i feel so unappreciated.?

Question

at work and at home. how do i change that. I've tryed tell my husband and my boss but its like they don't hear me. I do so much for them.

Answer 1

You should disappear for a week. Make it look like you were kidnapped and then reappear.

Answer 2

That's definitely a sick feeling whether it is real or just a perception. Lot often we don't take the time to appreciate and thank the ones that help us ~ especially the people that are close to us.

The boss can take you for granted because he may feel that you're just doing what you're supposed to do. And sometimes, let's face it, people aren't sensitive enough to respect, admire and appreciate your efforts.

At home, you may be doing a lot of things that don't matter as much to him. I know women that are great house-keepers and a great mother to their children. But in the process, may not be great wives, if you know what I mean. It's not a dig at you but a man's perspective to your situation.

If you aren't already, try making some time to be more intimate with him. He'll probably appreciate you more if he isn't frustrated with your intimacy.

Feel free to share (email/IM) more if you'd like. Good luck.

Answer 3

It may be that at the beginning of your work and personal realationship you made yourself a bit of a door mat, tried to make everyone else happy, and now you are being taken for granted. If this be the case, re-evaluate the things you do at work and at home, and cut out the extra's! Stop doing the things that aren't absolutely required, make people ask for your help! people may not have any appreciation for you while things are done for them all the time, but boy will they notice when sh*t don't get done! When people start to wonder why you've changed, or are a bi*ch all of a sudden, just explain it to them!

Answer 4

If you are getting a regular and fair paycheck at work that is all you can expect and all they owe you. Look for another job with another company (no guarantee it will be better) if you really hate your present working conditions.
As far as the hubby is concerned... forget it, men do not have a clue. Start backing off on doing everything for him if it really is too much. Make him wash his own clothes and cook dinner once in awhile. This is a hint to you all you hubby's out there. Treat your wife like you would a girlfriend.

Answer 5

At work, STOP! Stop doing stuff for your boss that is not part of your job description. Do your job and do it well, then go home. Be respectful to your boss, don't get ridiculous and do something stupid, you could lose your job. Learn to say, "No, sir, I cannot do that, and I will not jeopardize my integrity for you."

At home, STOP! Stop doing your husband's laundry, cooking meals for him, etc.; whatever you are doing for him, stop. Learn to say no, tell him to do for himself. Tell him, if he doesn't start appreciating all you do for him, he can do it for himself. Then, you sit down on your couch with a big cup of whatever you like to drink, and enjoy your TV program.

With your children, if you have any, STOP! Stop cleaning their rooms, doing their laundry, cooking meals, etc. They have to learn to clean their own rooms, and do their own laundry, if they're old enough. They have to learn responsibility, so if they have dirty school clothes, they have to hand-wash them or put them in the washer. Show them how to do it a few times, then they are on their own. Don't give in to the whining, because you know they will do it.

With your friends, STOP! Stop being Janey Jump-Up every time someone wants to have you bake a cake for a last minute bake sale, or come over to watch their kids so they can go out, or take care of their plants while they're on vacation.

Make yourself your #1 priority for the next three to six months. I'm serious! You have to learn to appreciate yourself too. Take some time for yourself, pamper yourself, do what you want to do. If someone comes up and tries to change your TV program, look at them as if they have lost their mind, and tell them, "Did I tell you to change that? Put that back where I had it!" You don't have to be real loud, just be assertive. Good luck.

Answer 6

I have a saying: "Expectg nothing and you will never be disappointed" Do things as iff you are doing them for God and just do it. Dont operate in the feelings and emotions department, becuase it leads to self pity and murmuring and moaning. The Jews did that in the desert when they left Egypt and if they just did what theyt had to they would have seen the promised land. God sees all that you do and he is pleased with you. Even if you dont see your rewards on earth, you will see them in heaven, so carry on doing just what you do. I think you have a little problem with insecurity and lack a lot of confidence. A confident person does not care what others think. He/she knows what they are and can be and therefore just moves expecting no thanks but proving to themselves what they are capable of doing. DOnt fear rejection. Be positive and dont operate in the negative zone or yopu will reap the negative.

Good luck to you. There are a lot of people who feel like you do. Just know what you are worth and believe the positive about it!

Answer 7

If your boss disrespects you or underpays you you should find another job.
If your boss just doesn't come in and pat you on the back enough,well quit your whining.

As far as your hubby is concerned stop doing so much for a while and see if he changes his ways or even notices.

Answer 8

Why do you feel so unappreciated? What do you want or need? Maybe they don't hear you because you aren't telling them in a way they can understand.

Answer 9

Just sit with your husband and talk about it. Tell him what you expect out of him. Men are not good mind readers. They have to be prompted about everything. May be he is assuming that you are happy. By the way, do you appreciate and recognise what he does for you?? Try incorporating that aspect, normally, it is infectious and he may follow suit. Good luck

Answer 10

You do not sound happy with yourself first off and you need to be HAPPY with YOU! Also you need to step up and demand respect! If they do not respect or appreciate you move on to a different job that does and do some counseling with your husband or try a short separation so is does respect you more.

Answer 11

I agree, you should stop doing all that you do for your boss and husband. Let them know what it is to need you for a while. Then they will learn to appreciate you more. Stand your ground!

Good luck!