My boyfriends son is emotionally disabled and has learning difficulties.He is 12 but is more like a 7 or 8 year old.BF is WAY too permissive with him, letting him watch R rated movies, play M rated games, and listen to music with "parental advisory" on the album cover.The kid can also be quite rude and disrespectful to me...my BF expects me to put up with it to a certain extent because the kid"has problems" and that I should even let him move in with us(I own the house) so he can "work with him" Also, I remember in my high school Spanish class.A mentally challenged girl in my class who constantly talk out out of turn, to herself and others.It was VERY distracting and the teacher ignored her. Once she did this during a big important test.The teacher stepped out of the room for a minute, the girl (whose father was on the board of ed) began laughing very loudly and talking not even making sense. I turned around and said SHHHHH!!! I was about 15 and my parents grounded me if I didint do
2006-12-19 03:48:11 · 5 answers · asked by eastcoastdebra 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
well in school, and I was not going to get grounded because of her. Parents complained about he distraction, the school did nothing. At our final exam, she was blabbering away, laughing, calling out etc. The teacher did nothing, my classmates all had pained looks on their faces. Finally I said, "WILL YOU BE QUIET??" She did. The teacher gave me a dirty look and said after the exam that I was insensitive. I told her I was trying to learn, and ______ was very distracting, I realize she cannot help it, but I am entitled to an education, and I get grounded if I dont do well enough in school. Now, to second part of my ?. IS it fair to expect everyone, or even one person to be interfered with because of one person? Where do we draw the line? Shouldnt the girl in my Spanish class have been in a special class? Should my BF continue to expect the world to revolve around his kid because he "has problems" and wants to "work with him"???
2006-12-19 03:54:15 · update #1
The father of this boy is making even more problems for him by spoiling him like crazy. The material he's being exposed to will cause him to develop a warped view of life. Your boyfriend's not 'working with him' at all, he's using videos as a babysitter.
The father should stop feeling sorry for the boy and make him follow rules so he can grow up like everyone else. Soon, he'll be too big to make him follow the rules, then it'll be mr policeman's job.
The rights of those who are physically/emotionally/intellectually challenged SHOULD NOT override the rights of other individuals. They are not any more special than others, they should be treated the same.
2006-12-19 03:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Me in Canada eh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To your boyfriend, just like everybody else, the world DOES revolve around him. However, he can try all he wants, but if he expects everybody else to see things that way, he'll be in for some major disappointment. That's life.
That being said, I don't believe the child is a product of too many R movies or M games. What is considered "way too permissive" in that regards is personal. Different taste in movies and games are not a substitute for discipline. Sure, maybe he should earn the right to playing M games & watching R movies by treating you and his father respectfully.
But everybody has their own style of parenting and their own opinion of what is harmful and what isn't. The law draws the line where necessary, and he hasn't crossed that line.
It's 100% up to you whether or not you should allow him to live in your house. You have to weigh the pros and cons, but you should not conclude that any of the child's difficulties are a result of bad parenting. That is not fair. I'm sure your BF tried to curtail those problems the best way he could, but control slipped away from him. It's understandable because your BF faced (and still faces) an uphill battle, and some indulgences make it a little easier.
2006-12-19 04:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not the child's fault. His dad is not being the adult in the situation. His son will not reach his full potential emotionally, socially or intellectually while his dad continues to make excuses for him and let him rule the household. Suggest counseling that you are willing to participate in. If your boyfriend doesn't agree to counseling, break up with him. This problem will not go away and only get worse as long as the dad has blinders about what he is doing to his son and how it affects his other relationships.
2006-12-19 03:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by royal e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Retarded children are not stupid. And like any other child they want to push the limits of what they can do. And because they KNOW that being retarded gets them special treatment, they will use their retardedness to their advantage. The only way that a retarded child will grow into maturity and live a normal life is if he is treated like everyone else. I have a cousin who is slightly retarded but because nobody tolerated his antics or his short comings as he was growing up, today he functions normally and nobody knows that he is retarded.
2006-12-19 03:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Joe K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are 8 billion people on earth. Find another BF. He sounds like he has problems.
2006-12-19 03:51:19 · answer #5 · answered by Boilerfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋