep in mind "the grass is not always greener on the other side, it simply looks that way because you are not there"
Please end it now I know this affair is causing you pain and confusion, why would you want that? Let it go and spend your time strengthening your marriage, no one will ever know you like your hubby does, the bond between a married couple is strong because it is binded by God you are now in Adultry which will only cause you pain, distraction,confusion, and in almost all cases it will cause you to loose a very inportant person in your life. Think about it hard
2006-12-19 08:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my ex-husband for my current husband, now. I was miserable in my first marriage. I didn't know how to get out. I mean, it was not right for me to have cheated on my husband, but I really did not love him and I was so worried he was going to kill himself or something if I left. (He had threatened before.) And it is not like I was out looking for someone. It just kind of happened. The first night I slept with my current husband now, I knew that I had to break it off with my ex-husband (then, was my husband). I couldn't sleep with 2 men at the same time. So, I divorced my husband, then. Now, I am happily married to the man I had an affair with. We have been married for 5 years and we are still in love. Don't get me wrong. It was real rocky for the first year, but we loved each other enough to have it last. If you both really love each other than you will make the decision today that you will both leave your spouses for each other. That's how I did it. My current husband now was not married at the time. If you want to end your affair, then you need to end it now. Good luck!
2006-12-19 08:39:30 · answer #4 · answered by Meuy V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are justifying your actions by stating that he is your "best friend", that you have only had sex 4 times in almost a year. Having sex only once outside of marriage is still infidelity Why set yourself up to be "the other woman"? Decide what it is about your own marriage that makes you feel you need to be with a married man
The other guy is using you and you are allowing it. And obviously, it is causing you a tremendous amount of emotional angst. Is he really worth it? Is having sex with him 4 times a year worth what it could do to not only your marriage, but his? End it and do yourself a favor. Seek marital counseling to resolve the issues that exist between you and your husband. If you no longer love him, then do him and favor, quit living a lie, and end it. If nothing else, you'll like yourself better than you obviously do right now.
2006-12-19 08:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by Janice Merle L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a simular situation before. It's tough and you probably know that. I thought i was in love with the man i was having an affair with, and i thought he felt the same because he sure acted like he did. But he really surprised me when i told him i might love him. He didn't say anything back but eventually told me the only woman he loves his wife. And that is when i finally ended it, but mann was it painful.. Anyways looking back i know i wasn't really in love with him, it was just the idea of him. So if your even just questioning whether your in love or not.. your not! you KNOW when you love somebody. You're probably more in love with the affair than you are with the person you having the affair with.
2006-12-19 08:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by Catalyst 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a woman is in love...When she smiles for no reason, when she is most active in her life and in others, when she can take a deep breath and it feels like she is breathing for the first time. Its rare!
You have to follow your heart on this one. There is more than two people involved and you have to remember you are not the only one at risk of being hurt.
Its a suckie situation just be friends.. its all you can do and if destin wishes it...the sitution will present itself again when the time is right.
2006-12-19 08:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't see each other very often and have only have sex 4 times in a year....then I think your marriage is already over. Things are not the same anymore for your marriage....face it. I think its time for you to let her go and get a divorce. Long distance and no sex is a bad combination that will lead you to divorce.
2006-12-19 08:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by ♪♫♫♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you only cheated on your husband 4 times over the past year. You are a saint - a model of self c u n t rol, being that you are in constant contact with the stud.
Yes that word was spelled incorrectly on purpose. You are hunk of dirt, nothing more.
2006-12-19 08:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have an affair maybe you're with the wrong person
2006-12-19 08:11:47 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋