By consistiently, I mean at least three times a week. She always finds an excuse not to go to the gym. But she always complains of her weight. She has some soft areas on her body which are not very attractive. Working out on a regular basis will easily tone those areas up. She does not listen to the advice I give her. I'm frustrated because I'm getting tired of looking at her continue down this path. I'm not being overly critical. I'm not mr. atlas, but I'm in pretty good shape. I'm muscular 6'2" 235 lbs. I just want her to pay more attention to herself and stop making excuses. What do I do?
2006-12-19 00:23:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's funny- the completely opposite responses given by the women and men. It seems as wives get way to comfortable in their marriages and don't do enough to keep their husbands from the arms of all the smaller, enthusiasict women that don't care if a man is married or not.
2006-12-19 00:32:48 · update #1
Betty, down below, has made the assumption that I am white. I am not. But color has nothing to do with a man not wanting a wife with rolls.
2006-12-19 00:48:08 · update #2
I wonder maybe she isn't comfortable at the gym where you belong? There are lots of "all women" gyms out there, that she may feel better at. When I first started working out I was pretty intimated and uncomfortable with the gym and the machines.
If you like where you go to the gym you are more likely to go.
Maybe you could make a bet or deal with her to offer her an incentive, like a trip somewhere, new bathing suit or outfit, trip to Victoria's secret on you, once she reaches her own personal goal. Send her some flowers or a treat once she goes at least two weeks consistent( yes only two weeks) , saying you noticed a difference in her that shes more radiant, more energetic and that you are proud of her for being so disciplined and focused on herself. And that you are glad she is taking time for just herself because she deserves it.
Hope I help!
2006-12-19 01:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all, what excuses does she give?
I am overweight and know that I need to tone up and lose some weight. I bugged the crud out of my husband to get the Bowflex Revolution and he finally got it. Well, it is now at his friends house and he hasn't worked out on it in over a month (which I said that he needs to work out or bring it home so I can use it). I also said that I wanted to get a treadmill or something so I can do cardio. Well, he finally agreed and we are waiting for it to be delivered. My point is, he makes comments about my weight and says I need to do something about it. Well, I finally got him to agree to get things in the house so I didn't have to drive an hour to go to the gym. I love working out but hated going to the gym because I am overweight.
My point is: Maybe she wants to workout and tone up the areas that she needs to, but is embarrassed to go to the gym. Ask her if she wants a treadmill or stairclimber or treadclimber (or something) at the house so she can do it on her own time without the embarrassment of going to the gym. Just be tactful about it.
If you have made comments to her that certain areas of her body are unattractive, then that may have gotten to her and gave her a complex that everyone thinks that. Just back off a little, give her room, and ask her if she wants something in the house. Even if she says yes but doesn't use it, it will still be used by you.
2006-12-19 09:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by KJ97Y100 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is there anyway the two of you can work out together? Or maybe if she has all these excuses you could help her get rid of them for example help with the dishes so they aren't an excuse. Don't push to hard because you may hurt her feelings and she may start getting bigger from depression. Try to be supportive not angry and annoyed. Please don't ever tell her she looks unattractive women will not take it the same way a man looks at it.
2006-12-19 08:29:13 · answer #3 · answered by zara01 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
White men are really hung up on weight. As a social worker, I find this fascinating that they want their women to have the shapes of boys. Hmmm. Maybe that is why there is so much anorexia. Anyway, to tone her up, get some home gym equipment and work out with her. It can be quite sensual. By the way, I am 5'7 132 pounds, in the best shape of my life at this age. Men I deal with like a women with curves, not fat, curves. Tell her that she will feel better and have more energy.
2006-12-19 08:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Noone can make her to work out if she doesn't want to. Most of the time people stop working out is that they don't see the result immediately. She has to know, it takes almost 3 months of excercise and healthy diet to see results. It's a slow progress. Once you start seeing toned lines appear in your legs or triceps, you're hooked.
You may want to make it a schedule to workout together, same time everyday or every other day. I hit the gym after my morning coffee and go whether I feel like going or not. It is the most refreshing feeling when you come out after workout.
2006-12-19 09:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by Suzanne 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe that's just her weak area and she doesn't want people to critic about it.
Anyway, she would be more willing to go to the gym if u could just work out together with her. Do let her know you not only care about her physically but also spiritually.
Pamper her even if she only manage to lose weight by 0.5kg. It would be a great encouragement.
2006-12-19 08:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by miserable 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I work as a personal trainer so I kind of get paid to be in tip top shape so I am lucky in the regard....
I do not think working out 3 days a week is too much to ask of our spouse or significant other. Being fit makes us healthier, both mentally and physically.
2006-12-19 12:03:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a woman, I say make going to the gym an event. Also, take her for a walk after dinner. The two of you can chat and it burns fat. Make it a "couple activity" and it will work best. You could even together join a gym separate from yours and hers so that you both can still have your privacy in those places. Have fun Make it fun!
2006-12-19 08:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe your wife is doing that cause she feels no matter what she does you are not going to think she is pretty, you should spend a little less time thinking about the outside and focus on the inside, try talking to her asking her how she feels because its obvious she is dealing with something inside, So its time for you to be her HUSBAND and talk to her let her know you care.
2006-12-19 09:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by ncgirl 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your wife is lazy. Why do you think she's getting fat? She also has no discipline. She can't keep that fork out of her mouth. Call her a fat lazy fu*ck and see if she gets off the couch.
Take her to a doctor and make sure that she gets checked up. Her doctor should tell her to lose weight, and then you can keep riding her based on the doctor's recommendations. Keep calling her a fat a*ss. If anything, she will burn calories trying to beat you up for saying that to her.
Also, a comment to all of the people who think this is just about looking good. It's has nothing to do with looking good. This is about taking care of your health. Check out the BMI chart. Look at your height and look at where your weight should be. It's about maintaining a HEALTHY weight. It has NOTHING to do with looks. Women, get it through your fat a*ss skull. It's about health.
http://www.consumer.gov/weightloss/bmi.htm
2006-12-19 08:43:01 · answer #10 · answered by Sax M 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋