My daughter is currently in a relationship with a guy who is 15 yrs her senior. Me and other family members have noticed that she seems to be scared of this particular guy. I have noticed lately that she seems to be really on edge. This guy goes by a nickname and I don't even know his real name. My daughter refuses to tell me and I don't understand why? One minute she's telling me things that suggest she is scared of him, and then when I try to talk to her about it, or ask questions about him she gets very defensive. What's the deal here. She stays out all night for days with him without even calling to let me know she is o.k. (she lives with me.) What do you all think is really going on here?
2006-12-19 06:25:42 · 11 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she is 21 years old. I'm thinking he might be involved in something illegal and that's why she doesn't want to reveal his name, but I'm not sure.
2006-12-19 06:32:55 · update #1
Unfortunately you can't force her to do anything. And trying to will likely only push her farther away. Your best bet is to reassure her that you will always be there to love/support/help her. Nothing she could ever do would make that change. Let her know she can come to you for help at anytime.
2006-12-19 06:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, since she is 21, you can't really do anything to her, like keep her at home, etc. But, you do need to try to talk to her and find out what is going on. Have you noticed any bruises on her arms or legs? If not, try to look at her more closely the next time she is around. I think she is scared of him because he has threatened her or is abusing her. Make sure she knows how much you love her and how concerned you are about her. The only thing you can do is to tell her that since she is living in your house, you have house rules and if she doesn't follow them, she needs to find another place to live. This is called tough love. She just may figure out that getting away from her abusive boyfriend is the right thing to do, because she has your love and support. Best of luck to the both of you!
2006-12-19 14:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by country girl 006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! Pull the plug on that one, you are letting your daughter hang out there like a piece of meat. Get that girl back home and tell that guy hes no good for taking advantage of a girl 15 years younger than he. That will end badly no matter what. If he doesnt understand why then hes definately up to no good!
2006-12-19 14:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by liddycaliente 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an abusive relationship to me! How old is your daughter and what in the world is she doing with a man 15 years her senior??
2006-12-19 14:28:54 · answer #4 · answered by Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she is being manipulated by him probably by money or jewelry and she doesn't want it to stop yet. She is young. If she lives with you take charge and demand she listen to you or if underage and he is much older, CALL THE COPS! That will stop all of this crap!
Tell her she has 2 choices.
Break it off with him now
Or
you will call the cops.
Good luck to you and her. Kick that guy to the curb!
2006-12-19 14:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be that your daughter could be pregnant. if shes trying to avoid being home, and she never calls, then maybe shes afraid of how you would feel. i know that when i found out that i was pregnant, i did everything that i could to stay away from home. i had talked to my mom after she found out, and she did the same thing with her mom when she found out that she was pregnant with me. or, maybe shes just going through that independent stage. just try to talk to her calmly when her day has been good. hopefully you'll get the answers you want. i wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-19 14:32:48 · answer #6 · answered by confused_1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how old she is? I think she is being abused on some level. If she is in school talk to the counselor maybe he is familiar with situation. If all else fails call the police maybe they have heard of him and can fill you in.
2006-12-19 14:31:08 · answer #7 · answered by smarj4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set her down, and dont let her go out.
this is seroius...she could be doing things you dont want her to do. i recommend you keep an eye on her, and keep her in the house. if she refuses, then the next time she goes out with him, go and follow where they go and see what she does, but don't be suspicious...ya, i kno it's like a detective thing lol.....give it a try....if it's going too far, then have her go to a place that'll help her.
hoped this helped.. =)
2006-12-19 14:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by googoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is ashamed of something she has done with or for him and of him in general. If there were nothing to hide, she wouldn't. I think the best thing you can do is stay calm and reassure her that you love her.
My curiosity wonders how old is she?
2006-12-19 14:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by bjsmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to talk your daughter openingly and find out what going on.
2006-12-19 14:41:07 · answer #10 · answered by Gee-Gee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋