Most of you answered before that I should move away. I can't. I have nowhere to go. I am seeking suggestions for some other things to do.
My story:
Does the MISERY of being left ever go away?
My husband left me and three small children to move three blocks away for anther woman. He is well known so I can't just not think of him. He is in the newspaper often. I hear about him and his new woman. I can't move home because it was destroyed in the hurricane that hit Mississippi. So I am stuck on the East Coast and want to die and am seriously considering it. Any help? Anyone?
2006-12-19 00:38:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take him to court and make him even more well known. Call the newspapers and let them know this "fine" person that appears in their rag is a cheater and has deserted you and the children.
Divorce him as publically as you possibly can.
2006-12-19 00:42:41 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It must be really tough to handle. I really feel for you. This has to be the worst thing to have to deal with when you have 3 small babies to take care of too.
What you need here is support. Do you have any relatives or friends nearby who could come and be with you? Maybe someone who could take care of the kids for a while, so you can take some time for yourself? Someone else suggested giving the children to your husband for a while. This is not a bad idea at all, if you think you can do that. After all, they are his kids too, and you need space, especially if you are having the kind of thoughts you are talking about.
The most important thing for you to do now is get busy. I mean really occupy your time. Sitting around at home, retreating into your shell is tempting, but this is not what you need. You need to get back out there and live again. Find other people. Are there any mother and child groups you could join? Or perhaps you could start a course, learning a new skill, which will help you to meet people. You need company, and lots of it, because being alone is not good for you right now.
You will be alright, you know. It might not feel like it now, but things will get better. You need to move on with your life, and remember this is your life. Yours to own and control. Make yourself into that strong woman again who doesn't let things get her down. Do this for you, not for him, and for your kids. They need you.
2006-12-19 09:08:41 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you probably can't move back home, but is there another area in town where you can move? It seems much to painful for you to live in the same proximity as this man. Put more energy into seeking another living condition. Put the word out and let people know you're interested in moving. Also, file for child support, if you haven't already done so.
Don't consider dying, my friend. Your kids need you. Don't let them lose daddy and mommy too. Clearly, your husband did a terrible thing, but you must find the strength to rise above it. That's not to say that you're not hurting inside. Just know that time heals all pain, and that we all must reap what we sow.
Hold your head up and stay strong!
2006-12-19 09:04:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to redirect your energy into positive things. He is a scum bag and that should have no reflection to you. As grim as things might seem right now, suicide is not the answer. If you aren't living for yourself, live for your children. They need you now more than ever especially because their father has chosen to abandon them.
Try to find things to keep your mind on, if only just a distraction it will help. Get involved with your children's school. If you are not working, get a job. Try to reach out to local women that have or are also going through similar things such as this. Also, not meant the wrong way but you should maybe think about seeking professional help. This is a huge loss and bruise to your ego and a counselor might be able to help you go through the motions and get through this.
2006-12-19 08:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by On the upside 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have beautiful children, what will they do if they have no one?? This is your main mission now. Sure, you feel sad and alone, but your children will feel it more than you ever will if they have no father AND no mother. Seek psychological help. Suicidal ideation is no light matter.
Hold your head high, don't let HIS shame (because that is who it truly belongs to) get you, be strong for your kids, walk with grace, you are realizing a terrible pain which could have only been postponed if it hadn't happened now. It would have happened sooner or later. Get through your day minute by minute. Join support groups.
"I guess one afternoon
You won't cross my mind
And I'll get over you
Over Time"
-Lucinda Williams.
Take care!!
2006-12-19 09:02:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will go away. First you need to get an attorney and start fighting back a little bit. Right now you are letting him get the best of you and you need to stand up for yourself.
If he is well known, a good attorney will be able to force his hand a little as he probably does not want to suffer adverse publicity.
I know it is hard, but your children need your strength and you have much to live for.
2006-12-19 09:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Alexandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was not your fault. You cannot die. You have three kids that love you and are counting on you to take care of them and love them. Yes, it is hard right now to get through this but I promise that you will. Pray and God will help you to have the strength the make it through. I don't believe that the answer is to run away....you can make a new life for yourself and be okay. Please don't do anything drastic!!! How would your kids feel if right after their father left you died? Horrible!!! I will pray for you to have the strength to get through this....I am sorry that this happened to you but I know that you can make it through and be happy again.
2006-12-19 08:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by small_town_gal_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the state your in you need to check with dss, and sign up for workfirst, and they will help you find a place to move and, help with getting a job if you dont already have on, and they will pay for child care as long as you hold the job, and you need to remeber there is alway hope and a way to make things better and he is the loser and he does not deserve you and you will find someone who does, and you should focus on your kids and your future.
Good Luck
2006-12-19 08:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by ncgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad you are!
I even cannot say what a pity!
But killing yourself will be painful memory to your children .
If you love children you must live, hold on to yourself.
We were born not by our will and life goes also not by will, life is sometimes terribly horrible to some people .But suicide or selfpity are not answers, actually there are much more people who are experiencing more horrible things than you are.
I know these words sound like cliche .
But even though it is difficult now ,find courage
and hope in your heart.Life is beautiful thing.
And someday we all die ,why kill yourself now?
2006-12-19 09:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by earthlove 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start by thinking in your children. Do you want to leave then alone? Do you want this new wife of your husband to take care of them? I know it is not easy but you have to get over it. For your kids, at least.
2006-12-19 08:45:47 · answer #10 · answered by cb56br 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋