This happened way back in my Childhood. It's a long story, actually several stories entwined into one. If you have the patience to read a long SOB story, thanks, if you don't, thats alright.
It all started with my Paternal Grandmother, I guess. When I was 2 or 3 yrs old, she used to keep telling my mom, I was a little tyrant, just like my aunt. So, one day my brother was tickling me, I laughingly tickled him back. Unfortunately, I had long nails at that time, so he got scratched really badly. For some reason, he decides to concoct a story that I scratched him on purpose.
From then on, everyone thinks it is confirmed that I am a B*tch. All my pleas that I hadn't done anything on purpose fall on deaf ears.
I get all these "Oh, you are such a bad girl! How could you do that to your own brother" crap.
I start feeling bad, unloved, neglected and insignificant( no one paid any attention to me pleas - so my word is nothing to them, i am nothing to them )
(continued)
2006-12-19 03:35:31 · 10 answers · asked by Sunrise 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I felt no one in this world loved me. Then, one day I feel my Grand fathers hand tickling my thigh....you can guess what happened next. He told me he "loved" me. You can imagine how that made me feel. I was on top of the World!! FINALLY, someone in this World loves me!!
Then, he died, I read news papers and find out what happened between us was not "love" it was incest, infact sexual abuse. Then, the guilt starts, after all I didn't do anything to stop him? I encouraged him, I was happy!! Whats wrong with me? Were they all right all along? Am I really a bad girl? A horrible girl, with a dirty mind?
Then, the crushing blow, I also realised that he hadn't loved me, he was just using me!! So, really no one in this World loves me!!
At the age of 16, I finally told my mother. Strangely, she was very accepting about the whole thing. She was very upset, but she tells me my grandfather had a history behind him....
I tell her i need to see a psychiatrist. I need help.
(continued)
2006-12-19 03:42:50 · update #1
She tells me no, you are perfectly fine.
I disagree. But she is afraid that her father will get a bad name with my fathers family( I haven't told my Father)
Anyways, I feel that I am a very messed up person because of the above incidents.
I feel resentment against my Grandmother for painting my Character before it even had a chance to develop, my brother for the lies that hurt me so much and my mother for not believing me when i told the truth and for not standing up for me.
I am 22 now.
The thing is, I am tired of this resentment.
I am tired of feeling used and abused.
I want to be happy?
But, how?
I just don't seem to be able to let go of this resentment.
How do i do this?
2006-12-19 03:47:37 · update #2
My heart hurts for you right now. There is no worse feeling that feeling unloved. I would definitely seek counseling now. It is not too late for you to get help to deal with this. Take the advice of your counselor about how to deal with the feelings you are having. You always have the option of distancing yourself from your family. You are an adult now, and you can do what is best for you without the help (or consideration) of your family.
Go to this website. http://www.rainn.org/ You can find information there about how to get free counseling. It's for victims of abuse, which you most definitely are. Don't put it off. Once you take the first step to getting help, you are taking control of your life back, and the rest will fall into place for you.
Good luck to you.
2006-12-19 04:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by Robin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a therapist!! This is the story of my life as well. Not only was I the bad one but I was dumb and ugly. My younger brother and my older cousin were both smart, well mannered and so beautiful as children. They were the favorites of my Grandmother. Her golden children.(Literaly they were both blonde and cute) My brother started reading at Two! I was a percoucious little thing. Always getting in trouble for talking in class. My brother was tested quite young and basically he has some ridiculously high IQ and was placed in Gifted classes. I am just average intelligence but as I grew up I started to realize that every child is special and deserves love and positive attention. We are all born with gifts and talents and it is our parents job to encourage those gifts. But since my parents didn't do that for me it is my responsibility to find out what my gifts and talents are. You are very special and I hope you understand and see that. It is not your fault that your family doesn't see that right now. Just surround your self with friends that see the beauty inside of you and try to find a Mentor or an older person that can encourage you to be your best.
2006-12-19 03:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-03 16:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a counselor or therapist about this. If everything you have tried has not worked, then maybe you will find a solution with a little guidance. This is effecting your self esteem, and you need to put it into perspective.
You can't choose your family, and you have them all your life, so the sooner you can deal constructively with this relationship the better. Don't expect miracles, and don't expect them to change overnight. But with support and some insight about what's going on with you and how you are feeling, you will be able to handle it.
2006-12-19 03:43:13 · answer #4 · answered by octoberbabye 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear dont get upset with these small things..
you know what a cousin of mine is also very depressed that no one at home understands her...
But i try my best to console her...
dear i believe the instance you mentioned in the first para...
only you remember about it.is
Maybe beause of your past behaviours, your perception has
become like that..
And by the way how did you come to the conclusion that your Grandpa was seducing you not actually loving you...
where did you find this wrong statement...
however i was not there but still..i dont think it wud be right to say all these things about your late Grandpa....
And if all the things that you've mentioned are correct then perhaps he was the wrong person..
and you should not regret it coz you were not involved in it.
Damn it...
whats happening in this world...
Anyways, Take Care.
Do reply if possible.
2006-12-19 03:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by zubi k 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Are you perceived by others as being bossy? Or uptight? I think it would take more than one or two incidents to be labeled like that. If it makes you feel bad, ignore what they say. You are your own person after all and deserve as much respect as anyone else in the family.
2006-12-19 03:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your letter cut-off at "continued". But, that's okay. Look up on the web: "invalidation." It's a from of abuse. I think this might help, and it will get you some clear answers. I'm sorry that adults can be so ignorant at times.
2006-12-19 03:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by dearreal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ye i understand tat.me too same thing like tat used to happen to me.i wud've leave to other places
2006-12-19 03:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats horrible, cant get your brother to tell the truth?
2006-12-19 03:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by stuntowns7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about what happened to you.
2006-12-19 03:45:18 · answer #10 · answered by big pappy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋