Lost a friend in a car wreck....want his parents to know he saved my life?

Question

I was in a fatal car wreck 5years ago...the boy Michael Paris who died next to me had just switched seats with me minutes before the accident...he saved my life. His mom tried contacting me but at the time i was too much in shock and couldnt handle it I was only 15. I really want to get a hold of her and his dad and let them know he is my angel...I found his dads number but I dont want to call and freik him out...I cant find his moms address or number...How should I go about this?

Answer 1

If this is laying such a huge weight on you, you have to call him. When you do, work into the conversation gently.. tell him that there is something very important that you would like to tell him regarding the night of the accident. Also let him know that you would also like to say the same to his ex-wife (they are divorced, yes?) but you do not know how to get a hold of her. You can give him the choice of whether you tell him over the phone, in person, or in a letter, or even if he would rather not hear it. If he chooses not to hear it (I doubt that he would), then respect his choice and pride yourself in knowing that you tried, and give him your contact info in case he changes his mind later. Do the same with your friend's mom if his dad can give you any info on her whereabouts.

Even though the accident happened five years ago, keep in mind that this will be a very emotional experience for all of you, and any reaction is feasible. They could be glad, sad, or angry, but, no matter what, they will respect and appreciate that you came to them, even if it is not right at the moment that you tell them. Keep in mind that you need to be prepared for any reaction, and remain calm and respectful toward them if it is not the best reaction at first.

Good luck - you are very lucky to be alive, and there is a very good reason that you are. If there was not a good reason, you two never would have switched seats in the first place. The reason I say this is in response to the person who first responded - don't let what they said affect you or your decision to talk to your friend's parents.

Answer 2

I think it's great you want to connect with this family again. It probably be painful for everyone, but also healing. Make sure you have a trusted friend with you in case it gets too horrible. Call the Dad and ask if it's okay to meet with the family, this sounds like a face to face thing. And some hugging too. Best wishes.

Answer 3

I may be wrong, but I think you may not want to tell them that. I don't know his parents, or the situation, so I could be horribly wrong, but I don't know that it would be best to tell them that their son might not have died if he had just not switched seats minutes before the accident. If you do decide to tell them, then you should do it in person. Call ahead, let them know that you will be coming, and that you would like to talk to them. Chances are that they will want to talk to you.
I am really sorry that you had to go through this tragedy, and hopefully now you can all get a little bit of closure.

Answer 4

Freaking them out? NO, I bet everyday they think of this angel.
So why don't you think they would want to hear from you? It's painful for all of you, so you may as well say your sorry for taking so long to talk about it.

The dad should have the moms number. Talk to him first and then call her.

They've probably waited and wondered why you took so long.

DO it, and make them a Merry Christmas.

Answer 5

You have got to do it! Contact the dad and get the mom's info too so you can tell them both. They both deserve to hear their son was a hero! Watch out for bringing up past grief, but really this could so ease the healing they may still need.

Answer 6

Keep it to yourself. It is enough they lost a son they don't need a reminder of their lost. They may also take as you causing him to die because if he hadn't changed seats with you he would be here. It's a very emotional situation. One I think best to avoid. If you really feel compelled I would suggest getting their address and just sending them a letter expressing your feelings. In the letter you can leave them your number should they feel the need to talk to you.

Hope that helps.

Answer 7

I encourage you to make the effort. Contact the dad he will probably have the Moms information. The most important thing that these parents will need (want) to hear is that their son did not suffer.

You have the ability to bring a lot of peace to these people, and your angel would probably want you to do that.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

Seems to me that the parents are divorced? I would contact the father tell him how you feel and then ask for the mothers number to do the same. Or you could try the phone book or a family friend

Answer 9

its well written and from the heart we can sense your urgency and flood of emotions its important that you share these feelings with your friend but also all the more that you tell someone..that person's parents, teacher , priest...get some help for them...poems are touching but if someone is entertaining then its time to really reach out. That person is lucky to have such a caring friend in you.

Answer 10

maybe you can find out what happen and where she moved to if you know other relatives or maybe a neighbor. or call his dad and tell him that you want to meet with him and his wife. and talk to them both. tell them that you are reallly sorry for his lost, and that he was a hero for saving you, tell them how you feel deep inside. and im really sorry for your loss, and it really must be hard on you knowing that could of been you. be brave, good things will come your way. and im pretty sure your friend who died will want you to live your life to the fullest. take care.