Feeling blue after having a baby?

Question

My baby was born on November 30th and although I am so happy he's here I feel really blue.

I'm very tired, not sleeping, forgetting to eat and it sounds silly but I miss being pregnant!! I miss feeling my baby inside me, miss seeing my (wonderful) midwife and feeling cared for by everyone around me.

Is this postnatal depression? Did anyone else feel this way? I love my baby so much but I just feel so down!

Answer 1

To a certain extent, a lot of what you are feeling is all too normal after having a baby - it's the stuff no-one prepares you for.

It's natural to miss being pregnant; you were the focus of all that hope and excitement and expectation, and now that's over and the baby's become the focus instead. Plus now you have a real, live baby to look after, which may be quite different from the baby you fondly imagined.

Add into all of this the inevitable sleep deprivation, the feelings of inadequacy that most new mums experience when they've never looked after a baby before and have to learn all these new tasks so quickly, the fact that it probably feels like there's no time for you for even basic stuff like eating or a shower.... Well, no wonder you, and many other women, feel blue!

However, it's only sensible to keep a close eye on things to make sure that feeling blue isn't turning into being clinically depressed. If you start to find
- that you can't sleep at all, even when the baby's asleep
- or conversely that your are sleeping all the time
- that you feel hopeless or despairing
- that you constantly have negative thought patterns and low self-esteem
- that you are crying a lot
- that you feel you can't cope

then you need to get yourself some help and should make an appointment with your GP. When you go for your 6 week postnatal check, do mention how you are feeling if things haven't improved, but don't wait until then if you're really struggling.

Have you met your Health Visitor? If you get on well with her, she may be a great source of support and could perhaps drop by every so often to see how you are doing.

Answer 2

I can really associate with all of your feelings. My baby was born on July 31 and I still get my down days. I think the hardest part is not being the one everybody worries about, because it's the only time you get fussed about!

I also missed my doctor, at the end he felt like part of the family. I even told my hubby we'll have to make an appointment just to go check on how he's doing!

If your having postnatal depression, I won't know! I also wondered if I've got it, but I'm too scared mentioning it, because people might think I'm being silly!

All your feelings are so familiar, I'm still not eating, I just don't get round to it. If the baby sleeps you have so little time trying to get all the other stuff done, that time runs out.

You can e-mail me if you want, because sometimes you just need someone to listen!

Answer 3

I was diagnosed with Post-natal depression and have been on Fluoxetine tablets for about 8 months.
It sounds like it could be the baby blues which can last a few weeks. How long have you felt like this, was it from day 1 or happen later on?
i felt awful before i was on my meds, i didnt eat, was crying for no reason then getting more upset because i didnt know what i was crying about. I didnt eat, and when i woke up in the morning i just thought "oh god, why me i just want to stay here and die!" i didnt want to do anything. everything single thing was an effort and i had no real attachment to my baby except the thought of launching her out of the nearest window but luckily i wasnt ill enough to actually do it!
My midwife was very supportive and she diagnosed me. It was a huge relief, i actually cried when i realised i wasnt just cracking up!
if you are getting those types of feelings go see your midwife now! the longer you leave it the worse it will get and you wont know you actually do have a problem!
good luck with it all

Answer 4

It sounds as though you have postnatal depression although I feel that a good nights sleep will probably help you. It is quite normal to feel low after having a baby - its a very stressful and emotional time. It is nice that you are missing your midwife, being a midwife myself I feel our job is often underrated both by new mums and the media. Have you got a health visitor you can speak to? If not see your GP who may suggest mild anti depressants to help you through this time. Have you got family/friends who could perhaps help one night with the baby so that you can get some sleep. Remember sleep when baby is asleep during the day if you can, forget housework etc for time being.
Please speak to someone face to face for help. Good luck and enjoy your baby, they are not small for long.

Answer 5

I felt the same way too after my son was born. Its completely normal and will get better. I was fine by the time my son was 4 weeks. Its hard adjusting to being a new mom and takes some time to heal and recoperate from birth. I was convinced I had postpartum depression but actually was just the baby blues. Try getting out a bit more and find out if you can have someone help out for a few days or a weekend. It helps a lot. My mother in law came and stayed with us and my spirit jumped. I felt not so alone and was able to relax while she took care of my baby. Its hard to go from the center of attention to nothing. Just remember that you created this little guy and thats the most important thing in the world to him.
If you continue to feel this way at your 6 week check up-talk to your dr/midwife.

Answer 6

this may not be postnatal depression...my doctor told me that postnatal depression is more if the depression you feel is affecting you bonding with your baby. if you feel like i did...that your baby is the only thing worth getting out of bed for then it's probably just the baby blues. keep a check on it though unless it escalates, and ask for someone to help look after the baby so you can get some sleep or just me time!

and yes 8 months old and i still miss being pregnant! to me he will always be my little baby and i feel happiest when i'm relaxed and cuddling him or feeding him. because i crave being close to him.

congratulations and don't make yourself feel bad even if the washing is piling up!

Answer 7

I felt this way three month after having my daughter i started not to eat drink or sleep. I spoke to my mother and midwife and said it was a type of post natel depression. It is nothing to be ashamed of nobody will say you don't love your baby any less because of this. The doctor told my that it is not of your control you cannot choose this it chooses you. It is just the drop in hormone because you are no longer pregnant if it doesn't pass and you are worried about it you could try talking to a doctor or taking some medication until the hormone balance has returned to normal in any case it will pass in time. Good Luck x

Answer 8

No, don't trust fateridd. Postnatal depression is horrible at the best of times and can be downright dangerous in a few cases if not treated.
Speak to your health visitor, go and see your doctor.
I wonder if you lost very much blood during the birth? That doesn't help.
If you are getting lower back or head pain as well, then I would suggest you see a craniosacral therapist or a cranial osteopath.
Do talk to your friends and family.
Do seek professional advice.
Don't suffer in silence.
Enjoy your lovely baby.
Jon C

Answer 9

Yes, nearly every pregnant woman goes through this. Part of it is caused from the rush of hormones leaving after having the baby. I didn't miss being pregnant until about a month ago (my daughter is 6 months) but I did go through a period of not really sleeping or eating. I thought about getting on an anti-depressant but since I was breast-feeding, I decided to hold off. About a month later, I snapped out of the funk...my husband, family, and friends helped me. I talked to them first and they did everything in their power to help me out so I didn't get worse. Talk to your family, tell them that you need their support again, now more than ever. Let them know how you're feeling and ask for their help. Congrats and best wishes!

Answer 10

I wold say it is normal . . . after each of my four births, I felt a bit blue. The tirednass and not sleeping, that is normal. I would say if you feel it is scary or dangerous how you are feeling then you should speak to your OB right away. I think it is normal to feel off for a month or two while your hormones are figuring out what is normal again. I distinctly remember feeling "empty" after delivering my babies . . . literally "empty". I think we have to refigure what our purpose is. Our purpose has been to carry this blessing to a full term, healthy delivery, but now what? Yeah diapers and baths and nursing or bottles, but what else. Just talk to your husband/boyfriend/Significant Other or a close friend and let someone know how you are feeling. It is not wrong how you feel . . . you and your body and your brain and your new job as a mother are all just feeling out the new balancing act. But, like I said, if you feel like it is any bit more that a little blue, I would speak to your OB right away.

Good Luck! and Congrats on your new blessing!