My wife and i have a 6 month old and since the baby she has been a healthy 40 ponds heavy than i have ever seen her. The worst part is that she is so determined to get the weight off. I love the extra pounds, and prefer the extra meat on her bones. She was never really super skinny. She always has been around 145-150 at 5' 8". the lowest was 130 and i hated it. now that she is a curvy 185 i never want her 145 again. Should i push for her to keep the weight for me even if she hates it. I don't want to be a jerk, but i like the extra weight and i know that if i lay off and she looses it then i'll hate it. should i let it go and let her loose it so she is happy with herself, or keep after her to keep it on. I think she may think i am only saying i like so she won't stress about loosing it, but i really like it.
2006-12-19 06:59:31 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's her body, let her be the weight she wants.
2006-12-19 07:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the fact that your married gives you a little extra pull, but its still one of the most sensitive subjects you can possibly mention to a woman. If you loved her at 145 then when and if she gets back to that then you will love her still...
Either way it takes a LONG time and alot of determination to loose that kind of weight, so I just wouldn't push the issue, compliment her when she needs it and lay off when she is complaining. Chances are the weight will come off slowly and it will be a slow transition and you might not even notice, or she might just get too busy and give up on losing the weight in the first place. But in her eyes she is a whale, considering what we have to look at in Hollywood these days so losing even a couple pounds would make her feel better about herself, which after having a baby is the most important thing for a little while. Just think of it this way as she gets older she will probably gain all that weight back so you can enjoy her both ways...
2006-12-19 07:06:11 · answer #2 · answered by BeachLvr2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that you are for real about the weight. That you really do like it. And if she still wants to loose the weight then let her know that it would be OK to loose some but not all of it. There should be more men out there like you. This bull of a size 1 is not a real woman. A real woman can look good at a size 1 or a size 12. Good luck
2006-12-19 07:33:33 · answer #3 · answered by irishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she doesn't like the weight then she is not going to be happy. If she wants to lose it let her. It is much healthier for her to lose the weight then keep it on. Most women don't just sit with the extra 40 pounds they keep gaining. So the 40 pounds may turn into 80 pounds which is very unhealthy.
2006-12-19 07:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by adarmbruster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats actually really cool - alot of guys would fight with her because he wants her to lose the weight. Anyway, keep one important thing in mind: If a person, esspecially a woman, doesn't feel like she is attractive, she won't be as good in bed -
Tell her how beautiful she is at this weight, and ask her if its really important to her to lose the weight, or is she doing it so that you won't think badly of her? If she knows how you feel, maybe she would be okay with a happy medium, perhaps. Try it. But if it turns out that she's truly unhappy with the way she looks, it's best to try to understand that. A neurotic woman in bed is not gonna be any fun. It will make her feel horrible everytime you go there - and probably, she'll avoid going there at all cost. So don't guilt-trip her into keeping the weight, or you're gonna end up unhappy as well, trust me.
2006-12-19 07:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should be supportive but also let her know that you like her just as she is. But if she choses to not want to remain at that weight, that shouldn't prevent you from loving her her just the same. With weight a woman can look in the mirror and feel disgusted with the way she looks---to HERSELF. She might not feel comfortable being heavier especially if she is used to being a certain weight prior to the baby. I am sure there might be some things about you that your wife might 'tolerate' simply because you want to be that way (ie. body size, hair, etc.). So kinda be patient and love her anyways:)
2006-12-19 07:07:26 · answer #6 · answered by Chy O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would hate what she looks like? She is your wife. If she is 130 or 330 pounds you should love her for who she is. You can let her know you find her very sexy right now and love the way she looks but do not fight her on this. (not if you want to keep the family jewels in tact.....) She also has to love and accept her body, not just you.
2006-12-19 07:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by his temptress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont fight with her! If she is comfortable at a lighter weight then fine, if she stays at the 185 so be it. just tell her you love her no matter what but it is nice seeing her with a little "extra" on her bones. Dont give her a hard time about it. She has to be comfortable .
2006-12-19 07:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her get on with her weight loss- with a new baby and hormonal changes, and changes in her body, it's possible she'll never get down to her original size. She might be happy to settle somewhere in the middle. Be a loving, complimentary husband and don't fight or nag her at all. Nature will take it's course.
2006-12-19 07:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no. leave her alone. she has to be happy with what she looks like. and you should be happy for her. as long as it doesn't develop into a disorder then leave her be. sometimes extra weight can make you feel bad as well as look bad. i know. i've been there. you feel like you can't function as well with extra weight. your clothes don't look right, you don't look or feel right to yourself and it can mess with your self esteem. be sensitive to her feelings and let her know she's beautiful to you no matter what. but keep an eye on her in case it gets out of hand. if she's breast feeing she has to be careful. the next time she goes to the doctor go with her and voice your concerns (not opinion, there's a difference) to her and the doctor. he can advise her and give her the best tips on dieting.
2006-12-19 07:24:51 · answer #10 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married her for who she was skinny or fat and everything in between? Right? if she want to be the way she was let her how ever her shape my never be quite the way it was yes I mean more curvy you want her happy let he give it a go ....you still love anyway
2006-12-19 07:07:07 · answer #11 · answered by cazzra1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋