A man in his middle 20's held a steady job for many years. Then, suddenly, after his wife gave birth to their first child he began jumping from job to job. He holds a job for a couple weeks or a few months but then quits, thinking he'll be happier somewhere else. He is very involved with his daughter but is unable to commit to an outside career. His interests and goals change every few weeks. Is this a normal occurance for new fathers? His daughter is nearly two, and this still continues.
Please share any insight you may have. Thanks!
2006-12-19 04:32:51 · 7 answers · asked by angelbelle 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wonder if it isn't any particular disorder (although it could be a sign he's depressed, but I'm not saying what you describe are symptoms of depression).
I wonder if he just started "being responsible" by working young, and he did that for many years, as you say. The baby was probably born as he just entered his mid-twenties or was in his early twenties. (There are only so many years in the middle twenties.)
If he had a job that wasn't the best paying job, maybe he's been thinking he needs to find a new career and make more money. Maybe he's kind of thinking if he wants to make a change or find his direction he had better do it now because he isn't getting any younger, and more babies could come along.
A PBS special showed how the pre-frontal cortex on teenagers may not be finished developing completely until "early- to mid- twenties". We've all heard, too, that bones aren't finished developing until we're around 25. My point is he hasn't been completely mature for very long one way or the other.
Whatever he did for years was a decision he made very young. Even having the baby was a decision he made very young, especially for a young man.
Maybe you're right that it is linked to the birth of the baby. It could just be a coincidence, though. Having a child could make him feel pressured to find his career, and if he's a person who, by any chance, lacks the type of education he'd need to have the career he'd like, he could be moving around from one unsatisfying thing to another in his attempt to finding something that isn't horrible.
I'm not saying this is what he's doing, but there are guys who seem to get a little jealous of their wife because she gets to stay home and he has to be out to work every morning. They can wish they didn't have to get out every morning and be at a job they don't like. They can wish they had the same kind of time with the baby their wife does. There's the part of them that knows they have to work and makes a half-baked effort, but it can almost seem as if having to witness their wife and baby being together through the day rubs their face in their own dissatisfaction.
He may have issues, but I don't necessarily think they have to add up to any particular disorder.
One other thing, though: If he has worked had for years, and if he's taken on a lot of responsibility and done what was right when it comes to the baby and the house etc., there's the chance a guy this young could be all stressed out and kind of exhausted emotionally.
This is my "famous" point I put in so many of my answers, but its worth nothing: Stress causes elevated cortisol levels, which make it difficult to concentrate. It also causes high blood pressure and elevated blood sugar and any number of other things. If a person is under stress for too long his adrenal gland may actually "run out of juices", and he can be get adrenal fatigue (which makes functioning and working really difficult).
The person with one of these conditions isn't depressed and doesn't act depressed; but they kind of seem depressed anyway. Sometimes these conditions are misdiagnosed as depression.
Well, that's all I have. Maybe talk to him and see if he may want to consider the possibility he's been too stressed out for too long and could be having some difficulty concentrating or getting motivated or thinking clearly because of it. A person can be happy but still incredibly stressed out.
2006-12-19 04:53:26 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this a psychologist told me. for the first 6 months of a new couple, love is really a chemical things. like girls actually produce testosterone. thats why is really wild when the relationship is new. and chemical changes also happen in guys. but more or less after 6 months the chemicals subside and love becomes a voluntary commitment. it is difficult to get over a break up and what not because of so many factors and it is of course psychological or in the head. the heart pumps blood. because when being with someone so long we just get accustomed to them. too many things really. because it becomes a commitment. if the other person does not want to commit then i guess he's just having fun or his limit is just that. they say. counseling is the beggining of the end. its all about sacrifice and getting rid of pride. pride is a terrible thing in a relationship.
2016-05-23 07:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many father's place their "greatness" in being able to provide to their families.
Money might be terrifying him. He may be constantly looking for a job that interests him that he can stay with for life, and the amount of money it can offer him to feel like a good father.
Don't think this is a disorder; just a scared father!
2006-12-19 05:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by dearreal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Siddhattha
2006-12-19 04:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by chi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is having an early midlife crisis. It happens. As long as he does not start messing with drugs and alcohol he will be fine very soon.
2006-12-19 04:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dissassociative personality disorder
2006-12-19 04:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by nancy44 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is bipolar
2006-12-19 04:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Love Yahoo!!! wannabe a princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋