I have a friend that is too needy -- how to I put put an end to it?

Question

I have a friend (we have known each other since August) and while I think she is a nice person, she ALWAYS has some issue or another. Right now she lost her job, and the guy she was living with kicked her out -- so where is she -- sleeping in MY living room. She has a baby that she has part of the time -- it's the reason I let her come over when he kicked her out -- but how do I ask her to leave. She has no where to go and no one to help her, but I'm NOT her family and really don't want to deal with all of this.

I live in South Florida -- does anyone know of any shelters or help services that can assist her?

I already know that I can't her continue to live here and I plan on telling her, I'm just looking for some options to gie on where she can go. I already plan on telling her she has until the new year to move on. But I'd like any information on shelters or what not in the area. I really don't want to spend the time on researching this. I was just looking to see if someone already had some of those answers. Thanks for all your help.

Answer 1

you can't put up with this for the rest of your life. but be aware that her life is pretty awful right now - i mean there is a reason why she is being needy and its not entirely her own fault!
gently tell her that you need your space back and that you'll help her find somewhere else to live.

Answer 2

I feel for you - and her for that matter.

She must suspect that you'll not want her staying for too long and your request is not unreasonable. Giving her a time limit seems a bit harsh so maybe you can start by talking to her about the situation. Tell her that obviously she can't stay in your living room forever and make some suggestion about where she could seek help for her and the baby. She should get the message - if not you could try to put a time limit on her stay.

(Have you noticed how all the men (male nickname/avatar) are posting replies that reflect a complete lack of empathy while the women take this seriously.. that's interesting..)

Answer 3

Seeing as you have not known her for long, It was very nice of you to put her up. Is she attempting to find a new job yet? That would be one of the first things she should do. Also, suggest that she find herself a hobby, something she can focus on and feel good about. Get her to consider seeing the doctor for depression. Ask her to read some inspirational books (conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsh is a good one)
If she wants her life to get better she will follow at least two of these suggestions otherwise, tell her, If she wont help herself, your sure as hell not doing it for her!
Xx

Answer 4

I live in the UK but if there is anything like social services then contact them. You need to get more help to help her. But first of all, you need to put yourself in that situation and have a little more patience! If you had a baby, lost your job and lost your place to live wouldn't you be feeling pretty bad? You definitely wouldn't want anyone being impatient with you and trying to kick you out. Give her the time she needs to get sorted - I'm not saying that she can live at your house forever but someone who's feeling better is obviously going to feel more empowered to help herself. And remember it's nearly Christmas - would you have kicked Jesus out of the stable?

Answer 5

Be honest. Let her know that this situation is not working and that she needs to find other arrangements for her and her child. She will continue to lean on you as a crutch. But you cant just put her out. you should talk to her and give her some options and a timeline. Get some info on shelters or low income housing and public aide. Then let her know she has to do something.

Good luck! Don't be a jerk about it. Help her see what she needs to do. Don't just put her out.

Answer 6

What a difficult situation you are into. I think she should realize about that and look for a solution. Beside you've not been friends for such a long time so as to make you feel you HAVE TO host her for your life.
Although it's hard ,try to tell her you can't go on like this. Good luck, I wish I could answer you something more positive.

Answer 7

I don't know any shelters but you can't kick her out just yet after all it is Christmas. What you need to do is sit her down and tell her that its time that she started to sort out her life.

Tell her that she needs to start looking for a place to live because you are afraid that she can't stay in your living room. tell her that you will help in anyway that you can, but she has to move on.

Give her a few weeks and say that definitely by mid January she needs to be out. Tell her that you are doing this for her own good, you are not doing it to be cruel but she needs to get on with her life. Emphasise that you will help but you can't help her if she refuses to help herself first

Answer 8

As i don't live in America i can not help you on help for people but you could find out from other people about that, but once you have found out the imformation you8 could give it all to her saying" It's been nice having you stay here,but it is time for you to move on.I need my space as i am sure you do to, and you have made up my mind about one thing, i do not ever want kids!"

Answer 9

There are people who don't function uless there is drama in their lives. You see her as needy, but she found you. People like that will always find someone else. The day she doesn't is the day she will grow up. Let her do the work of finding herself a place to stay.

Answer 10

You invited someone into your home after meeting them 5 mths ago..............are you insane?. Kick her out shes taking advantage of you. I bet shes got family somewhere in the world,,,,like an aunt or uncle....wake up shes not your responsibility.