Like for my birthday, I made plans to go out Saturday night (with everyone of course), but I planned it b/c I knew he wouldn't plan anything. Then Sunday we spent with my mom and brother and my mom took us out to dinner... but my real birthday was Monday. My husband didn't have to work until 10 AM and I had to work at 8 and we only have one car. So I had to get up per norm at 5:30 and take the bus to work to be there by 8. He didn't even offer to drive me and then he called in sick to work and stayed home all day. He didn't call me to see if I wanted to have lunch or anything. He didn't give me a card or get me a gift.
We have never celebrated an anniversary and he hates Christmas. Are all men like this? I just want to enjoy something and celebrate... help!
2006-12-19 04:47:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are all men like this?----just the divorced ones.
2006-12-19 04:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, all men are not like this. However, have you made your needs clear to him? Men also cannot read minds, so unless you have told him what you want, how is he going to know?
Unfortunately, if you have already stated your needs clearly, and he continues to behave this way, then there is very little possibility that he will change to suit you. If this is the case, then the ball is in your court - stay with someone who does not meet your needs, or leave and find someone that will. This type of complete oblivion towards special occasions (in particular, your birthday) is not likely to change, and indicates a self-absorbed personality.
2006-12-19 12:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by SmartAleck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does seem a little strange to me that he didn't bother to acknowledge your birthday at all. And I'll be honest with you - if my man made me take the bus to work because he wouldn't get this *** out of bed to drive me, I'd be furious. I don't even know what to tell you. All I know is the way you described his behavior on your birthday, something about that rubs me the wrong way and I know if I were in your shoes, I'd be concerned.
2006-12-19 12:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by Heather C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are from Mars and women from Venus. See the good in him, they are not perfect, and neither are we. So, deal with it and be happy. Easy said then done, huh, but it is true. I have been there. And I was unhappy because I did not undertand him. Now that I am older and more mature I see how things were in the past but it seems it is too late. Only a miracle to fix all the mess that we both did in our lives. Good luck.
2006-12-19 12:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by Butterfly 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a man, I can tell you that not all of us are like your husband. I make sure to do little things for my wife, like start her car on a cold winter morning even though she did not ask, leave special little messages for her telling her how great she is, etc.
I would let your husband know how you feel. Let him know that you appreciate sweet/cute little gestures from time to time...especially simple things like acknowledging you on your birthday with a card/gift/lunch.
2006-12-19 13:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him - you have to tell him how it made you feel. no argument - just let him know. He will either try to change or he won't. If he doesn't he probably doesn't really care what you think - only what he thinks. Has he always been this way when you were dating? If so you have a long road to live, especially if you want him to do small kind things for you.
2006-12-19 12:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lord no!! Men for the most part are NOT anything like this!! I would have your husband checked for depression or something! I can not fathom a person who does not celebrate things in life!!!
2006-12-19 12:50:22 · answer #7 · answered by Mystic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my his the same love been married 34 years now he has never done anything at all,only shoping 1 a week and to poorly to do that now,i go to bingo on a aniversary or birhday to cheer myself up and also have good friends at my local church,and do a bit of charity work when i have the time
2006-12-19 12:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by susanrad10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, all men are not like this. Just the selfish immature ones. Talk to him, tell him that this hurts you. If it continues, you might need to rethink your relationship. No, it isn't about gifts, but it is about sharing your lives, and apparently he is not participating!
Good luck!
2006-12-19 12:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I can tell you that not all men are like your husband. It's not even cute things, these are important things. It is what being a couple means.
Let him know that he is being rude and inconciderate, and that it makes you feel horrible.
2006-12-19 12:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO. NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE YOURS~ You need to seriously talk to him and set your cards on his table, or else you will be unhappy for the rest of your marriage life. Good Luck~
2006-12-19 12:52:28 · answer #11 · answered by YO~NO~FUI E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋