My husband keeps frequenting the site adult friend finder?

Question

He says he just wants to write to people. He has cheated before. He always looks up local women. I finally cheated back on him. He was very hurt but still goes to aff. What's up with him. He is 43 years old and married for 24 years.

Answer 1

What in the world if your his wife then y'all need to communicate more so that he doesn't feel the need to write anyone. Sounds like he's having a midlife crisis and you need to put the breaks on that friend finder crap. He's got all the friend he needs in you and if he feel like he doesn't then maybe y'all need to go to counseling. I just couldn't see myself letting this go on because he would have two friends for sure left and hook. Good Luck!

Answer 2

It's no secret men are stimulated visually and by new & exciting adventures. But what you fail to understand is that the chase is the exciting part. You should take this opportunity to keep him incapable of cheating. Put some fire back into the bedroom... subtly. If he is the amorous type, then make sure you give him all the stimulation he can handle, and then some. Even when a man is not in the mood, oral stimulation is a sure-fire arouser. If he remains uninterested, continue anyway until his ammunition is spent. Most likely, he will soon take the initiative and you will wisely let him believe it's his own libido.

When a man leaves with a loaded weapon, it is easier and more likely to find a spot elsewhere, because there are loads of willing women looking for a man.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I was all for sitting him down and trying to work this out until I read your last line. He's willing to trade you in for porn? Interesting. I find his cavalier attitude much more damaging than any type of porn could inflict. Nobody but you can decide how little you're willing to settle for in your marriage...if that's what you want to call it. Whether it be on the internet or live and in person, emotional or physical, what he is doing is cheating and emotional abuse. Whether or not you want to make your marriage work right, get yourself to counseling, even if he won't go. You need to experience an environment that allows you to express how all this makes you feel and how it will affect your future without getting your feelings and thoughts dismissed. You might be surprised how much better you'll feel about yourself. Then you can decide what you want to do about this.

Answer 4

Leave now , he will not stop cheating. Leave when you are young enough to move on. Don't wait. I stayed with a cheater 37-1/2 years , my only mistake was not leaving after the first time. I would have been young and able to move on alot better. All he is doing is abusing you with the cheating. You may not have bruises, but it kills your self esteem. Two wrongs do not make a right . You deserve to be treated with respect . Leave for your own self esteem .

Answer 5

----ROMANCE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems to me that you 2 are both in need of some serious time alone.
Apparantly, he's not satisfied with your relationship and wants something new.
Lowering yourself to his level won't solve anything. All that does is make you look childish.
"Dont get mad, get even" is a childish and inmature way of handling problems.
"Don't get mad, take action".
Re-claim your property.
Go to Victoria Secret's, buy a sexy outfit, etable undies, whip cream, merachino cherries. Get a babysitter, if needed, and go to a hotel. Leave your cell phones and other communication divices in the car. Tell only the babysitter where you are, and to only call in an emergency.
Do what ever it takes to save your marriage. Even if you don't like it.
On a regular basis, fix his favorite meal and desert.
Fix yourself up, just for him.
Complain about nothing. Ask his advice, whether you need it or not.
Be helpless, men need to feel needed. If they don't feel needed by the ones they love, they will look some place else.
Don't criticize, be supportive.
Men, especially at that age, go through changes, just like we do. We, as women, have to be as supportive of them, as we expect them to be of us.
If it's attention he wants, give it to him, in a positive way.
If you truely love him, and want to keep him, you'll do anything.
Don't resent, hate, or get even with him
-----JUST LOVE HIM-----
Lots of luck to you.
Let me know if this works.

Answer 6

Both of you need counselling to rejuvenate your marriage. After 24 years together, you do not expect things to be as in the beginning and unless you are willing to stay apart, the only other way is to seek professional advice. Good luck.

Answer 7

Adult friend finder is also a place to find individuals who enjoy sex acts on the freakier side. Maybe he has a fetish that he's looking to fulfill. Or maybe just chatting about that fetish is fulfilling that need. Either way, find out if this is the case and maybe it would be something you would like to try with him.

Answer 8

Sounds like ur husband wants to have his cake and eat it too! If he just wanted to write to people he could find them on a less sexual site..If he is looking up local women then it is more than writing he wants to do!! Get rid of him, he is a habitual cheater and will never change.

Answer 9

So you're both just cheating back and forth on eachother?

Yeah, that sounds like a great marriage.

Sell the house, split up the stuff, and move on. It's over!

Answer 10

He is in the age range where he thinks that he is missing out on something. He is starting to become uncomfortable in his own space and wants to venture out into the wild and see what he can rustle up.
I would not tolerate that type of behavior. There are too many diseases out that come home with you and STAY... be careful, don't accept unacceptable behavior.