Should I forgive my uncle for this....?

Question

About seven years ago my uncle grabbed my backside (which is clearly sexual harrassment). Prior to that he ahd shown signs of being a sleazebag (for example, he kept starring at my chest) But since that particular incident I have seriously kept away from him- I have since avoided going any place where he would be present. Anyhow, is something like this forgivable? Personally I still hate him for that; but with the new year comming and everything I really want to forget about the past. What do you guys think?

Answer 1

You can forgive him but don't trust him, nor would I get close to him. Don't forget what he did!

Answer 2

No, you should report this to autohrities or relatives.
Even if u forgive him, things will haunt you and he might possibly
repeat the same action. So, what if these things happen again, wait 4 few more 'new 'years? then go back to this nuisance.
Nothing can really be cured if the source is not found nor taken healing action on.

Nothing can change the fact he is wrong and he will never learn it
unless some actions are taken. You may surely choose to response differently but it will still not give u security as the circumstances are
unpredictable if u just watch things happen
unless
u take actions 2 change the situation.

Answer 3

I hope you have told your parents or an adult that you trust about this. You are not the only one has done this to or will do this with. You can absolutely forgive him for what he did. But you should never be alone with him ever again He is a sick jerk that has a serious problem. I feel sorry for him but he needs to be reported!! You may not be able to forgive yourself if you find out that he hurt someone else. Everyone in your family needs to be aware of what has happened!!!! He should not be around any children!!

Answer 4

No you don't and NEVER forgive and forget. Clear you little cousins and nephews/nieces from him the best way you can at all times. Tell one adult female you trust most in your family (not your Mom) about what had happened to you, and tell her to stay alert but not to tell other members of the family just yet. Don't avoid that pervert but if you should be in a situation where you'd have to be in the same space with him and he tries to make another move towards you, darn it slap him on the face and tell him if he does that again it'll be the cops central.

Answer 5

You have had excellent advice already but I want to add just a little more .
Don't short change yourself because he is ill mannered and a sleeze bag . If you like to socialize with everybody else, go to your family re-unions but avoid him by keeping a great distance . Personally, I would scream it from the roof tops in my family what he has done. No point in keeping that a secret because he will or has undoubtedly done it to others . If he comes near you speak up in a LOUD voice so others can hear it . Embarrass him, if that is possible .
It has happened to me and I kept quiet with great regret today I might add. When we are young and impressionable with in-experiences on how to deal with older people , well, we do the wrong thing . Today times have changed and advice is available in many places .
So, go there with fortitude and give 'em hell Harry .

Answer 6

If you don't feel safe being around him, then you don't need to put your self in trouble. If i was in your position i would probably stay away from him to. I don't think that i can tell you to forgive him because i don't know even if i could forgive somebody for that. I guess what i really am saying is, that you are going have to be the one to make up your mind to forgive him or not. A piece of advice though "When he ain't around don't regret it by saying i wish i would of done this or that." Best of Luck -Journalism Geek

Answer 7

it relatively is a delicate section yet it quite is how I cope with this variety of stuff: a million. Drug use 2. Hitting women folk (regaurdless the reason) 3. no longer Beleivig the sufferer those are the my acceptable motives to no longer consult with a pair one yet First i could uncles part of the story before making up your suggestions on the different hand they consistently say forgive you do no longer could desire to forget approximately

Answer 8

Continue doing what you are doing and avoid him.. sorry to say that but ur uncle is a shamless bastaard.. and cannot be trusted.. You have all the right to hate him.. if i was u i would feel the same. But that doesn't mean u stop going on with ur life. Enjoy the holidays and forget about that jerk.

Answer 9

I say forget it and move on. Make a resolution to try to be around him one more time. If he acts the way you described again, have a talk with him. Tell him his behavior bothers you. I'm not assuming things or trying to scare you, but is he gay or has he been convited of molesting boys / men? If that is in his past, it may be re-surfacing. You will do yourself and society a favor if you report him to the police. You can do it anonymously.

Answer 10

First question..did you make your parent aware of what he did?

Second, yes you need to forgive-NEVER FORGET-but forgive and move on with your life. Holding in this negativity is just giving him what he wants from you. You are fixated on him and allowed him to control how you view men and relationships now. Dont give him that kind of power. Pray and leave it at God's feet and allow Him to punish your uncle.

Answer 11

forgiving helps heal you... it does not condone the actions by your Uncle.....

i had something very bad happen to me once and i could not forgived for years... it ate me up inside.. while all the while this person was just enjoying his life.....

forgiving helped me heal...... but i can't forget...and neither should you..... keep avoiding your Uncle... he is a bad man and could end up trying to do worse...

i think you should tell somebody about this..like your parents for example..... and i hope they take you seriously... a lot of parents just deny deny deny... mine did...and that hurt almost as bad if not worse than the original event.... i have tried to forgive them but i am not sure if i have yet...because sometimes i still get so angry about it....

good luck to you!