Am 53 been married 26 years and have not had sex with hubby for over 5 years as he has no interest.
2006-12-19 06:34:29 · 54 answers · asked by rosy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are ALWAYS strings attached.This person you like at work has played on your vulnerability possibly picking up details about your family relationships to start an affair with you but this will be unlikely to make you happy in any lasting or meaningful way.remember you will have to face them daily at work once the affair has ended you will be unhappy at home and unhappy at work there will be no escape also other people at your workplace will inevitably find out about it and any respect they have for you will be lost.
You have a need which we all share a need to be loved and wanted. I would ask you please to reconsider, join a group of friends that have a common interest,enrol in an evening class,join a book club or a music group anything that will allow you to meet other people with the same interests as you,if you happen to start a relationship with someone in the group then its away from work and away from home.I would also ask you to not allow your husbands indifference to rob you of your self esteem,If he no longer wants you to be a full partner in his life then leave the loser and get on with the rest of your life,but most of all please don't start an affair with a person from work.
2006-12-19 07:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by Mutley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think its a good idea. I think you should try to work out your marriage...26 years of marriage is a long time for you to throw it away. I don't understand why you hubby wouldn't want sex for over 5 years...is he fooling around somewhere else? That's just too weird for me especially for a guy. Tell him to go to the doctor to get some Viagra. Work things out with your husband...you have needs too, demand it! A married relationship cannot survive without sex because the other person might just look for it somewhere else and end up cheating. If he's not willing to work with you on this then I suggest you take other measures...your 53 not 83 your still active. If he's not willing to work it out then I suggest you leave him(divorce) and find someone else.
2006-12-19 06:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by ♪♫♫♪ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well....I guess you could. Your over 21 and free. But what about that investment you have made over the last 26 years?? Does it mean anthing to you?? How about the security your husband has provided your Family or maybe the time he has invested as well??
I'll give you a hint from God!! You are either "Right" or "Wrong" and there is no "In-Between". The Bible also says "Thou shalt not commit Adultery"!! There is nothing in the Bible that says, Well....only if your never found out or caught.....then it's okay!
Of course, there is that one question, "How would you feel if your Husband did the same thing to you"?? Just keep in mind, it goes both ways.
I trully hope that you will think on this and when you have thought about it long enough, you'll know your path.
2006-12-19 06:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by dontwobears@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT CHEAT! for you will pay for it in the end, you being married for 26 years, I expect you to be a good role model to other married couples out there, especially the young ones. You posting this message on here doesn't make society think that being faithful in a marriage is important at all. If you are planning an affair, you might as well DIVORCE your husband first before doing anything. I don't think he deserves to be hurt in this process, I wish you would try harder & making your sex life work instead of giving up. SHAME ON YOU.
2006-12-19 06:44:50 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess you have to look at all the angles of this affair if you start it. Are you prepared for all the reprocussions that will come from it if you are found out? Even if you get away with it, you are still have to live with your decision to cheat on your husband. Be prepared for all the emotional feelings that will come with that. You will also find that you suddenly have a serious jealousy streak in you. That just comes with being a cheater.
Obviously your husband still loves you because you have been married for so long, 25 years and he is still with you.
What is the reason besides he has no interest in sex? Are there physical problems? weight gains? no creativity in the bedroom? Maybe you should take a look at yourself and perhaps you may come to a better understanding why you dont have sex anymore.
Everyone gets tired of the same thing after a long while, but it is up to you both to find new and interesting ways to show your love both in and out of the bed.
You will have all the problems that will occur after your fling with whoever it is you choose to sack up with. You may not see them right away, they will be there.
What if the one you are thinking about agrees and you find out you are just another notch in his belt or worse you end up with some sexual disease.
What if your place of employment finds out that you are putting to bed thier employees, knowing full well that you are married.
It could cost you your job or you could end up being the laughing stock of the workplace for doing something so stupid.
In the end, you will make your own choice. Hopefully you consider how many people you will hurt, including your children if you have them... when and if they find out you cheated on thier dad.
Believe me, there is a scripture in the bible that seems to hold true. "Be sure your sins will find you out." Choose wisely lady, choose wisely. You have been warned.
2006-12-19 06:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by Hawksflyn2u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why haven't you had sex with your husband for over 5 yrs???? How is he getting "satisfied"? How do you know your husband isnt getting it already from someone else? You need to have a talk with your husband. He has to understand that you have needs and if he doesnt want to fulfill those needs how does he want you to fulfill them? Does he love you? Do you love him?
As to whether you should have this affair. Well no you shouldnt. If after you sat down and had a serious talk with your husband and he still doesnt want to be sexually with you and does not offer good alternative maybe you just shouldnt be with this man. Just because you've been married to him for 26 yrs it does not mean you have to spend the rest of your life with him. You are still young and you're entitled to be happy with someone who makes you happy. Life is too short enjoy it while you can.
There are other things he can do to you maybe a little toy, vibrator, etc...
Hope it works out for the best. Happy Holidays!
2006-12-19 11:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by LD82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such things as a "no strings" affair. When they begin they have to end - either in divorce (maybe you are found out by the other persons spouse...) lose your job (hey honey guess what happened to me at work today) or some other scenario. It's tough but you do need to talk to your husband about your needs. Probably more attention from him (I think that is what you found at work - someone who is attentive - complimentary - etc) and you are willing to Risk everything to have those few hours of pleasure. It sounds like fun but you need to fix your marriage. Talk to your husband (get a vibrator)maybe he will tell you to go ahead. Then all you have to worry about is getting pregnant, STD, or shot by a jealous wife. It may also break up the other persons home. Not pretty.
2006-12-19 06:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Counselling is the way for you to go here, an affair at work is not...as most of my fellow postee's have pointed out to you. It seems as though its just a sex thing for you, so seeing a sexual therapist may help you both with that problem. Someone replied that when there are no strings attatched...there ARE strings attatched...very true-plus the guilt you would feel after the moments of pleasure will be enormous for you-can you handle that guilt after 26 years of marriage?-i think not...unless you have done this before of course:-/
2006-12-19 22:30:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't your husband interested??
I'm more shocked you need to ask this question then about considering the affiar. Wanting intimicay is perfectly understandable in your case, but needing to ask about it...? It seems as if you are looking for attention.
Obviously if you have to ask people at Yahoo Answers, then you already know it is a mistake. Are you hoping people will give you permission for something you know is wrong or are you that weak that you have to have perfect strangers provide your morals?
I'm not saying don't have the affair, I'm just saying make it about you not what people tell you.
1. Work on yourself. 2. Work on your marriage.
Read the Care and Feeding of Husbands
2006-12-19 06:48:15 · answer #9 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a really insane idea. I mean, first of all you are planning to commit adultery, second of all, if the guy decides he doesn't want you anymore, you could end up working with him all the time and hating him, making working conditions awful. You might have to go find another job!! If your hubby has no interest in sex, you need to find out why. Is he depressed? (Antidepressants could help.) Is he impotent? (Cialis is a wonder drug for that! Get him to the doctor.) Is your marriage stale? (Jump start it! Buy two plane tickets to a beach resort and give him the tix for Xmas. Go and revitalize your marriage.) Good luck!
2006-12-19 06:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋