I am 24 years old and married my husband who is 38 years old for 5 years.When we met i was interning for a job in PR.Now i am just a house wife of 4 years with little or nothing to do most of the time because there is a maid who will clean and cook if asked. My husband takes good care of me giving me whatever ever i want i drive a nice car BMW and nothing is really off limits on what i can buy if i want it. I try my best to please him i am 5 ft 7 and 115 pounds so i keep fit and i take good care of myself.We have sex 3 to 4 days out of the week usually 3 rounds each but he has still had three affairs.I found out about he had another affair and flipped said i was going to divorce him.He got mad and threw me down got a garbadge bag threw some of my stuff in it took me by my hair to the door yesterday. He know apologized and promised to go to therapy?Friends say is because we dont have a pre-nup?
2006-12-19 06:41:58 · 20 answers · asked by Cally M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I still love him though i just dont want him to cheat on me!I really want things to work but dont think i can trust him?
2006-12-19 06:44:00 · update #1
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater! I am sure he is pissed that there is no prenup. I say divorce his *** and take his *** to the bank!
2006-12-19 06:46:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be one of the most difficult decision you will have to make. Ask yourself "can I deal with this if my husband doesn't stop cheating on me for the next 5 years?"
You cannot change another person, you've been married for 5 years and he's had at LEAST 3 affairs, then he abuses you. He does not love you. He is very disrespectful and is afraid you will divorce him and go after alimony. Well, get all the proof you can about him committing adultery, divorce him and you can get a wonderful settlement!
Don't fall for his lies. He is not trust worthy. You deserve to be treated better. You deserve to have a happy and wonderful relationship. Get rid of him!!!! I would leave my husband if I found out he was even KISSING another woman, I don't tolerate that crap. By staying with him, it shows that you allow such activities.
2006-12-19 06:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I am really sorry to hear that. 1. that you would want to stay with a man that in no way respects you. you are no better than his dog. 2. It seems that you have been bought and sold, where is your self worth, your self respect, your self esteem. 3.That you think that his attitude is about a pre- nup and not just that he has no home training or class. Get up and get a hold of yourself girl !! If he does it once and gets away with it believe me it will only get more frequent and worse. Is your father in your life? Do you have any brothers? Was there a male figure in your life to teach you show you how special and precious you are. Your are one in a million honey, he has to be a jerk to not know that. What is keeping you there besides money , insecurity, shame, guilt and the vows that he broke once he put his hands on you and cheated on you. He has cheated on you and you continue to take him back, what do you think that says to him. "walk all over me, because I love you" BULL CRAP. Get yourself up and get a way even if only for a month or two. get out of that situation NOW or you will regret it. It is time to be a WOMAN and not a girl !!
2006-12-19 06:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jan l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, thats a sad situation you are in. I don't know if he is lying but you need to leave him. You are a better person then that. You don't deserve to let anyone treat you like that. If you still love him and want to be with him, ask him to get the help BEFORE you go back. Have him show you he means it. But why would you stay if he has had 4 affairs? It don't make since to me. You will find someone who loves you enough to treat you with respect. You cant trust him because he already broke the trust.
2006-12-19 06:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by Randa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to find a good therapist and tell him/her all of this. First of all, you are with an abusive man who controls you. Why do you permit that? You should be able to continue working outside the home. People don't work just for money, you know. They work to fulfill their needs. If he's having affairs, he could give you an STD (if he hasn't already...get to a doctor and find out, some don't have early symptoms). You stay with this abuser because you don't have a prenuptial agreement and you don't want to lose his wealth???? That is crazy. There is no amount of money that would tempt me to trade it for my self-respect. Get into therapy, but be prepared to dump this guy. He is not a good husband and you probably should not stay in this sick marriage.
2006-12-19 06:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if your husband of five years is throwing you around when you find out he's cheating on you then he's probably lying to you right now and doing it again. If he's had 3 affairs already, i would say leave...why are you still with him? not to sound rude or anything, but i think any woman who stays around for that has some problems to begin with. even if he apologizes and says he's going to go to therapy, what makes you think the next time you find out something he's hiding from you, it won't be worse? next time he'll probably hospitalize you or something. I think he's lying to you and it's not that he doesn't love you it's just the way he is and it's a habit he'll never break...so get out while you can.
2006-12-19 06:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by lildrumagrl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, for starters he shouldn't be throwing you down, throwing your stuff in a garbage bag & especially taking you by your hair to the door. HE IS PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE. If you end up forgiving him or staying with him, how are you going to make him stay faithful to you? yet, never to hurt you like this again? physically? You should seek help from family instead of internet.
2006-12-19 07:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn mamita that is a big problem, because once a man cheats on u that many times, he is not planing to stop i can see if it was one time but that is just to much, and u should be better then that ! no man should ever put his hands on u , or hurt u , pull you hair let another female have his ***.. cause u sound like a good person and should get someone to treat you good ok mama good luck with that
2006-12-19 06:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by itz_nena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. YOU WERE A FREAKIN' CHILD WHEN HE MARRIED YOU. Where I come from, 19 year olds generally don't get married. Get the **** outta there. You deserve a good guy. YOU'RE STILL YOUNG. You'll find true love. And as an adult, now, you'll probably make better decisions about a partner!
2006-12-19 07:39:43 · answer #9 · answered by rustyreacharound 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't help you. Sorry, you still love him after how he treated you, had affairs, threw you down, your crazy honey! Pure crazy! That would be enough for me. I'm done! Walk out the door!
2006-12-19 06:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will never change. your friends are prolly right. either you accept him the way he is and get on with it, or you leave him, but while he is at work. otherwise he is going to cut you up into little pieces and feed you to the sharks. noone will ever see or hear from you again. do you want that?
2006-12-19 06:49:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋