Men with mistresses ( now or before): Is this true?

Question

A friend sent this to give me a laugh. True?
"Part of the reason why men don't marry their mistresses, deep down there is a mistrust by the man, and a fear of her power. After all, "This woman, this mistress, is willing to sneak around and see me in secret, even fren' up and talk to mi wife, what a deceitful cunning witch she is, how could I ever trust her?" or "My God, what a sexual being she is, how could I ever trust her, after a while she nuh muss tired of mi and find another man when I can't satisfy her?" "How could she ever trust me, knowing that I spent years sneaking around behind my wife's back, how could I live with that guilt?" What an irony.They are masters, make that mistreses of guilt, deceit and deception. Same knife stick sheep stick goat and all that. That's why they also say that you have wife material and you have mistress material.The reality is if your car gets old and worn out and you rent one in the interim, you don't buy the rental, do you, but opt to buy new.

My husband recently called to say that he and the girlfriend split up. I said, "That's nice. I can't talk, I have a date. Your mom's babysitting" Bad, nut I couldn't resist!

Answer 1

The only person responsible for a "worn out" marriage is myself. It is up to me to do my part to keep it fresh. Just as it is the responsibility of a car owner to do the maintenence to keep his car running well, it is up to me to put forth an effort into the marriage I have running in perfect tune. Anything less than that means any new relationship will fail for the same reasons. It lacks understanding by me to do better.

Unless I understand what is wrong inside of myself, I could wander the earth looking for answers that do not exist in others. As long as I avoid the truths of my own fears there will exist a need inside of me to search for better circumstances to avoid looking at myself for change. The first wife in your example did not cheat yet it did not prevent the man from looking to others for the answers of why he is unhappy. That should have been the very first clue that maybe it's not her..... MAYBE IT'S HIM.

People make mistakes and choose their mate based on reasons that were total illusions. True character in a man admits he made a mistake and free her to have a chance to be happy too. Go do what you want but be a man and end your existing relationship so she can have a life. (Here-in lies the real mis-trust. " I want something better but I don't trust myself to be happy with a new life situation..... if I fail again I can fall back on the old one." ) It's a whole lot easier to change myself than it is to mold another into a fantasy of how I think they should be... but most men are afraid to try.

Answer 2

No. I don't think it was ever socially "accepted" for a married man to have a mistress. I'm sure the same type of men who have mistresses today had mistresses then but because wives were much more dependent on their husbands, and felt so much more familial obligation, they just put up with it, or made excuses as to why it was ok. I see this alot in Mexico. It seems to be quite common for wealthy men to have a family and lots of children, and have a mistress and another family on the side. My neighbor's father has over 18 children with several different women of varying ages. And they all go to each others' homes. Weird. Even in the dark ages, when it was common place to have several wives or mistresses, it seems to me that the only ones accepting of such an arrangement have been men.

Answer 3

There is a certain degree of truth to that story. I have never had a "mistress," but I have had many affairs with married women. Although I was happy to be a friend with benefits, I always viewed them as "deceitful cunning little witches."

Answer 4

Sometimes the mistress is great in bed but is not much of conversationalist. Maybe the things that would make a marriage work are missing from the relationship with the mistress. I was married and I had a mistress but my wife was gay. While I had lots in common with my wife sex was not one of them.

Answer 5

Not true. A mistress is a toy, a novelty something to screw and something to have a fantasy about. Mistresses don't fit into the real world. Once the mystery and novelty are gone, a mistress is gone.

Answer 6

no clue

I only fantasize about having a mistress.

The secret stuff is interesting but is a bad idea.

If any situation like this involved my mom, she would have all the bad folks sick with guilt, and she would be feeding and clothing and nuturing the good folks. Within minutes. My mom is like a saint.

Answer 7

I THINK ALOT OF THIS IS PROBABLY TRUE.SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE I HAVE BEEN ON BOTH ENDS, SO TO SPEAK. AS A MISTRESS THERE IS ALWAYS THE TRUST ISSUE, AND THE EMOTIONAL POWER TO BLACK-MAIL, NOT TO MENTION THE OPTION TO CHANGE FISH MID-STREAM.
AS A WIFE WE PROBABLY HAVE BEEN MISTRESS AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER, SO WE KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR, AND WE USUALLY HOLD ENOUGH POWER OF OUR OWN , NOT TO BE TOO WORRIED!

Answer 8

This makes sense, I agree. I would never marry a man who'd had an affair with me while he was still married. What he does in his personal life is none of my business, but I simply wouldn't trust him enough to marry him. So, it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't trust ME enough in this situation. Which is quite alright with me.

Answer 9

Yes, it is true in some cases; but sometimes it is as simple as the man just wants sex with the other woman, and nothing else.

Answer 10

YOur lucky the husband even cares. I dropped my first wife like a sack of potatoes and never called the biotch again.