I got married and now wife does not act like she wants to work.?

Question

When I met my wife she was working, since we have been married she has not returned back to work. She was going to school, but now she does not do that. I have only been married for 10 months. I have talked to her about it, and she says he can't find a job. Should I stay or Should I leave? I thanks she just wants someone to take care of her. I am not rich...

Answer 1

Talk to her & tell her that if she dosent make an attempt to help with the finances, that the marriage is over, explain to her that you cant do it by yourself.

Answer 2

Yup, that's most women's dream. A man to take care of them. Like being a housewife in the 1950's. You met a nice man, suckered him into marrying you and then you took care of the house and children. Well, not so easy nowadays. If you had the money and could afford to do so, that would be great if that's what she wants to do. A lot of women want a career too now though.

Go to counseling before you throw in the towel on this marriage. People give up way to easily now on marriages. Give it a chance. Try to make it work.

Answer 3

Maybe your vows were different, but the traditional ones include "for richer and for poorer" for a reason. Of course you should not leave! What you should do is go on a very strict budget. The first thing I would get rid of is whatever your wife uses the most for entertainment. If it's the internet, cut your high speed service and go to a dial up modem, or cancel your internet service altogether. If it's TV, cancel the cable or the satellite and use only the antenna. If she's on the phone all day, have the line disconnected. Always tell her sadly, "We just can't afford it without you working."

Answer 4

Unless she is at home taking care of kids, there really is no excuse for not working. What does she do all day?

Tell her it isn't fair on you that you run the house singlehandedly on one wage when she is quite capable of earning money too. I can't understand women like her. Where is her self respect?

I wouldn't think about leaving just yet. Wait until you have talked this through properly. Tell her how you are feeling about it. If nothing changes, it might be time to move on.

Answer 5

I say this NOT in her defense, but on the defense for TRUTH...Do the words, which are so overspoken, and thus dumbed down to mean nothing to most: "FOR BETTER OR WORSE, RICH OR POOR, SICKNESS OR HEALTH, TILL DEATH DO US PART" mean anything?
Women DO have an inherent "need" to be "taken care of"....but if you both are without kids, than I think she should be working or going back to school. Your role in the MARRIAGE is to be the breadwinner; aka the Provider. Hers is to take care of the home, and the children. Hers is also to take care of YOU in ways that are not financial, like for example; to support you in your endeavors, be a comfort to you when you have stressing days, and to follow your lead, in trust-as the MAN she chose to spend all of the remaining days of her life with.
My advice comes from old school Christian living. You may or may not agree. But since Adam and Eve, the LORD has shown us thru His WORD (aka the BIBLE) that woman was made for the causes of companionship for the man, and also as a HELPER. She is to stand by him, trust him and be revered as the weaker vessel.
Now, I know alot of that is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT AND SEEMS FAR-FETCHED IN THE DAYS IN WHICH WE LIVE; but GOD created us, and His plan for a marriage, and family maintenance is much better than our own.
Is there underlying causes or depression, health issues or whatnot- that may be contributing to her undetermined choices? If you love her, you should talk these things over with her. Maybe "marriage" in reality is NOTHING like the thoughts she has pre-determined all along since childhood-and sh is feeling heavily LET DOWN over it? You should just keep the communication going and find out why she doesnt seem to want to contribute to your union anymore.......I will keep the 2 of U in my thoughts and prayers.
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Answer 6

Tell her this, if you were productive before marriage what happened. Part of my attraction to you was your independence, now your turning me off. If I'm going to pay bills by myself I should live by myself absolutly noone lives anywhere free. Marriage means teamwork not one take care of another when you have two perfectly healthy individuals. She'd better shape up or go home with someone who will let her be lazy. When you have two incomes coming in the households you have less stressful financial issues. Let her know man!

Answer 7

You married her because she had a job or because you wanted her for a wife?As a man you should take care of your wife,BUT IF YOU WANTED SOMEONE TO HELP WITH THE BILLS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT A ROOM MATE!

Answer 8

Tell her that if she isnt working, her full time job is to find a job. Tell her that you think she should work and not stay at home and do nothing. Keep telling her, and give her a time frame to find a job, or move out. Tell her exactly what you want to see happening... Often, men do NOT tell a woman what they want exactly and women OFTEN do not know, so be specific and stick to it. Good luck!!

Answer 9

did you be responsive to that she smoked weed earlier you married her? and you have sworn an oath to uphold the regulation? So how quickly will that is earlier you could grow to be a WalMart protection safeguard because you have been fired?

Answer 10

It' surprising how many people answer their own questions when they put it "in writing", as you did. I'm afraid you were right about the 'free ride'. Tell her to share in the responsibilities, or go use someone else.