Should I change jobs, or should I stay? Boss's wife makes my life at work hell about 60% to 70% of the time

Question

I have been with my employer for 8 years, its a small business so its a lot like family. However, my boss's wife just came back into the office 2 years ago. I am (was) the office manager/supervisor. As you can imagine she can't stand it that i know the answer to almost everything that goes on, & that i hardly ever make mistakes, & when she does they are huge and blow up. She is a micro manager thats slowly taking over her husbands business. They wonder why our sales are down. She constantly picks on us with the way we do things & trying to change them, & then after a couple months when they aren't working she goes back to the way we were doing them before she came. I am totally unhappy here. I am 27 and work in the insurance biz, I have both my licenses I could go anywhere & probably make more money, but i don't have a degree i have 8 years of experience. I am comfortable with my knowledge, yes i would like to make more money but i mainly want to be able to start a family next year

Plus not to mention the starting over with vacation times, benefits, and sick time. In the mean time more money could mean i could pay off my bills fast to be able to begin that family a little sooner, but it would be extremely hard to leave. You see they sold their house to me recently for a really low price, awesome deal, giving me a gift of equity, and he used to do all kinds of stuff. My husband thinks she is jealous cause my boss comes to me with questions and not her. Frankly i don't like the drama, I am tired of not looking forward to coming to work, and dreading it! On the other hand starting over somewhere is scary too, and going for interviews, I wouldn't want my current employer to know so how do i do that. & I would need to give like a 3 week notice, I am so loyal, but it honestly would possibly hurt his biz for a little while when i leave because the only other people besides him and his wife, is a girl thats only been here a year, & is still pretty green around the ears.

Answer 1

She is absolutely jealous of you!

If you don't want to leave your job, which I'm sure with your experience you can find a good opportunity, even without your degree. However, it wouldn't hurt you to get your degree, but we'll save that lecture for another day....

Really, I have found that the best way to deal with these people who are feeling insecure is to equip them with some knowledge. You really do need to kill her with kindness and reverse the roll on her....It might be very very difficult but if you try bending over backwards to be nice to her, offer some help to her etc., you will notice a change....

I do think though that sometimes we get very comfortable in our jobs.....don't sell yourself short. I'd put a resume together if I were you and start looking at other opportunities. I'm sure you have what it takes to be successful. If you are truly unhappy, don't let yourself get trapped into staying in a situation what may or may not get any better.

You're dealing with too many issues...yes, getting a resume together can be challenging, but you can do it. There are resume writing services out there.

Going to interviews is scary, but there are books and websites to help you prepare...

You don't HAVE to give 3 weeks notice... You can take the time off for your interviews with your vacation time or claiming an "appointment"..... It's none of their business.

Don't get scared into staying there if you are truly unhappy....life is very very very short.

Oh, and one more thing....I spent my entire career in the military. I came out and have landed every job I've interviewed for....I went from 30 days of paid leave down to 2 weeks....The tradeoff is the pay and other benefits.... You'll work out those issues..I'm rooting for ya! Good Luck!!!
Good Luck.

Answer 2

Find a new job. In an industry like yours, being fully licensed with 8 years of experience should be more than enough to offset not having a degree.

You're young enough where you have too much time working to have to put up with this stuff. If you aren't happy, go find somewhere else better.

Answer 3

Melissa, Here's a good idea. You don't need college to start your own underwriting company. There are tons of ex-employees that are freelance agents now. Start-up would be cheap and the only things you're missing are advertising and an office to work out of. There's nothing like holding the reigns! If she wants to run it into the dirt then let her and move on.

Answer 4

I would begin by speaking with your boss about his wife. He is interested in making money, so any suggestions (like cutting out the wifey) will help. You just have to be careful. If he doesn't like it or his wife finds out who did it, you will be out. I would begin to look for other jobs. I had to get out of my last job. Those people ruined my life! You should never stay somewhere you are unhappy if you can get out. Run! Run away! But have a chat with the boss first.

Answer 5

It's your responsibility to look out for your own best interest, the boss is going to tell you what's best for the company not what's best for you. If it's about the money and your present employer can't or won't pay you what you believe you deserve and another company will then I'd say it's time to move on

Answer 6

You need to look out for yourself not the boss. At your age you can go someplace and make a career out of it.Think about YOUR future and find a place you enjoy working and stay there. I'm sure that you've heard that life goes by fast - well, it does and you need to start thinking about your future NOW. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

you want to bypass for your mother and father first and clarify what's occurring. Your previous melancholy is basically that... interior the previous (i anticipate). they're going to be on your area and help you strive against this creep. A blackmailer loses all power at the same time as his tries at blackmail are revealed to the international.

Answer 8

Hang in there a little longer and put your resume out on the web. Interview after work or on days off. With your licenses, I am sure you will find something.

Answer 9

you spend so much of your waking time at work so there is no point in feeling this miserable

start looking for another job - hang in there until you find one that looks interesting and fits with your goals - dont grab the first one you see - you could be moving from frying pan to fire

then resign, leave happily and with everything tidy