Why do men have children and then don't often help support them in all ways, finacially,emotially ?

Question

it drives me crazy my ex husband does not help me with the kids since we divorce.I had to go after him for child suppor to ge anything. I just don't get it how can one be so selfish than to make sure your kids are ok.maybe he is just slacking in his responsibility because I am remarried and the kids have a great stepdad who takes care of them for him> I think it's sad that he would walk awaay from his kids and then not be there for them unless he wants to be on his terms.It should be for the kids sake and he should be less selfish.what do you think?

Answer 1

I have the same problem with my sons father. I have recently gotten married and he does absolutely nothing now. He was barely doing anything before. My son is 11 and its hard on him b/c all he has is me and my side of the family. I have a baby and stepdaughter who has two families, well my stepdaughter has 3 b/c my family treats her like she is my biological child. I feel he gets shortchanged all of the time. So, I look at it like this, his father is missing out not my son. I have tried everything to make this easy for my son but his father refuses to try. Just be a good mother to your kids and 4get about that low life.

Answer 2

I couldnt agree with you more. My ex lived less than 2 miles from us and never saw the kids. Always had an excuse to. Made promises to see them and never came through with them. I also had to go after him for child support and finally gave up on all of it. I just had to be both Mom and Dad to my two kids which is not easy. I also have no idea how any parent can just walk away without even looking back at their own kids. I did not have a stepdad for them, so it mattered even more that they saw him, but he never had the time or desire to see them. He remarried and had another child, which he is with all the time, I beleive due to the guilt he felt too late. Now they are grown and he is trying to re-establish a relationship with them, but not being very successful. My son calls him by his first name and my daughter is not sure who he really is. Not fair to the kids at all, but thankfully they did turn out ok.

Answer 3

I've seen both sides of this. My ex didn't have anything to do with his daughters until they were teenagers. Now he's enjoying them and his grandson. My husband's ex is so unreasonable and has taken him to court on bogus charges. He's afraid to continue seeing his daughter on a regular basis. My dad didn't see us much growing up, but my mom and dad were friends so when he did come see us, it was a friendly atmosphere. Some people won't let that happen. Too many people use children to "get back" at their ex and it's just sad. They don't realize how hard they make it on the "other" parent when they rant and rave everytime they try to see there child. Now, some people are just losers who really don't care, but most are driven away.

Answer 4

There are both, loser dad's and mom's.

I feel a man does this because men are immature and for some sick reason, they think the child support goes to the wife and she's having a ball on the support!!

It's BS of course. Kids don't even get enough support, let alone there be enough for mom/dad to be entertaining themselves!!

Don't give up the fight! It's great you have found a good man, who does take care of them, but the real dad HAS to step up to the plate and grow up and care for his children.

Answer 5

There are some men that take care of their children no matter what. But unfortunately there are dads that are deadbeats and sometimes we women get them. Yeah your ex should take care of his responsibility after all you did not make them by yourself. Even if you have a court order, you can't make them do something that they don't truly feel. You are very blessed that you remarried a man that understands the meaning of responsibility even though the children are not his.

Answer 6

You are right to wonder why, but your situation isn't uncommon. Sometimes it is the mother who is like this, but usually the father. I think that lots of fathers who neglect their kids are trying to avoid the ex-wife and it is the kids who suffer. Mothers also have a maternal instinct that can only come from carrying the child for 9 months and giving birth to them. It is a bond that only they can have. That isn't an excuse for a father to avoid the children, but an explanation for why it happens. At least they have a father figure that gives them the attention and support they are lacking from their father.

Answer 7

I found myself in a similar situation. Go through the attorney general's office in your state, if they handle this. Have the money taken out of his paycheck from where ever he works. If this fails, as him to drop his rights as a father. Kids don't need to see you upset because of what their dad isn't willing to do. When they get old enough, if they want to look for him, they can. Right now, you have to take care of them. This is on way. Maybe he will step up and be the dad he should be. Good Luck!

Answer 8

It is sad that men don't stand up and do the right thing. Some men feel disenfranchised by "the system," which usually places children, especially young children, with the mother. However, this is NO excuse for not holding up your obligations as a man, and as a father.

Answer 9

confident, it does ensue. My ex won custody of our daughter as quickly as we divorced whilst she substitute into 3. i substitute into ordered to pay help to him. i did no longer have a concern with paying it, in spite of everything, she is my daughter too. What I did have a concern with substitute into being arrested and tossed in reformatory by using fact i could no longer pay it once I lost my job and had no the place to stay. He has constantly earned extra money than me yet that may no longer the priority. It takes 2 to create a newborn and that i are conscious of it does constantly artwork out between the couple yet the two nonetheless would desire to help the youngster in regardless of way they'd. I paid until she grew to become 18 and he or she desperate back stay with me.

Answer 10

I take issue with your "..and then don't OFTEN help support..."
A few bad apples don't make the tree... I think most men do support their kids and I think sometimes (though not often, mind you) women think they need more than what they really do need. Besides, if you think it's that much of an issue, then you'd take it to court and I'm sure a judge will make sure your kids get what they deserve....