i love my husband very much .ours is love marriage.nobody supported our marriage and my parents had filed a case against him which is till now going on. at presend i am studying in graduation and living in hostel with my best friend. my husband also lives in same area where i live on rent and working in a private institute as a teacher. i often do what he says. i always leave my imp clases for him. daily i make food for him by going there by bunking my clases. daily i arrange his room, wash his clothes,etc do all his work,satisfy him sexually.but still he thinks that i give more importance to my friends,studies,parents,others and not him.he has made many restrictions for me to follow which is impossible to follow wholly like dont talk to boys or frd, dont make friends,dont attend any ones call except his and my parents,dosnot like me and my bestfriend's friendship.ask me live a deserted life only with him.we dont have any baby.i am 20yrs and he is of 26.april 2005 is our marriage day
2006-12-19 02:13:53 · 18 answers · asked by libra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't be able to do that, he is insecure and is trying to totally control you, and I think that you should tell him that you are human too and deserve to be happy and have friends. And I still don't understand why you two live separately? What kind of marriage is this? Why do you cut classes in school to go and be with him? It sounds like you two are still dating and not married to each other, if he loves you he better care about your education and think about the future, he finished school and is now working, and you deserve the same!
2006-12-19 02:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got through 3/4 of your question and can already tell that he is a controlling type person. You must live your own life and be happy with yourself and then you will realize that he is the weak one. You can and must have friends no matter if your are single or married. Family does matter on both behalfs. Would you outcast his family? From what I have read I don't think so. There is nothing wrong with you having friends and being a part of your family. If his family doesn't like you - so what. You are doing all the right things. I can hardly figure why you would marry a man that doesn't live with you. You can make it work but I doubt he will go along with it. I wish you the best of luck. Remember you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't appreciate you and love you for the person you are. There is no reason for that! You are a giving person and he is a taker.
2006-12-19 02:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to follow your heart but it would be my advice that you get outr now and never look back because it sounds to me like he has some really serious controll issues. Ppl like him dont change thins will only get worse as time goes on and the more of his rules you follow the more he will make for you to follow. Untill one day your stuck so deep in the prision he built you that you cant find your way out and by then there wont be anybody left to help you because you will have cut ties with any body who ever cared about you. Unfortunatly from the sounds of thins thats not the only worry you should have tho because ppl like him usually within time will become physaclly and mentally abusive too. It is my poinion that no woman should have to deal with any of that you sohuld get out while you still have help to do so and stand on your own sooner or later a man will come into your life that will treat you like a queen
2006-12-19 02:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by lonly_male4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I get you love the guy but dont sound like he loves you if he is controlling your life like that why is it you do all this stuff for him, and all he does is run ur life you do not need to be dropping classes, friends,family, and there has to be a reason ur parents filed a case against him girl you can not continue like this because if you do he is going to lock you down, and you will loose your mind and i think if you really dig deep down you will find its not really love its something else that is the cause of you being with him, get strong and you will wake up to find the truth.
Good luck
and remember you are worth more than what he is giving.
2006-12-19 02:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by ncgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't think what you can find to love in this man. In fact, no, he isn't a man. He's a miserable. selfish, ugly, controlling jerk, and, lady, if you don't get away from him while you can, you are going to end up very soon being a miserable, depressed, lonely, downtrodden wreck of a woman, who doesn't even remember who she is any more. It happened to a niece of mine a few years ago. And she ended up dead.
I am getting the feeling that you may be of a different culture, but if you are living in the United States, I can guarantee you that you have rights, and being treated like a human being is one of them. I am not looking for any points for this answer, because I don't think you are going to do what I - and I know others - are going to be telling you to do But I promise you that you are going to remember what you have read here. This man is dangerous, and he will destroy you. I am not surprised that he wants to make you get away from your friends and family. He wants to dominate you completely. He will also do anything to keep you from leaving him, because he is afraid he wont find another woman who will be weak, and let him treat her the way you are allowing him to do to you. What you feel for this man is NOT love. He has made you think that you will not get anybody else. Don't be fooled, and leave, now, before it is too late.
2006-12-19 02:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone make you unhappy. You only have one life.
Only you can make this decision because only you know how much you love your husband and value your friends. If your husband is willing to make you unhappy for his own convienence or contentment, then he deserve's neither.
Everything is a tradeoff however.
The fact you posted this question, implies your unsatisifaction with the situation. What arrangment would make you happiest? Perhaps talking to your husband about how you feel, and why, is the best you can do for the moment.
Good luck.
2006-12-19 02:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by skye_am_i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very controlling, manipulative and dangerous. He is trying to isolate you. Which is the first stage for domestic violence. The next stage usually involves destroying something you own and hold dear, like clothing, pictures or even killing a pet.
There are very compelling reasons why no one supported your marriage, the guy wants a slave, not a wife. Do NOT have children with this man and strongly consider a divorce.
Please, I urge you. My own first marriage was the same way and it eventually lead to extreme cruelty and violence. Even though I divorced him, I see in my grown children the damage this has done to their lives, not to mention my own.
Peace.
2006-12-19 02:22:25 · answer #7 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a selfish arrogant control freak. If he loves you so much, why aren't you living with him and being supported by him?
Look, get an annulment. Go back to your parents and run for daylight. You will be miserable if you stay with this a s s hole.
2006-12-19 02:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not stay with this man, he is a control freak and reminds me of many cultures where women have to bow down and answer to their male partners..Get out now before you have children...Your friendship with your best friend and family is more important, they obviously are not putting restrictions on your life as your husband is.......Give it up..your young and deserve better
2006-12-19 02:31:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Elizabeth Joy, The issue here, I believe, is communication and letting him know that you are not interested in having a threesome. Since you have tried to go through with having a threesome it is leading him to believe, I feel, that you are interested in having a threesome. In order to reverse the trend, I feel, you will need to discuss your feelings with him and continuously tell him 'no' every time he brings up the subject. If you do not take a firm stance then he will, I feel, continuously bring this up.
2016-03-29 00:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋