im finding it really difficult to be enthusiastic about this new baby. altho i not unhappy about it, im worried coz i struggle already with my son. i need some advise on how to get through the days when im feeling drained both emotionally and physically. and how will i manage once this one is born?? my husband helps all he can but he works really long hours....
2006-12-19 00:45:34 · 43 answers · asked by pepsicola 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Don't listen to the jerks on this board....sometimes it happens that way. One of my friends was on the pill and got pregnant...she was also breastfeeding her young son and not anticipating being pregnant again. I don't know from any experience other than hers, but I have seen that she handles it day to day, moment to moment. Just remember that things happen for a reason and that if you want to badly enough, you will make it work. Also, remember that your children will one day be happy that they are close in age. My husband and his brother are about that far apart in age and have a wonderful friendship (at least now that they are older :) They are similar in life experiences and are great friends with each other and your children will benefit from that. Keep your chin up and it will work out for you!
2006-12-19 00:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by kath_08012 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I am currently pregnant with my second child and have a 20 month old at home. The first trimester is so trying, so please nap when he naps. It was a lifesaver for me. Your hormones are also all out of whack. We planned this pregnancy, and I was still feeling the way you do. Now that I am in my second trimester and I've heard the heartbeat and the nausea and exhaustion are fading away, i feel much better about the pregnancy. You will do it.... I bet there were times you felt this way during your first pregnancy (Will i be a good mom, Will I be able to handle no sleep? What was I thinking?) and you took it one day at a time. You will do the same when the new baby arrives. Finally, see if you can arrange extra help the first few weeks. Family members and friends who can swing by and take your toddler to the park while you catch a nap for an hour can be a lifesaver. Live on take-out if you need to and let the house go until you get on your feet again. It will be OK. Congratulations.
2006-12-19 00:55:20 · answer #2 · answered by kelly k 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm having my 4th in april next yr and my youngest has just turned 1. i'm a little worried as i've been working full time since my son was 3months (it was a nacessaty not a choice) my hubby looks after the kids while i work but when i have this 1 i'm not going back to work so i'm a bit uneasy about looking after a new born and an into everything toddler...
there are a lot of support groups out there and your health visitor should be able to point you in the right direction. thats what there there for... also do you have family close by that can help or that you can talk to when it gets hard.
i wish you look, but i dont think that you'll need it. just remember talk to your hubby when things get hard keep talking to each other and if you get angry put the kids somewhere safe and have a cuppa....
merry christmas...
2006-12-19 01:40:37 · answer #3 · answered by jojo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel! I found out I was pregnant again when my son was 9 months old, there is 17 months b/w him (now 21 months) and my daughter (4 months).
When I found out I was devastated and just thought that I would never cope. My husband was delighted as were all my family but I just couldn't share their enthusiasm. They all kept saying that it would be ok in the end, you will love 2 babies just the same etc.etc.
As the pregnancy wore on it became harder with my little boy, especially through the heatwave, but somehow I got through it and had my daughter by c-section in August.
It has been hard looking after the 2 of them, especially as he is still too young to understand that she needs a lot of attention but it is getting easier. Some days I would gladly put them both on e-bay and the sight of my husband arriving home from work is extremely welcome! Some days I don't manage to get a shower & my husband is lucky to get any dinner!
I would say try & stay positive, it is hard, you will be tired but it is worth it in the end and they will grow up together.
Also, accept any offers of help going as you will really appreciate them, especially if you can get rid of the childrenfor a few hours a week here & there just to have a bit of "me time".
Good luck!!
P.S. It could be worse - when I was in hospital having my daughter, the girl in the room next door was 36 weeks pregnant with twins.....and her son was only just 9 months old!!!
2006-12-19 01:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by TheYorkshireRose 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ah, I remember feeling that way. My daughter was 3 months and with great reluctance I told my husband I was pregnant.. again. He was thrilled which made it hard for me to tell him how UNthrilled I was. I stressed about the baby almost the entire pregnancy. I really wasn't ready for another one and looking back I could have gone through a mild depression about it. But eventually (by 7 mo) I was ready for him. I never got totally excited like I was with my first 3 but I didn't resent him anymore. On the really hard days, I would do things that didn't remind me I was pregnant and a mother of 3. I would do puzzle books or go out when my husband got home and just take a walk around the mall or even the Wal-Mart! I felt bad that I felt that way, but you can't help how you feel. A little fresh air and new enviroment worked wonders for me and now he is 1 month old and a real sweetheart. It is a little difficult with two little ones, I definately don't get as much sleep as I used to, but other than that life didn't change too much. My best advice is to come to terms with how you feel and accept it without stressing about it too much. I really believe the amount of stress I had impacted my delivery. Good luck with those babies!
2006-12-19 01:04:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I comend you! Well, your husband is already working really hard, but it's nice to hear he's not a dead beat! Maybe see if he could do just a little more, while you're pregnant at least. Maybe talk to him about how hard it is, and see what he says (sounds like a good guy). Also, what about grandma or best friend? Can they come get the baby so you can have a night of a long shower and to bed early? That can do alot when you are stressed out. It will be okay, don't be afraid to ask for help! Babysitters are AWESOME and can help you manage your life. I am 19 weeks pregnant and my daughter is only 14 months (lol, and horrible! She climbs on everything, pulls down everything, very very possesive and just a little devil, but I love her). I get scared and I break down sometimes, but it will be okay. Seems like an impossible feat, but it's not. Remember to ASK FOR HELP!
2006-12-19 07:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be dismayed by all those insensitive answers(the first 2 idiots). Apparently you are at your most fertile after having a baby and if you didnt know that, it isnt your fault, the doc should have said to you. Even if you did, we all mess up now and again. You seem a nice person and Im sure you will cope, things might be hard for a while but know that there are people out there who you can talk to. Meaning friends, family, doctors social work ect. You arent alone, nor will you be a bad mother. just go with the flow , things might be better than you think. Best wishes and have a merry christmas
2006-12-19 03:06:10 · answer #7 · answered by brunelscooby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a seven month old and I am pregnant with number 3. It hard, and some times even scary. I am almost 6 weeks pregnant. I know that everything happens for a reason and that this baby is meant to be. God will not give you more that you can handle. If you need finical help, there are dept. of social services that you can like get Medicaid, food stamps, reduced light bills and I think water bills. Just ask, sometimes people need a little help. Its hard, after I found out I was happy, but then scared, and worried. But I told my mom and she always says the things I need to hear to know everything will be OK. Now me and my husband are so happy and cant wait to welcome or third little blessing into the world and our family. Best of luck to you and your family. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!!!
2006-12-19 01:02:41 · answer #8 · answered by kristin h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is when your friends need to help .them or the parents. when yuor little one goes down for a nap make the most of it by having a bath or a sit down and a cup of tea. the first trimester is going to be draining on its own but with an 8 month old it`s going to be trying. find time for your self go to mother and baby groups, bother your friends. this all seems like more work but realy some time out of the house and talking to others in the same situation will really help. I must admit that i can never know exactly what you are going through as i am a bloke but lokking after my 18month old for the last year and a bit is definatly an eye opener. seek out friends not just on the internet but also out in the real world. see if your local library does a story time that you can take your little one to. it might just slow them down for a few minutes worked for me with mine
good luck honey , take a deep breath and see how it goes
2006-12-19 02:21:22 · answer #9 · answered by strange_bike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's amazing what we women can do when we have to! Here's some good advice from an older (and I hope, wiser than I used to be) mum:
1. Eat well and sensibly. Fish, meat, eggs, vegetables, fruit. Take the folic acid & stuff that your doc prescribes.
2. When your son sleeps, lie down and rest, even if you don't sleep.
3. Don't turn down offers of help from mum, mum in law, sisters, friends.
4. Don't try to do everything - dust will still be there another day!
5. Look after yourself, don't run yourself ragged. Watch those nanny 911 type programmes for good tips for raising kids.
6. Read the manual and find out what causes pregnancy - if you haven't yet found out!
7. Take steps to prevent this happening again!!
2006-12-19 01:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by Songbird 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first two children were 12 months and two days apart. What I found was that I didn't think about how much I had to do, I just did it. It wasn't until after my third child was potty trained did I do the calculations to find that I had changed diapers for 6.5 years solid. You do what you need to do. One word of wisdom I did learn while my children were small was that when they napped, I napped. It was my saving grace to be able to re energize at the same time they did. From the beginning they had a strict bedtime as well. That allowed time for me to do the other things around the house that I needed to do as well. I also had a fulltime job working 12 hour shifts and a hospital 45 minutes from my home, so everyting had to be planned in a structured fashion in order for me to get things done. The bottom line is that I took things one day at a time. Good luck to you and your wonderous time ahead. Merry Christmas!
2006-12-19 00:55:59 · answer #11 · answered by softheart_strongwill 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋