My 14yr old daughter wants a tatoo for christmas..help me put her off?

Question

she lives wityh her father in clacton and he,s agreed.. i really need to find the right way of changing her mind.

Answer 1

get her dad to forbid it
show her horrible pictures of tattoos and what it'll look like when she's old and saggy

Answer 2

This is probably the last thing you want to hear. The fact is she's 14. Once a child gets to age 12 parents begin losing control, typically, very fast. Most modern day parents fail to have the discipline themselves much less the ability to discipline their children.

The additional fact that she comes from a broken family exacerbates this problem. Pile on top, the fact that her father is, at the very least, going along with this. This is the typical divide and conquer strategy I've seen countless kids deploy upon their divorced/separated parents.

The kids use the parents as a wedge to get what they want. Somehow they justify that but it's really just rationaLIES.

Couple all this with the fact that, typically, the more a parent talks the less a child listens (or anyone for that matter). And you're in a mess. But you already knew all this huh?

So what to do? Talk with her father maybe. See if he'll reverse his position on the tatoo nonsense. Plainly (and honestly) tell your daughter where you stand and how you feel about tatoos. If courage dictates, tell her this is simply unacceptable. I personally, would come up with penalties for her decision to get a tatoo should she choose to go ahead with it.

One would be that I wouldn't support her, in any way, toward getting a car, paying for insurance, maintenance or fuel when she gets to driving age. This is a negotiation and you've got to play hardball. The car issue usually folds in the parents favor since they're the one footing the bill. Do what works for you.

If you fail to take a stand your daughter will learn from this experience and treat other's (yourself included) with this new paradigm of perspective many years into her future. People need to learn that certain things are unacceptable and who better than to teach that than Mom or Dad?

The third option (besides Dad and you) is to get some guy like me to 'casually' comment to her how stupid tatoos are. It should be someone she looks up to. I personally wouldn't even date someone who has tatoos. They are graven images that deface the body. If someone's self-esteem is so pathetic that they have to get a tatoo (to feel cool or whatever) I would never want to be in a committed relationship with them.

Maybe, other family members, grandparents could help. Best of wishes. And Merry Christ-mass!

Answer 3

Well, it's illegal for a start, and no decent tattooist would risk their reputation by tattooing a 14 year-old. You could try explaining to her father that the only places that will do it for her are the unhygienic horrible ones, and see if that doesn't change HIS mind!

The only other thing I can suggest is that you try the reverse psychology thing and tell her how much you'd LOVE to have matching tattoos, so maybe you could go together? If it backfires though, you're stuffed.

Maybe suggest you go with her to have it done then you can either:

a) make sure she gets something small and discreet

or b) tell the tattooist she's 14 so they refuse to do it.

Suggest a) is probably the best option , because if she really wants it doing, she'll only go somewhere else and not tell you.

Good luck

Answer 4

I got my tongue pierced on my 18th birthday. I guess I just wanted to do something to celebrate my new legal adulthood that wasn't too flashy or permanent. But I was living on my own... if I was under my mom's roof I would of told her I was doing it before hand. I actually saw her later and showed her right away.. she thinks I'm crazy, lol. The day I came home from the hospital from having my son I took my piercing out. I realized I would never want my mother to have that kind of piercing... and I'm sure my son wouldn't want that either! That said.. I would NEVER let my 14 year old do that! Or 17 year old! It's the kind of thing I feel like as parents that we can't condone. Whether you think it's fine or not eventually to do it... you can't allow a 14 year old to do it. Tongue piercings come with risks. If they hit a nerve it can paralyze your tongue... it can get infected. Some people have very swollen, tender tongues for weeks and speak with a lisp. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my kids doing that under my watch. Sending them off to school with a swollen tongue, gargling Listerine every hour hardly able to speak... and "oh yea! my mom let me do it!" I don't plan on being "the friend mom", lol. If they were 18 I wouldn't have a problem with it cause at that age legally they are adults and I expect after 18 years of parenting I've done what I could do already.. it's their turn to make their decisions. Until then... nope! I'd say only ears till 18.

Answer 5

Explain to her and her father that is illegal. You have to be 18 to have a tatoo and reputable tatoo artists will ask for ID. If her father is willing to consent to it I think he needs a reality check. Tatoos are permanent, you hear all sorts of horror stories. Ask her what if it goes wrong? What if she gets an infection? What if it looks appaling? Explain to her that she has to live with it forever and there's no harm in waiting until she's older. I had my first tatoo at 28 and even then it was only my daughters name on the lower back. Explain that it hurts like hell!!!

Answer 6

I say that you have say in this also. I think it is a definite no. I am not against tattoos as I have 2 of them. Tell her the fact she wants a tattoo is not a bad idea it's that she needs to wait a while. You need to let her know that what she wants now may be something she might not think is that cool when she's 20. Maybe you could persuade her to put if off a while and do this together when you two can agree on the right time.

Answer 7

When my daughter wanted her first piercing (I know this is tattoo but same principle) we told her that she had to do research on the subject...what's involved in getting one, what to look for in a parlor and staff, why she wants it, what she wants, the chances of infections, the results of a tattoo gone wrong, the problems a tattoo can pose especially if put in a place where people can view it, methods of removal if she decides she no longer wants it and the pain/discomfort involved in both application and removal. Why there is an age restriction and what it is, etc.

Any other questions you feel are pertinent...tell her this research paper is required before any decision will be made further. If she says dad already ok'd it, tell her that yes, but she lives in your home as well and you prefer that she be well informed on every aspect of this so that she and you can be comfortable that the right decision will be made, either for or against.

Good luck, she may end up deciding, as my daughter did, that she's better off to wait.

Answer 8

The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/C4dEa

Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.

Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.

She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!

Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!

Answer 9

A reputable tatooist will not give a tatoo to anyone under the age of 18!!! Not even with parental consent!! I would explain to your daughter, that you are all for her having one, but she needs to finish growing first otherwise she is going to end up with a very stretched version of what she initially wanted! By the time she is 18 it's going to look awful!! This is the main reason tatooists wont do it if you are under age! Also the pain factor. Tell her to imagine someone scrapping a pin, relatively hard, up and down on the same spot for about 20 minutes!! It IS sore!! Good luck!!

Answer 10

Well I found these site that might help you. I also am under the impression that at 14 even with parental consent you can't legally get a tattoo in a legit tattoo parlor. I believe you must be 16. You may also want to explain that at 14 her body isn't finished growing yet, so her tattoo would be come distorted and that removal is quite expensive and painful as well. So she should wait. Also my guidelines that my now deceased dad gave me was
1. Make sure you will want it when your say 90 years old. (so it must be meaningful).
2. Get it somewhere discreet that it can be hidden easily.
One of my site sources is one that talks about checking local laws, etc.

Answer 11

They won't do one for her anyway, it is against the law even with parental consent! If she did want to get one then your ex would have to lie about her age for her. I have 4 tattoos of my own, which I didn't get until I was 18, 20 and 22. She needs to think about what she wants, and that might be different now to what she wants in 5 years time. And does she really want to follow the crowd? Show her some pictures off the internet of what can hapen when tattoos go wrong and get infected and disgusting. Just type tattoos gone wrong in the search engine and you should get some pretty gruesome pictures.