2006-12-19 04:48:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have 3 wonderful kids and had been married for 12 years. I had cheated on him, but I realized I made a mistake. We have been separated for about a year now. He comes to me a lot, though, so I'm not sure if he really wants this divorce. I did talk to him and he says that he does want it. He has a girlfriend right now, but he says he doesn't want to be with her either. I guess I'm confused because he has never fully let me go, and I don't want to let him go. I want my family back together.
2006-12-19 05:08:32 · update #1
You love the person enough to understand that while you may still want to be married, they don't. Love them enough to let them be happy
2006-12-19 04:52:35 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Ladylike ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hate to tell you this but you probably already realize it, but it's going to be one of the hardest things you will probably experience, at least it was (is) for me. The only thing I can tell you is that time will eventually help. Friends and family are also good things in your world right now. I've been divorced for almost 4 years now and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. However, I have come back along way since it first happened. Hope this helps in some way. Keep your chin up and look for positive things in your life.
2006-12-19 04:56:54 · answer #2 · answered by Stratus_99_1998 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though you may not want the divorce, you need to remember that you are divorcing for a reason. If it is because your partner doesn't want to still be with you, how miserable is it going to be, to be in a relationship any longer where you aren't loved? Look at the divorce as a chance to find happiness, not the end of dreams. If you are getting divorced you couldn't be living your dream right now. You have that chance.
2006-12-19 04:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by PDH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like a lot of the answers, I've been there. Wake up everyday thinking about it, it's the first thought I have before I go to sleep. It's been three years and I still think about it. She cheated on me with one of my friends, isnt that how it always goes?
I love my family, I love her still, I still want it all back. The problem is, I don't want the cheating and the lies. You're still married and apparantly talking to him, if he can get past the cheating and you can be a loyal and faithful wife then by all means get your man back.
You have kids together, you have no idea how the decision will impact their lives.
People cheat, it's sad, but we do, it hurts when we get cheated on, but we're still all creatures seeking pleasure.
Tell him you want the family back together, tell him you want him to try and trust you again. Go see a family counselor.
Only if you can stay loyal, if not then don't tear him apart. Think of it this way if you can get past this obstacle together, then you'll be able to get past everything.
If he says no, the way to get through it is by spending time with your friends and family. Explore your friendships with men that you don't have a sexual relationship with, give yourself time to heal. When you wake up in the morning, and your bombarded with thoughts of it, get up, start your day. Keep you mind busy on other things and the weight of this will pass.
You'll always remember but as time goes by it wont hurt so bad. Don't be upset because it's over, be glad it happened.
Good luck - I hope you get your family back!
2006-12-19 05:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by Cabbage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go through it.If the other party wants it there is nothing you can do.You can't change anyone but you can change you.Try not to make the same mistake that brought you to where you are(divorce)if they won't forgive you then it's there problem and you must move on with your life.Hey who knows there might be somone else who will learn to appreciate you even more.)I was married 25 years and couldn't take it anymore I divorced him but since he chose not to change I moved on with my life.I still love him because I have to.He hasn't still changed because he married my first cousin that was LOW but I told her an abussive man never changes and it's going to come out soon or later.I am happy now and know that for every person that goes through pain there is somone else that can bring happiness and Joy for them. (good luck)
2006-12-19 04:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by gblue52 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You take it day by day - minute by minute if you have to. Keep good friends around you to support you, give you comfort and strength - cry when you need to - but keep in mind, there is life after divorce. Try to stay focused on day to day things, work, family, etc. Don't dwell on what went wrong - look for at least one positive thing every day.
I wish you the best of all things - remember keep the faith - whatever that may mean to you!
2006-12-19 05:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want this divorce because you want your partner to re consider and have the marriage work out? Try and talk to your spouse and see if there is any chance of not divorcing, But in my vast experience, when a decision like this have been made there is nothing you can do but get it over with and move on.
Good Luck.
2006-12-19 04:55:02 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You go a day at a time, an hour at a time. Remember you did not fail this marriage , the party wanting out doesn't want it to work. You deserve the best in life. Not someone who gives up and walks away. They did not take their vows and mean them. Keep busy , keep the faith . Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-19 05:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will be the hardest thing you do..... I'm going through it right now and i cant even sit in the same room as him .... but he was the one who cheated on and it hurt just remember you will move on and when you do think of all the wonder full things you have learned from the experiences and the mistakes
2006-12-19 05:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by Shelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to do anything you dont want to. Pray and wait on God for guidance. Trust him with your partner. Things can change. Pray that GOd would frustrate the plans of Satan in that persons life. You will be amazed at what happens!
God bless you.
2006-12-19 04:57:33 · answer #10 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋