I have a question to all married people. I am a little confused. I am happily married for 12 years now. I feel bad though because I have been dreaming of my ex. After I wake up, I still am thinking about him. Does anyone else do this? I have not even seen or spoke to my ex in over 13 years and there is no way I would ever want to go back to him. Why am I dreaming about him?
2006-12-19 01:40:53 · 21 answers · asked by floridagirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Relationships we have leave a mark on us for the rest of our lives - especially if it was a long or particularly intense relationship. The feelings you are having may not be about the ex, it could be a symptom of some restless in your life. Since you are happily married, it may not even be about your current state in the relationship.
Sometimes we can get into reflective moods that can carry on for days/weeks/months. Is this something you can talk to your husband or a close friend about? Maybe you are feeling a longing or a wondering about what might of happened if you had made another decision in your life? I think these thoughts are normal and happen to all of us once in awhile. A problem that might require more serious concern would be if your thoughts of the ex became obsessive and you couldn't stop thinking about him.
Try talking about this with your husband, close friend, or a counselor. You may find that there is a deeper issue about yourself that you need to explore.
2006-12-19 02:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by Bunni18 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same thing. I've been married 8 years, together 10, and have not seen my ex in over 10 years, but the thoughts about him never went away. I still think about him from time to time, although we have communicated by email a couple of times.
For me, it was because he was my first love. The actual relationship was pretty crap, but looking back you can forget the crap bits. I think when you have been with someone a long time, the mind can start to play funny tricks on you, and reminiscing about the past can be quite nice. I wouldn't dream of going back to my ex, but thinking about the what ifs can be fun. Maybe what I am really missing is me at that age when I didn't have a care or responsibility in the world.
2006-12-19 01:50:49 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found myself in a simalar situation not long ago. The man I was dreaming about was never a boyfriend though, just a really good friend. I eventually got his number and gave him a call, just to check up on him. He was in a horrible relationship with a woman who was actually abusive to him. We talked about it and he got out of the relationship soon after. I also found that he had always had feelings for me and never told me...I had felt the same way. But I was married now. .We are still friends. All those yesars ago we were sooo close. I feel like he was sending out some kinda signal that he needed help and Im glad he did. We resloved the feelings left between us and helped him out of a bad relationship.
2006-12-19 01:48:48 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are thinking of something different that you don't have. Perhaps he did something or used to tell you something that your husband now doesn't do. It's a trade off. There is a reason he's your ex. However, it's not uncommon to dream or think or fantasize about someone else that can provide whatever it is you're lacking in your relationship now. You have to decide what you want. And what's most important. How is you marriage going these days?
2006-12-19 02:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it is just something on your mind. My husband had a couple dreams about his ex wife last year. They had not spoken for over 20 years so we both thought it was strange. I suggested he try to contact her to see how she was. (They parted very amicably) After some searching he was able to contact her and they sent a couple emails back and forth to catch each other up on their lives.
We sent her family a Christmas card this year and she sent us one back. I think it is great because they did share part of their lives together and it is a comfort knowing the other person has gone on to live a happy life.
My only point is, maybe that is where you are now, just wondering how they are doing.
2006-12-19 01:47:44 · answer #5 · answered by Alexandra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the dreaming. When you wake up after the dream why do you continue to think about him if there is no way you would get back with him? That should be where your concern lies, not in the realm of these dreams.
2006-12-19 01:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once in a while I dream about my ex, but upon waking I shudder,
and think ooh bad dream, role over and snuggle my husband.
2006-12-19 01:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're subconscious is trying to tell you something. Did you see someone that looked like him? (even for a second?) Is it close to a certain date or special occasion you two had? The subconscious mind goes to 'work' when your rational, thinking mind is asleep. Maybe there is something wrong in your marriage. Could be any number of things. Think about it, it'll surface in time.
2006-12-19 01:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. After 13 years. That must have been some good ding-a-ling! In all seriousness, it's no big deal. I'm married and I always dream about other women.
2006-12-19 01:46:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes when things are left unresolved you can start to wonder about it, there is nothin wrong with it really because you will never act on it, but you sould sit down and search your brain and heart to see why this is happening.
2006-12-19 01:44:59 · answer #10 · answered by ncgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋