What should i do?

Question

whenever i go outside i get attacked by dinosaurs. I thought they were extinct

Answer 1

I was having this same problem for a while, until I finally figured out that I was heading outside from the wrong door.

Instead of using the front door, I was somehow travelling through the Cretaceous door. These doors are no longer common, but were once installed in larger apartment complexes and some homes. They were used in part for garbage disposal, and fuelled a brief craze in butterfly stomping in the late 1930's until it was determined that it was somehow creating Nazis, and the fad became unpopular.

Nowadays, most of the Cretaceous doors are blocked up, but every now and then one will jiggle itself loose during house settling and reopen. Because the doors have been identified as a major source of raptor infestations, the US PPPPS (Parachronic Portal Paleontological Protection Service) recommends deactivating open portals.

Unfortunately, the equipment needed to deactivate the portals is no longer as common as they once were. Deactivation is achieved through sustained sonicoacoustic wavelength metering. At one time, the best way to achieve this was by blasting Slim Whitman records played at 78 rpm at the doorway.

It might be possible to modify a Slim Whitman mp3 to play at the proper frequencies, however the RIAA shut down the US PPPPS's file sharing network, so you're on your own as far as finding the right tune.

Answer 2

Have a camera with you, and take a photo. Make sure the setting is on "fuzzy" so that there will always be some doubt. This will start new theories about the survival of dinosaurs.
You could write a few books. Organise hunting parties. Have fun with it. Retire rich.
Ah, the possibilities.

Answer 3

Don't go outside then!

Answer 4

I'd like to help you, but I have to get back to Planet Earth.

Answer 5

Stay off the herbage!

Answer 6

Wear dinosaur repellent! Duh! It smells like bananas and toothpaste...