We have been together for 8 years ..........?

Question

WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 8 YEARS, I HAVE TWO CHILDREN THAT HE HAS TAKEN ON LIKE HIS OWN AND WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER. BUT I AM TO THE POINT WHERE I WONDER IF OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL EVER GO ANY FURTHER. I WOULD LIKE TO BE THE PERSON HE WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH AND I HAVE BEEN HINTING THAT I WOULD LIKE TO GET A DIAMOND BUT EVEN AFTER HINTING FOR 2 YEARS NOW, HE DON'T SEEM TO RECOGNIZE, I HAVE RECENTLY QUIT HINTING, WHEN HE ASKED WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS I TOLD HIM IS THERE SOMETHING THAT I SHOLD DO TO BE MORE FRANK???? I REALLY LOVE HIM AND I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM BUT MY FAIRY TALE IS TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE

Answer 1

YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 8 YEARS, RIGHT? SO THAT MEANS YOU ARE VERY CLOSE- EVEN HAVING A KID TOGETHER. SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF YOU ARE MARRIED OR NOT? DOES A DIAMOND RING AND SOME PAPERS SIGNED MAKE THINGS DIFFERENT? OR YOU ARE AFRAID HE MAY STOP LOVING YOU AND LEAVE? TRUST ME, IF HE WANTS HE CAN DO IT EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED. SOME MEN JUST NEVER FEEL READY FOR A MARRIAGE. IF IT IS SO IMPORTANT FOR YOU- JUST TALK TO HIM AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE A TEAM AND YOU SHOULD DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS TOGETHER. I AM SURE THAT HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH!! JUST ENJOY YOUR RELATIONSHIP. WHEN HE FEELS READY HE WILL PROPOSE TO YOU. IF YOU DON'T WANNA WAIT AND YOU REALL ARE THAT CLOSE- WHY DON'T YOU PROPOSE TO HIM? START IT AS A JOKE- WITH A PLASTIC TOY RING OR SMTH LIKE THAT TO SEE WHAT HIS REACTION WOULD BE. MAYBE WHEN HE FINDS OUT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR YOU TO GET MARRIED, HE WILL CHANGE HIS MIND AND PROPOSE TO YOU OR MAYBE HE IS WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT! BUT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS- KNOW THAT YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY WOMAN!

Answer 2

My dear, you answered your own question when you aptly stated that your "fairy tale" . . . Honey, there is an old southern saying . . . "Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?" Don't you think, after 8 years, he knows you want to marry, so WHY the "hint"? This is YOUR "fairy tale"; for him, it is his reality. I don't think there is anything you can say or do to be more specific than you have already been.

Face it, sweetie - this is your life, take it or leave it. You can't force him into marrying you. You two have a child together and he is satisfied with "status quo". Only you can decide if it is enough or not. Quit looking to him to solve an issue that, for him, is a non-issue. He is happy with things, just the way they are. Since this is YOUR "fairy tale", YOU must be the one to choose its ending.

Answer 3

You have been together fir eight years have had children with some other guy and one with him, AND YET, you cannot come out and say " I WISH TO GET MARRIED!"
Perhaps you should give up on fairy tales and concentrate on having an adult relationship with him. That would have included marriage as a pretext to children but since that water is over the dam why don't you just tell him.
Is it remotely possible that a guy who does not take hints well may just need to be told.

BTW all CAPITAL LETTERS indicates shouting or great emphasis.

Answer 4

I don't know that it helps you any, but after being in a marriage for 11 years only to find out that my husband was cheating on me and a nasty divorce, I finally realized that sometimes marriage is less important than the feelings behind it. If you are happy with him and he with you, which I am only assuming because of the length of the relationship and the fact that there are children involved, shouldn't it be enough that he is there with you and the kids. You shouldn't need to have a ring on your finger or a piece of paper on the wall to know that you belong with someone. Sometimes the ceremony is just overrated.

Answer 5

Tell him you really want to get married. Why not be married if you already have a child together. If you have been together 8 years and loved each other enough to make a baby together then why not. I would just come out and ask, but do it after Christmas.

Answer 6

He has no reason to marry you if you're shacking up and having children out of wedlock. You put the cart before the horse. He recognizes your hints, but has chosen to ignore you. Tell him you need to get married, or you need to break up and give him 90 days to make good on either option. if he doesn't marry you within 90 days, leave. Be a better role model to your kids.

Answer 7

He needs to wake up. I do not understand why couples with children do not get married. It's difficult to plan goals. My brother in-law has been with his girlfriend three years with a 1 year old.

It appears to me that he has some reservation about marrying you. Has he ever told you that. I would tell him that marraige is very important to you and the children. So much so.. that you would risk being without him. If that doesn't work then be prepared to leave him.

Answer 8

I have to ask. Is it more about a fairy tale marriage or a fairy tale wedding that makes you want it so bad?

Answer 9

What's wrong with your man? Eight years? Yes honey, get serious and frank and bold and let him know you want to be made an honest woman and if you don't get what you want, you're walking and taking those kids with you! If he really loves you and wants you to be a family, he'll make it work!

Answer 10

if he didnt asked u to merry him in 8 years i think now its a little be late for him.i mean he will never ask you,im sorry to say that but ive saw many people who spend years and never get married.if he wanted that he had to ask u a long time ago,maybe he doesnt know what he wants............i say u should ask him