monster In Law....?

Question

my husband is an arabian &.. basically we are from diff country, diff race and diff culture...
his mother never agreed for us to get married...
but my husband sticked to his own decision to marry me..
soon we will be goin back to his hometown and gotta stay there for quite long time..
the thing is his mother never likes me..!! whut should i do!!!....plus im not her "dream daughter in law"
alot of thing i gotta prepare to face her...
1st she cant speak english..only arabic
2nd i don cook arabic food~!!
gosh! any tips??

Answer 1

if he stood up for you once, he will again while over there. so try and keep him around you often. he wouldnt allow her to mean to you.

but in all honesty, i wouldnt even go. you have NO idea what is going to happen while over there and what they allow to happen.

just in case, make sure you had an open airline ticket for emergencies.

here's a great site (with some pretty funny stories), that will help you understand you are not the only one whos in laws dont like you. its good to vent too.
http://www.ihatemyinlaws.com/

Answer 2

Then win her heart!

Since you are staying in his hometown, start to learn arabic language, start to learn how to cook arabic food..

You have decided to marry your husband and you realised that he came from different culture, you should compromise a little bit..

I'm sure if your husband saw your effort, he will definetely love you more..

His mother might change her point of view too if you showed some effort.. but if she doesn't then don't worry, the most important thing is that you marry her son, not her..

I know it's not easy job somehow it's not impossible...

Anyway, good luck..

Answer 3

Dear I do not want to scare you, but did you see the movie, "Not without my Daughter"?
the story of a mother and daughter who went home with the husband to an Islamic country and then he decided to stay there and make it his home. She had no place to turn for help, once she was in his country. the american embassy could have helped her, but not the child. Do you have children? Even if you do not have children I would still think this over carefully, the husband can abuse his wife in many countries, and no one can say anything about it. If you insist on going, go to the library and look up how to cook some food of the mothers in laws country. Learn the customs, and learn some simple phases of speech from your husband. Such as, Please, Thank You, can I help you cook.
Again I would think this over very carefully.

Answer 4

I am an American married to a Pakistani national. I would say I am not my mother in laws dream daughter either. You are lucky your MIL doesn't speak english because mine does and I get to hear first hand her rude remarks.
Ask your husband to teach you a few phrases to speak, so you are showing an interest in communicating.
When someone is cooking in the house jump in to help. Have a notebook and take notes. (I learned to cook Pakistani food my watching my MIL and taking notes)
Stay calm and don't let anything get you down. Remember your husband chose you...he was brave enough to stick to his guns. Now you have to be brave enough to grin and bear it. Just keep smiling and be on your best behavior. Show her a lot of respect. I wish you well and good luck.

Answer 5

Just be yourself. Your husband likes you for who you are whether you can cook arabic food or not. That's who he loves and married. Be yourself and if his mother doesn't like you, at least you will know in the beginning of your relationship with her where you stand. Do you speak arabic? If so, speak only in her language when she's around, that will be a peace sign for her. Secondly, smile when she looks at you, that will be another peace sign. Try to help out a lot and ask your hubby what his mother likes/dislikes. You can still be yourself and still try to make peace with her. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 6

wow big step to take but i know how you feel. first talk to your husband about how scared and insecure you feel so at least he can understand ahead of time. then have him teach you at least their greetings so that it shows your trying to respect his mother despite what she may think. also he can teach you how to cook their food too, it shouldn't be a big deal for him to do these things and it shows him your trying to do the right thing too. he will respect you more to trying. also i know its a long shot but try to relax, the more you sit and think about the harder it will be when you actually get there. alot of women no matter the culture or race are not dream daughter in laws but we manage! so go with the flow and show her you can't be cowed but your willing to learn! she will eventually come around and if not oh well she didn't marry you he did! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 7

My hubby is Persian and I'm so thankful that he doesn't have much family around us.

Study Arabic, teach her some English, and learn to cook his favorite dishes. It'll improve the relationship with her and your husband will think your the bees knees. My husband LOVES it when I learn about Iranian culture even though he married me because I'm a strong, smart American woman.

Answer 8

She will get over it over time. You just need to give her sometimes to get over herself and the fact that she cannot control her son's life. Anyhow, one thing you need to understand is that some parents have certain expectations for their kids, especially marriage stuff, so once it doesn't go as expected (which she probably hope he would have ended up with the same race girl for so long....) she is probably disappointed right now. I don't think she doesn't like you or anything. It's nothing personal. Once you both show her how much you guys love each other, any mother will be happy for her son and she will come around.

Be patient with her. She will get over it. and again, it's nothing personal I think.

Answer 9

All you can do is put in a good effort to get along.

Try to learn some Arabic, and get familiar with Arabic cooking and any other traditions.

If shes not going to like you, shes not going to like you, at least you can tell yourself you tried to get along.

And make sure your Hubby stands by you, and doesn't let Mama walk all over you.

Answer 10

girl you dont need to be trying to impress this women shes just a person like you, I know how you feel though me, and my husband are from different country, and his mama dont speak english. As far as the cooking goes she should teach you if you want to learn, but you should relax your husband married you for love ,and nothing his mama does can change that he has already showed that,just breath it will be ok im pretty shore.