I invited my freind and his new wife of only 8 months to my firms christmas dance. My wife and my freinds wife really get on well and have done since the day they met two years ago. Two of my work colleauges swear they have been with her as recently as two to three years ago and were not very pleased to see her as they both had their wives with them. This puts me in a really awkward position. Should I tell my freind or not? After all this is my best freind, but I really like the girl and if I did tell my freind things could change and both he and she look so happy. But! what happens if my freind finds out I knew and diid't tell him, I would lose a freind I have known since I was five. What would you do?
2006-12-19 06:26:13 · 29 answers · asked by Redmonk 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK listen carefully. There are a lot of people that look-alike, you know that. I know someone that confronted a husband about his wife having an affair (there was no proof), it has now affected the teller and the tolds relationship.
I think it's best to have a quiet word with your friend. Just say you heard something awful and you feel it best he knows. Then tell him as gently as possible without telling him who the guys were. I also lost a friend for not telling her about rumours I had heard about her. It's a darn hard position to be in.
I hope you don't lose your friend.
2006-12-21 03:17:19 · answer #1 · answered by 2dog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these others are afraid because they were with a prostitute it is their problem.
At this point, you are dealing with hearsay and rumor. Your situation is this. You have no proof. You have no idea where your friend met her or what he knows. She is now married and presumably an honest woman who is no longer in the trade.
Keep your mouth shut. You really know nothing. That her past makes your co workers uncomfortable, well, they should have thought of that before this. Did they assume that prostitutes just fade away and never return to a normal family life? Its okay for them to hang out with prostitutes but only if they never show up in their life again? Tell these guys they are hypocrites. Tell them to keep quiet and so will you. If your friend or his wife ever want to let you in on their past or knowledge so be it.
Until then keep your mouth shut. You really do not know anything and can only do harm. There is nothing good that can come from you saying anything to anyone. As for the previous customers they have no reason to be upset with anyone.
2006-12-19 06:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you mention it on the quiet to the woman herself - tell her that you've heard the rumours of what she was and that you presume it was all in her past now that shes married and if she gives you her word that she doesnt dabble in it anymore then you see no reason to alert your friend.
Everyone has pasts - some we dont like - some of us have nothing to be ashamed of - but at the end of the day - you dont know what this womans story was - she could have been desperate for money etc etc
If they're happy now - I dont see the point in causing a rift. Just let sleeping dogs lie. xx
2006-12-19 22:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to your friends wife first to confirm the details! If she was a prostitute how do you know that she hasn't already told her husband? If she hasn't explain your situation to her and maybe she will tell him herself. I definitely would NOT jump the gun here and go ahead and tell your friend until you had all of the facts first or you could hurt a lot of feeling and even ruin a marriage.
2006-12-19 06:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Mystic 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say a word to him. Maybe he knows what she WAS and doesn't mind because it is her past. Maybe he met her while she was still a prostitute and in that case certainly wouldn't want anyone to know. If she was a prostitute and he doesn't know then telling him would make him very unhappy, if he is happy let it go.
2006-12-19 06:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you mates wife hasn't told him of her past , its becauseshe doesnt want him to know, so she wont let on to the other 2 sad men you work with or it will raise questions on how she knows them. The same applies to the sadoe's who went with the prossy, if they let on thier girls will ask questions too. If it did come out, serves them all right for being dirty old perves.
2006-12-20 08:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what makes you think he doesnt know? so what if she earns her living horizontally.... or did as the case may be.. i'd be more concerned that all my other mates and work colleauges were screwing around on their wives... will you tell the wives of their husbands infidelity...so dont be a hypocrite..
is your friend happy? yes... so leave him be.
2006-12-19 06:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that your friend already knows. Even if he doesn't, I wouldn't disturb a friendship over this. Maybe this woman has changed her life and maybe she and your friend are truly happy. Leave it alone. If it's true and he really doesn't know, he'll find out soon enough.
2006-12-19 06:39:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
your work colleagues sound like total jerks, that's what I think...how do you know they are telling you the truth? Maybe they are jealous of your best friend and want to sabatoge his relationship. I think you should tell them that you won't listen to evil gossip, and that if what they are saying is true, then obviously it's in the past.
2006-12-19 06:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's one thing if she was still working the streets. But in this case I'd keep my mouth shut. However, I would reevaluate your association with the two colleagues, that was poor judgment on their part to even bring it up to you.
2006-12-19 06:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋