Need a woman's perspective on judging a woman?

Question

I have a lady friend who is married. She is attractive, rather hot. We have been talking casual up until a few weeks she was going to Chicago to see family and I was there too for a business trip. She mentioned that we two should meet and hang out. She made a point not to tell her hubby about it.

Since then, we have spoken on numerous occassions, but she would not let her hubby know about it. When the hubby is not around she would talk to me, but not in his presence. She shows a lot of interest in me sometimes and sometimes would kinda ignore me.

Whats going on?? I am confused...
Ladies: What can you comment on and help?

Thanks a lot for those answers ladies. Many of you have raised a point which I forgot to mention in the original question. She does have a boring marriage. Its not that the hubby is rude or anything...just that he doesn't have any time for her or her interests. Also, I do not think she is going to leave him ever, whatever he does.

Answer 1

I'm not a woman but if she is unwilling to let her husband in on it then something is up. Get the heck out of there!

Answer 2

Sounds like she is playing with you an leading you on.... She is married you need to back off anyways and tell her straight up that there is nothing here but a friendship..... You do not want or need the drama of having an affair with a married women.....

She has no respect for her husband so what makes you think that she would have any for you? There are too many women out there for you to be wondering about this one find someone who is not taken an try a relationship there,,,,, Good Luck and I hope you find someone you can take out in public without hiding or sneaking

Answer 3

Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and doesn't want to lose her hubby. Yeah, she sounds like she's attracted to you but that's all it is, yet she wants to keep her hubby. I would let her go if I were you, she's only going to treat you this way if you keep being there and wanting for you. She is pretty much taking you for granted since she knows you'll be there. Don't do this to yourself and go through the heartache. I don't think she's going to leave her husband or she would've done it a long time ago. Why don't you talk to her and ask her what she wants? Then from there if she staying with ther husband...I suggest you move on to someone who will love you.

Answer 4

hi there.....this is one straight piece of advice do not listen to youre other 2 answers at the moment .....i will give you some good advice from a woman ....there could be big problems in her marriage and with you paying her attention she could be well lapping this up ......or and this is more likely to be the case she is playing you ,is she a very confident lady .....if yes then she knows that she is good looking and is enjoying the attention ....which how doesnt male or female ..but with her ignoring you when the husband is about that is just not on if i was you i really would ignore her the next time you see this woman and believe me she will come to you and get this sorted out .....and to be honest you seem like a nice bloke that is being played by this woman ....good luck and take care xx

Answer 5

Hmmm..she wants a boy toy but there is noway you will ever replace her husband. If she cant be honest w/her husband then you dont need her either. Dont put yourself in this situation. I have a few guy friends and my husband knows everytime they call or if they go to a horse show w/me. I've even met a few online and my husband knows about them and has even allowedd me to call them to talk. We are only friends and he knows that but so do the other guys I talk to as well. She ignores you when its not convenient and when her husband is gone she then will give you attention. Do you like being the doormat? Has she told you that she has feelings for you more then a friend? Is she willing to leave the husband? Are they happily married? As long as she is being straight w/you and her husband then thats okay but if shes playing both of you then shes a witch.

Answer 6

Sounds to me as if her husband has been giving her a difficult time about having male friends. If that is what it is, it may just blow over, or it may get worse. There are trust issues in the marriage, and while you (assuming) haven't done anything to be ashamed of, she is not being honest with her spouse, which makes things look really bad and is giving him reason to be suspicious of you both. If she really is your friend, you need to let her know that you don't feel comfortable keeping your relationship secret from her husband, because it makes you both look bad. Do yourself a favor and don't get otherwise involved with a married woman. If she wants something besides what she has in her marriage, then she needs to reconsider her marriage, and if she wants to leave or fix things.

Answer 7

She likes the attention, possibly cause she doesn't get it from her husband or she wants to see if she can still get attention just because! It also sounds like she's a tease. Even if it's not something she's thinking about doing now, it's a huge possibility that she'll cheat on him in the (maybe near) future. If that's not something you want to be apart of, then loosen the ties and talk to her less often and only when her husband is around (or others anyway).

Answer 8

Sounds like she is attracted to you. Even if its alittle bit but it sounds to me like she is interested. I do think that its just a "fling" I dont think she wants something serious with you. If her hubby finds out then problems will arise you know thats why she might want to keep it on the DL....I dont think its serious tho because of the fact she wants to keep it a secret......I think she has a lot more to loose if her hubby were to find out...
Dont take it the wrong way but maybe shes alittle bored with the hubby and wants some excitement some emotion some thrill and thats where you come in...
But ask her straight out there is no better way to get rid of your doubts...let her know what you think and what you want from her..if you want her to stop then let her know.........If you want to take the flirting to another level then tell her that too but tell her you dont want to go behind anyones back...(if thats what you want I mean)

Answer 9

STAY AWAY!!!!! Any woman that keeps secrets from her husband is someone that you should be careful around. She may just need a good friend, but showing so much interest in you isn't a good thing. Is this someone that you are interested in, in that way? I hate to speak for everyone becuase everyone's situation is different. She may be in a bad relationship or something and may be scared to tell her husband. Keeping secrets from your spouse is never a good sign. So be careful not to get in the middle of something ugly.

Answer 10

it seems to me that she is interested in you. If she only ignores you when her husband is around. I think she might want to have an affair with you.(just my opinion mind you). She will probably make her move in Chicago. I wouldn't take her up on it if that's what she wants though. Nothing good ever comes of an affair with a married person, male or female. Everyone ends up getting hurt. It's a lose lose situation. The decision is yours of course but, please be careful.

Answer 11

If its a matter shes not tellin her husband my first guess is she wants a "buddy", and she is feeling you out to see if you can deal with all that because if a married women has on he cant fall for her, cause she wants to remain married for whatever reason, but dont make a major pass at her cause then you may get more that you bargin for.

also pay close attention to what her body is saying if she is making odd motions with her hand or keeps crossing, and uncrossin her legs, licks her lips to much then you got your answer. but i dont belive its just about chatting cause what would be the point of not telling her husband.